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The ebb and flow when first getting physical


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Posted

There was a post here a couple of days ago of a woman voicing her concerns over a new relationship she started with the guy. I forgot what exactly transpired. I think they were in their early-mid-20s.

 

Wasn't sure if they had been sexually active or he was trying to get her to come to his house...or something. Or they just STARTED being sexually active, but her concern was...

 

"Does he only want me for sex?"

 

A lot of people voiced, "Well, he would not have stuck around as long as he had if you didn't" to "Well, he's young, it's a new relationship, chances are he's going to want it alot since he's young and highly hormonal."

 

Questions about "He wants it a little too much."

 

Some said, "Well, if he respected you, he'd hold off even though you didn't want it, and he does."

 

Even I've been in those situations where I'd be in a new relationship, things get hot and heavy, do the "Everything but", then all of a sudden she'd go cold...overly concerned about me considering her as just a "booty call."

 

Wouldn't the bottom line be the fact that the two aren't sexually compatible? Not on the same page, etc?

 

I hear about how couples are doing it like bunnies daily with no question, so it seems to me that they would.

Posted

You are comparing established couples with newly sexual couples. Apples and oranges, especially regarding the level of trust.

  • Like 2
Posted

I think there are other factors that can rule out if he's just out for the booty. Are you going on dates? Are you getting to know one another through conversation?

OR

Does he constantly talk about sex? Inviting you over instead of dates? When you say no, how does he act?..put off? Stops talking to you...

Etc.

 

Is the relationship moving forward or is it just sex?

I know everyone has there own rule in when to sleep with someone, but IMO too soon sends the wrong message.

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Posted

Depends on how one defines too soon

 

I think there are other factors that can rule out if he's just out for the booty. Are you going on dates? Are you getting to know one another through conversation?

OR

Does he constantly talk about sex? Inviting you over instead of dates? When you say no, how does he act?..put off? Stops talking to you...

Etc.

 

Is the relationship moving forward or is it just sex?

I know everyone has there own rule in when to sleep with someone, but IMO too soon sends the wrong message.

Posted

Wouldn't the bottom line be the fact that the two aren't sexually compatible? Not on the same page, etc?

 

I think two people can be sexually compatible but one just wants to wait until the heart catches up with the body. Thinking with their mind not their body.

Posted (edited)
Wouldn't the bottom line be the fact that the two aren't sexually compatible? Not on the same page, etc?

 

I think two people can be sexually compatible but one just wants to wait until the heart catches up with the body. Thinking with their mind not their body.

 

^^yes I agree.

 

Also, guys don't understand that with women, a lot if it is hormones. The week of ovulation they may want it 20 times, towards the end of the cycle they may not be interested in it at all.

 

Men & women don't think a like AT ALL. That's often over looked.

 

I don't think it has anything to do with compatibility.

Everyone has different beliefs, it doesn't mean your not compatible once it does happen.

Edited by Brooke02
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