irc333 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I think one of the reasons my last relationship may have went to the wayside was because I think she had quite a few friends influencing her decision making when it came to our dating situation, esp. if we ran into problems. Usually, the motive of the "Friend" is to really just sabotage the situation only because THEY are unattached, so there may be some kind of bias there. Anyone? I find it often times it's women who let that happen (correct me if I'm wrong).
carly75 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I think you're right, maybe she's not ready because she can't even make her own decision
TigerCub Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Coupla things: #1. Grown, stable women don't let their friends make the relationship decisions. #2. If a friend is giving their $0.02 about a their friend's bf/or situation when asked for it - just because that opinion may not be in favor of the boyfriend doesn't mean that the friend is giving that advice to sabotage her friend's relationship. - > that's stupid. Why would a friend go out of her way to ruin her friend's prospects? You always assume so much about women and you tend to just group us all together - maybe your ex's friends saw these traits amongst others. 1
PegNosePete Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Usually, the motive of the "Friend" is to really just sabotage the situation only because THEY are unattached, so there may be some kind of bias there. Anyone? So what you're saying is that in general, people are bastards? No I don't agree with that. I've never known anyone to deliberately sabotage their friends relationships. If they do, they are not a friend at all. 3
Jules Dash Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Women are just into their friends relationships and do provide much feedback to their friends in this regard but I wouldn't describe it as a sabotage. In general, if the friends perceive you as not treating the woman right then they will have a lot to say but, on the other hand, if you are treating them well the friends will not only love you but may even initiate some harmless flirtatious behavior in presence of their friend. So how the friends react to you is generally an indication on how they perceive you are treating their friend. This behavior tapers as we mature but does not necessarily disappear. Men are just not that much into each other relationships. We may tease you about you being whipped but that is about it. We don't care what your girlfriend is doing to you as along as you are not whipped. 1
RockyCruz Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I think one of the reasons my last relationship may have went to the wayside was because I think she had quite a few friends influencing her decision making when it came to our dating situation, esp. if we ran into problems. Usually, the motive of the "Friend" is to really just sabotage the situation only because THEY are unattached, so there may be some kind of bias there. Anyone? I find it often times it's women who let that happen (correct me if I'm wrong). Yes. It's Biological. It's decades of evolution where women protect their tribe, and that includes their children and....their friends. Most say, that they are not influenced but this contradicts how society behaves to do with media, with fashion, with buying, with the lifestyle they live, with competing up with Joneses, with going to do a degree, with social status, car, a mortgage etc. You're going to hear folks saying, "ME! NEVER! I am never influenced by anyone, or anything." Yes, women are influenced by other women, EITHER consciously or subconsciously. They assess the situation that fits in their world. They see if they will be ostracised by the group they are in....judged, labelled, ridiculed, isolated, ostracized It's not that women can't make decisions on their own. Same with man. It's how we are wired. Some will be influenced by a friend depending on the value they have on their opinions. It depends. Friendship, solidarity, kinship, comradship, is important to women. It's different to men. They don't give a damn but it doesn't mean men are not influenced either and don't care about friendship. It's just their desire is instant, there is no need for transition, comfort but instant sexual drive. They think about sex more than women, every minute, everyday. One look at an attractive women with short skirts, long legs is all it takes. It's just man can live on his own, can sit and watch TV all damn day, play video games all day without thinking of bonding, of socialising. Men won't talk about feelings to other men. Women do it all the time when they start going. It's emotional and bond of friendship happens fast and the trust between them is strong too. Friendship is very important to women. Most of my dates was a friend of theirs approaching me and asking me if I'd go on a date with her friend. Also, I'd go to a party of friends and they know I'm looking for a date, and they'll talk to a friend, and hook me up with her and we get to know each other. She feels safe, comfortable, that her friends know me, trust me, so she can too
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I learned something over the years: If one of my friends doesn't like a guy I date, it's a personality conflict. If they all have a negative opinion, I take another look because usually there is something I missed. 2
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