intothegray Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 (edited) Hi everyone, I wanted to get an unbiased opinion from someone who isn't a close friend. This is my 2nd online dating experience, the first was 2 years ago and was meh. We chatted for a few days online, she messaged me first and ended up asking me if I wanted to meet. I suggest a place, we meet and its fantastic! We're laughing half the time and having great conversation, we end up going to a bar later. She's somewhat touchy feely generally being warm/ staying close the entire time (Non sexual, just being warm). Its late by the time we're wrapping it up, I hug her and we part ways. A couple days later something happens with her and she texts me to see if I'm free- I go see her unexpectedly. Weather is miserable so we end up at one spot for hours. Again, a great conversation/ laughs and general company. Towards the end she said it was a great 2nd date. I wanted to kiss her at the end, but ended up not doing so . She gives me a warm hug before leaving, before then she mentioned that she felt we could talk about anything (We could, its insane how alike we are). She also mentioned she had a really great time on the 1st date. We have a 3rd date coming up. I have to make a move this time, but I'm not sure whether she's physically attracted to me. I haven't kissed anyone I was this attracted to in years and its making me feel insecure and nervous (I'm confident in myself otherwise, I've just been out of the game for a while apart for lame/ alright first dates). I'm also having a hard time warming up to her (Touching her, being playful apart from joking around) despite really liking her. She's gorgeous and seems like a real catch in every way, out of my league I daresay. How does this sound to you guys? I know I need to man up, my ex did a number on me and not dating seriously has thrown me off. I don't want to screw this up, I need to be more physical before I friendzone myself . Whats also screwing me over is I've gotten used to chicks coming onto me and moving things forward (Typically because I wasn't into them much). Edited November 20, 2014 by intothegray
Jules Dash Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I think one of your biggest problems is that you are betting so much on this. Saying things like "I don't want to screw this up" and thinking she is out of your league puts you in a poor mind state when it comes to dating. She will detect this on you. Don't be afraid to screw up on dates. You have to kiss her deeply on the next date. Grab her and dip her down like Clark Gable. 1
Author intothegray Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 (edited) Saying things like "I don't want to screw this up" and thinking she is out of your league puts you in a poor mind state when it comes to dating. She will detect this on you. Can you elaborate more on this? When I say out of my league I'm being modest haha. If anything I think I'm coming off too distant/ nonchalant, so I doubt she'd sense insecurity if thats what you're hinting at. Edited November 20, 2014 by intothegray
Jules Dash Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Can you elaborate more on this? When I say out of my league I'm being modest haha. If anything I think I'm coming off too distant/ nonchalant, so I doubt she'd sense insecurity if thats what you're hinting at. You should think more positive. You are a good catch. So what if you screw up? So what? Take that attitude.
Author intothegray Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 You should think more positive. You are a good catch. So what if you screw up? So what? Take that attitude. I know I am, I've been told by females that I've friendzoned (Not trying to sound cocky saying that I promise). I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that attitude though, if anything I think thats whats wrong with most young people and dating. If I meet a chick I'm interested in and see potential in (In a non desperate way of course), I'll do my best not to screw up. Maybe I'm way off on this haha.
Jame22 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Life is too short. Get out of your head and just kiss her.
Jules Dash Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I know I am, I've been told by females that I've friendzoned (Not trying to sound cocky saying that I promise). I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that attitude though, if anything I think thats whats wrong with most young people and dating. If I meet a chick I'm interested in and see potential in (In a non desperate way of course), I'll do my best not to screw up. Maybe I'm way off on this haha. When you are no longer preoccupied with not screwing up, you become much more relaxed and natural. There is a great freedom to this attitude. You are not anxious or on the edge. This can be easily detected in your behavior. If you are not comfortable with that attitude then I guess you have to go with what you are comfortable with.
MissBee Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 (edited) Why would she agree to a third date if she wasn't attracted to you? The leagues mentality is also silly IMO, as why is she agreeing to see you if she also felt you were beneath her league? I'd say that if she has agreed to see you three times, suffice it to say, she's attracted and you should stop worrying about if she's attracted or not and just feel out the situation and make a move. Edited November 20, 2014 by MissBee
Author intothegray Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 Roger that everyone, Whats funny is that I have that cool/ relaxed attitude regarding the rest of my life, its just the fact that I haven't been dating seriously/ on a good date for years. I'll go for it tomorrow, thanks for laying out the mental smackdown . I won't disappoint yall! 1
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