carly75 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Hi guys! I'm new to this forum. My sister is alcoholic, she started drinking when her bf died in a car accident last two years. But now she's always wanted to get drunk, I'm worried for her I don't know what to do to get her healthy again. Please I need some advice
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 You can't make somebody else stop drinking. They have to want to stop. Check out a group called Al-Anon. It's for people who love alcoholics. They will give you pointers on managing. If you think it would help you can have your whole family talk to your sister, express their love & concern. She is still grieving & not coping. Perhaps she doesn't realize that you are all there for her. But alcohol does have a physical component & she may need genuine medical care to stop. 2
amaysngrace Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 There's no way that you can. It has to be her choice. But you can talk to her and tell her that just because somebody died doesn't mean that she should kill herself too, or kill the person she once was, the one he fell in love with. Suggest grief counseling to her. Sometimes people think that drinking is the problem but I've found that, for some, drinking is the medicine for an even bigger problem. She's most likely very sad and is just trying to make herself feel better. 2
Author carly75 Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 You can't make somebody else stop drinking. They have to want to stop. Check out a group called Al-Anon. It's for people who love alcoholics. They will give you pointers on managing. If you think it would help you can have your whole family talk to your sister, express their love & concern. She is still grieving & not coping. Perhaps she doesn't realize that you are all there for her. But alcohol does have a physical component & she may need genuine medical care to stop. Thank you. I should talk to her.
Author carly75 Posted December 1, 2014 Author Posted December 1, 2014 There's no way that you can. It has to be her choice. But you can talk to her and tell her that just because somebody died doesn't mean that she should kill herself too, or kill the person she once was, the one he fell in love with. Suggest grief counseling to her. Sometimes people think that drinking is the problem but I've found that, for some, drinking is the medicine for an even bigger problem. She's most likely very sad and is just trying to make herself feel better. I don't want to force her. I want a better life for her.
me85 Posted December 1, 2014 Posted December 1, 2014 You can't. Speaking from personal experience, a person has to want to stop on their own, for themselves. I once told someone, "I know I need to stop drinking so much but I'm just not ready to." and that someone said, "Yea, but when will you be ready to?"
BC1980 Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 If you attempt to convince someone to stop drinking, it will likely result in more push back from the person. Most people know they have a drinking problem. They don't need others to point it out to them.
carhill Posted December 2, 2014 Posted December 2, 2014 IME, as a male, male alcoholics simply ignore one and the female ones get mad and disconnect one. In the case of our friend who recently died of her alcoholism, no amount of convincing worked. She drank herself to death at the young age of 49. I recently shared this story with another close friend who exhibits signs of problem drinking and simply let it go at that. No push. She's still young enough (mid 40's) to feel invincible. Hopefully it'll work out. Sucks when kids have to bury parents for drinking.
Author carly75 Posted December 3, 2014 Author Posted December 3, 2014 So what is the best thing that I can do?
amaysngrace Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 So what is the best thing that I can do? Nothing. You don't want to force her you said so just wish her to have a better life. But like my grandma use to say, "wish in one hand and shyt in the other and see what you get first". If you don't want to get involved why'd you bring it up?
carhill Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 Try Al-Anon, as suggested prior, for resources to cope with this, as your sister isn't someone you can simply leave behind in life. She's family.
Standard-Fare Posted December 3, 2014 Posted December 3, 2014 If it has reached a point where multiple people in her life are very concerned about her drinking, and it's clearly causing problems in her life, you could gather as a group to try to stage an intervention and convince her to go into rehab. (I don't know if your sister's at that stage yet or not.) I witnessed this happen to a friend of mine this summer, and she did agree to go to rehab for two months, and she's currently working on her new life of sobriety. It was a tense, difficult situation, but things had gotten so bad that action was needed.
welyam Posted December 5, 2014 Posted December 5, 2014 I agree with them, let your sister to realize that she need help
Author carly75 Posted December 6, 2014 Author Posted December 6, 2014 Thank you for all support and advice this is really helpful guys!
SkyLex Posted December 9, 2014 Posted December 9, 2014 We are always here Carly. Just keep posting on what happen to your sister
Dork Vader Posted December 10, 2014 Posted December 10, 2014 Unfortunately there is not a whoke lot you can do. She has too reach bottom before any type of rehab or recovery will work. I personally just got out of residential rehab for alcoholism. I reached out to family for help, i was drinking 10-15 beers a day and 4.5 gallons of vodka a week. I have 38 days sober now. I hit my bottom I was fed up with my life and the chaos that I was living in. You need to go to ALANON, just google ALANON. They hold weekly meetings for family and friends of alcoholics. You will meet people in the exact same position you are in. They can offer support and guidance to you. Your best option is to get your sister into see an addiction therapist. They can help her see that she is an acloholic and help her plan treatment. If she needs rehab I highly recommend Beacon House in Pacific Grove. It's extremely comfortable and has excellent treatment.
Author carly75 Posted December 11, 2014 Author Posted December 11, 2014 I think I need to see to my sister that she's ready to have changes in her life. I need to do it for her.
carhill Posted December 11, 2014 Posted December 11, 2014 IMO, if you're going to step in, have your resources lined up prior, both those relevant to her potential treatment as well as those for your benefit and as strategies of care. The best control of the snowball is at the top of the hill. Good luck!
SkyLex Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 Did you ever try to go to AA meeting or some counseling that offers help about certain kind of addiction your sister dealing right now? You know I'm trying to search some recovery method right now in the net and they are numerous method pop out, like some rehab centers that offers help for addiction, like this site im reading right now recovery rehab personally I'm not sure if going to rehab will work actually I don't have experience on rehab, but in the end great motivation and willingness is the key to recovery
TaylorTrek Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 yep, AA meetings might help. But, it is all depend to the person at the first place. 1
organizedchaos Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Agree with others. Nothing you can do. In my situation, I cut one of my closest friends out of my life in Oct 2013 due to many events that were related to his drinking. We had a huge argument and I blocked him out of my life. A year later he finds a way to contact me. I can tell on the phone he's wasted. It's noon on a Saturday. He apologizes, says he wants to be friends again, etc. asks what he can do to make that happen. I tell him to stop drinking and then we can talk. He says ok. I tell him to call me when he's sober. I don't hear from him again until last week. Mid day on Thursday. He wasted. Nothing has changed. He's made his choice. 2
hoping2heal Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Hi Carly, I am very sorry to hear what you and your sister are going through. As has already been stated, there is nothing you can do. That is not easy to accept - and many have exhausted themselves to no avail thinking and hoping they could. When a drinking problem turns into a full blown addiction there are changes in the brain taking place, the person themselves is at the mercy of their addiction and this is why intervention from a healthcare professional is required - but not always completely effective. You have to take care of yourself Carly but you cannot fix this or make up her mind for her. Maybe perhaps you can suggest some health resources to her if she is receptive but if she is not ready or willing for that it will be a moot point.
CrystalShine2011 Posted February 9, 2015 Posted February 9, 2015 Just be there for her, and express your concern. The thing not to do is to push her to stop, because she will only continue. Try to cheer her up? Take her out, call her often, try to distract her from her pain.
SkyLex Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Howdy Carly! how is everything going on? update us if you have some spare time
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