kristine_123 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I met this guy about two months ago and we started dating. We only met each other a couple of times. First time was just a meeting and the second time he came over to my house and we ended up having sex. It was his first time. After that I felt guilty because I used to tell him I wanted to take everything slow. But then he text me saying "It was great. But like you said, you want to take things slow so even if we are in a relationship and we dont have sex until you feel comfortable doing it, I'll be okay with that". He made me realise I need to dress better (cover arms, legs etc), appreciate small things more and not get too caught up in negativity. I've never met anyone like him before and he's very different from the "usual studs" these days. One day we had an argument when we got this into this convo about the guys I'd slept with in the past. It really upset him that I still talked to them as friends. I broke it off with him after 2 months because he was being too possessive and clingy. Plus I wasn't really feeling the same connection. He tried to get me back but I kept ignoring his messages and eventually told him I didn't like him anymore and didn't want to continue to date him. He gave up but a few days later I started to miss him (which I didn't expect) so I messaged him saying I was missing him and we started talking again. Later on, I also stopped talking to exes because some of the things he said about my self respect were right. Then a few days later he sent me a text saying I was using him as my emotional support, playing games etc etc. that made me angry and I blocked him cos I couldnt take it anymore emotionally. I felt like I was having to support someone else's emotions too. He tried to contact me from different numbers. It got annoying so I eventually told him to **** off. But a few days later, I was listening to a song and it reminded me of him. I couldnt help messaging him and telling him this so I unblocked him and started talking. And I honestly dont know why it's so hard for me to let him go, I mean I keep going back to him after finishing things off. It's been a few weeks now we've talking normally (not very often but every 3 or 4 days). Even talked about meeting up again. But it's been a few days he has started ignoring my messages. I text him, he either doesnt reply at all or replies after a fair few hours. Why is he doing that? Has he lost interest or found someone new?
carly75 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Maybe you have to know each other first before you go into a relationship, maybe he's still upset.
PegNosePete Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 And I honestly dont know why it's so hard for me to let him go, I mean I keep going back to him after finishing things off. I think you answered your own question... some of the things he said about my self respect were right. Well now he's stopped talking to you, I guess he is expecting that your behaviour will continue as it has been going for the last 2 months. That is, totally hot and cold, telling him to **** off one minute and calling him up the next. What kind of relationship is that? Not a good one. I guess he just had enough of being pushed and pulled around, and moved on himself.
Author kristine_123 Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 I think you answered your own question... Well now he's stopped talking to you, I guess he is expecting that your behaviour will continue as it has been going for the last 2 months. That is, totally hot and cold, telling him to **** off one minute and calling him up the next. What kind of relationship is that? Not a good one. I guess he just had enough of being pushed and pulled around, and moved on himself. I do admit the way I acted with him was insensitive but I got scared because he was being too possessive and clingy. Now I realise what I did to him was wrong so that's why I'm bothered about him ignoring me
GQDragon Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 He either grew some balls, learned some game, found a new squeeze, or moved on emotionally. 1
PegNosePete Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Now I realise what I did to him was wrong so that's why I'm bothered about him ignoring me Unfortunately you don't always get a second chance, especially after such a short "relationship". I hope you learned from your experience, so you won't fall into the same trap with the next guy
DrReplyInRhymes Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 You treated this guy much like dog or a toy, You have to understand this is a ploy, It's pretty much a game that nobody really wants to play, To tug on the leash and see if he's still there, a rather annoying cliche.
MidwestUSA Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 In the future, don't talk about sex with your exes. Why wouldn't this guy ignore your messages? You're using him as an emotional tampon, and you're all over the place. Leave him be, he probably doesn't want to be involved with crazy.
Assasda Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 He either grew some balls, learned some game, found a new squeeze, or moved on emotionally. Nail on the head
RockyCruz Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I met this guy about two months ago and we started dating. We only met each other a couple of times. First time was just a meeting and the second time he came over to my house and we ended up having sex. It was his first time. After that I felt guilty because I used to tell him I wanted to take everything slow. But then he text me saying "It was great. But like you said, you want to take things slow so even if we are in a relationship and we dont have sex until you feel comfortable doing it, I'll be okay with that". He made me realise I need to dress better (cover arms, legs etc), appreciate small things more and not get too caught up in negativity. I've never met anyone like him before and he's very different from the "usual studs" these days. One day we had an argument when we got this into this convo about the guys I'd slept with in the past. It really upset him that I still talked to them as friends. I broke it off with him after 2 months because he was being too possessive and clingy. Plus I wasn't really feeling the same connection. He tried to get me back but I kept ignoring his messages and eventually told him I didn't like him anymore and didn't want to continue to date him. He gave up but a few days later I started to miss him (which I didn't expect) so I messaged him saying I was missing him and we started talking again. Later on, I also stopped talking to exes because some of the things he said about my self respect were right. Then a few days later he sent me a text saying I was using him as my emotional support, playing games etc etc. that made me angry and I blocked him cos I couldnt take it anymore emotionally. I felt like I was having to support someone else's emotions too. He tried to contact me from different numbers. It got annoying so I eventually told him to **** off. But a few days later, I was listening to a song and it reminded me of him. I couldnt help messaging him and telling him this so I unblocked him and started talking. And I honestly dont know why it's so hard for me to let him go, I mean I keep going back to him after finishing things off. It's been a few weeks now we've talking normally (not very often but every 3 or 4 days). Even talked about meeting up again. But it's been a few days he has started ignoring my messages. I text him, he either doesnt reply at all or replies after a fair few hours. Why is he doing that? Has he lost interest or found someone new? Maybe what I say can't help with this guy but for future. Guys do this too by the way. Guys who have low self image, self esteem and lack confidence. If you can understand why you're scared it will help you later on. When you was this guy, you felt you're not worthy of having him. So, you tried to impress him with social status i.e. telling him of the guys you slept and even telling him you're still seeing your ex. But you see, you are worthy. You shouldn't think you're not good enough. You had him, he was there, but the old pattern of trying to impress, due to lack of self worth kicked in. It automatically just kicked in and it will happen again with other guys UNTIL you start to believe in yourself, and that you are worthy of going with great guys, guys with intelligence and guys who have some wisdom that it impacts even the way you think in a positive way. Until you look in the mirror and see that your awesome, that you are worthy of all the good things in life, especially a great guy to date, you will always...Self Sabotage the good that comes to you. Guys do this by showing off their money, talking about their job, success, what they do and on and on to impress but really, they are turning the woman off by doing this. You don't show social status that way. You show it in a subtle way. You show it by your confidence in holding a conversation. You show it by your social skills when you go out together. You show it by having knowledge about the world, and similar interest and talking about these. You show it by how you greet other people, how you interact in the world you are in but not by telling others you're with how many guys you slept with, how you still see them and so forth. It backfired and unfortunately, you might have already lost this guy because most guys like him, or any guy with intelligence and inner strength, and going to grow balls, and they going to realise they deserve better respect than having someone they date say, ****** *** to them. So just learn from this and if it happens for you with this guy, great. You can then use what you now know to make it better. If not, then you know what to do next time. 1. Don't impress about how many you slept with. 2. Don't talk about past relationships. 3. Don't talk about how you still see your ex-boyfriend. Because these attack the EGO of man you're with and when you mess with ego, it unleashes hell. It suddenly turns an amazing dating experience and relationship into a disaster.
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