bobsmith76 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 If I were a woman and a guy wrote to me on an online dating site and I decided that I liked his profile and responded to his email, I would probably make 75% to even 95% of those emails turn into a date. As a man I never see any difference between the emails a woman writes and what she writes on her profile. It almost never happens that I read her profile and then I think, well, in light of this email, I've decided that I was wrong about her after all and she's not worth a date. You barely gain any useful information about a person from an email anyway. Because that almost never happens, if I were a woman I would probably make 75 to maybe even 95% of my response emails turn into a date. However, that is not what is happening on online dating sites. It's more like I only meet 20% of the women that respond to my initial emails. I can't figure out what is going wrong because these second emails I am sending contain very little new information that is not already on my profile. Guys, are you having the same problem? Ladies, how often do you respond to a guy's initial email and then decide that you do not want to meet them after all.
Assasda Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Its not a problem. Its just what happens, and what you have to deal with. Women have to be especially picky, and if they dont respond, accept that. Remember that you dont know any of them, and it could be a myriad of reasons why they dont respond. No use whining about it 1
Andy_K Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 It's because they have a lot of guys to choose from. Most girls aren't going to bother continuing conversations with more than the three or four most interesting prospects in their inbox - it's just too much. So whilst you might initially have been interesting enough to get a reply, the next day when she has a bunch of new guys write to her, you might just find you're not up to the mark any more. For this reason you'll also find it happens far more on high traffic sites like PoF and okc than it does on lower volume (or paid) sites like match or eharmony, or even the smaller free dating sites. You don't just have to write to the right girl... You've also got to catch her at the right time. Play the numbers game, it's the only way.
irc333 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Its not a problem. Its just what happens, and what you have to deal with. Women have to be especially picky, and if they dont respond, accept that. Remember that you dont know any of them, and it could be a myriad of reasons why they dont respond. No use whining about it What's kind of sad is I've pretty much exhausted all my prospects I've already emailed in my area. No responses from most of them of course and ...of course...I still keep seeing her from month-to-month the same faces. So I'll wash-rinse-repeat with another email about a month later to the same women to see if they'll take notice. lol. They are looking like permanent fixtures or it seems like an art gallery that never switches out its artwork.
irc333 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 You don't just have to write to the right girl... You've also got to catch her at the right time. The MOST times I've actually gotten a response and a date was when they were brand spanking NEW to the site. THat they've JUST joined. No joke.
Author bobsmith76 Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 What's kind of sad is I've pretty much exhausted all my prospects I've already emailed in my area. No responses from most of them of course and ...of course...I still keep seeing her from month-to-month the same faces. So I'll wash-rinse-repeat with another email about a month later to the same women to see if they'll take notice. lol. They are looking like permanent fixtures or it seems like an art gallery that never switches out its artwork. How populated is the area you live in?
irc333 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 How populated is the area you live in? It's a chain of various small cities back to back. It's mostly thick of retirees and if they are my age, they are married couples. It's not all that populated. 10 to 15K per adjacent city/town...5 to 6 towns along the same highway.
Author bobsmith76 Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 It's a chain of various small cities back to back. It's mostly thick of retirees and if they are my age, they are married couples. It's not all that populated. 10 to 15K per adjacent city/town...5 to 6 towns along the same highway. Yea, that does sound rather unpopulated. From what I've heard is that if there are only about 30,000 people within a 90 mile radius then your chances are very slim. What gets me is that those women that keep rejecting you, they're not getting that many requests. I sometimes get the feeling that if it was just me and her and we were on Mars then she would still reject me.
Author bobsmith76 Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 So whilst you might initially have been interesting enough to get a reply, the next day when she has a bunch of new guys write to her, you might just find you're not up to the mark any more. I think this is only true for women that are in the top 10% looks wise. Many of the women that I'm writing to rank in the 30 - 40% range looks wise, mean 60% of the women are less beautiful than them. Those types of women are not getting all that many requests.
irc333 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 Yea, that does sound rather unpopulated. From what I've heard is that if there are only about 30,000 people within a 90 mile radius then your chances are very slim. What gets me is that those women that keep rejecting you, they're not getting that many requests. I sometimes get the feeling that if it was just me and her and we were on Mars then she would still reject me. I actually went to a Halloween party with a local friend. To get an idea of the people my age or younger around here...you'd almost swear you're in Jerry Springer. The women were talking about how they wanted to be the living F*ck out of another girl that started some crap with her. Talked about how they almost grabbed a metal pole and beat her senseless. I swear, these "ladies" cursed more intensively than some of the men at the party. LOL LOL...Yeah I know. Once in a while, a newbie would move to the area, realize "Crap, I've lived here a year, and it's all old people! Better get on POF!" They sometimes make note of it in their profile, "Yeah, lived here a year, and it's pretty hard to meet people." I was kind of a pen-pal with a woman from one of these towns that are seasonal when it comes to their horse farms and preparation for horse races. Very attractive single female equestrian types come from all over to BFE for 6 months and put up a personal ad. To look to them compared to the rest of the population, you would think they are out of their element and they are thinking, "What on Earth have I gotten myself into...*Que Green Acres music" She said she started dating men like 2 hrs from her considering her location, but the attempt at doing so has proven quite difficult. Usually they move to where I live to be closer to their family. But usually it's because some relationship/marriage up north didn't work out, so they move. Some even update their profiles
Author bobsmith76 Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 I actually went to a Halloween party with a local friend. To get an idea of the people my age or younger around here...you'd almost swear you're in Jerry Springer. The women were talking about how they wanted to be the living F*ck out of another girl that started some crap with her. Talked about how they almost grabbed a metal pole and beat her senseless. I swear, these "ladies" cursed more intensively than some of the men at the party. LOL LOL...Yeah I know. Once in a while, a newbie would move to the area, realize "Crap, I've lived here a year, and it's all old people! Better get on POF!" They sometimes make note of it in their profile, "Yeah, lived here a year, and it's pretty hard to meet people." I was kind of a pen-pal with a woman from one of these towns that are seasonal when it comes to their horse farms and preparation for horse races. Very attractive single female equestrian types come from all over to BFE for 6 months and put up a personal ad. To look to them compared to the rest of the population, you would think they are out of their element and they are thinking, "What on Earth have I gotten myself into...*Que Green Acres music" She said she started dating men like 2 hrs from her considering her location, but the attempt at doing so has proven quite difficult. Usually they move to where I live to be closer to their family. But usually it's because some relationship/marriage up north didn't work out, so they move. Some even update their profiles I know what you mean. You would think with that state of affairs that everyone in your area would be single but somehow they manage to get married.
irc333 Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 I know what you mean. You would think with that state of affairs that everyone in your area would be single but somehow they manage to get married. They usually marry pretty young around here. Usually prior to legal drinking age. LOL. The women become baby factories. The women new to the area that I keep seeing online, you'd think they'd be convinced enough to think that in this area, they really cannot afford to have unrealistic expectations. They are better off relocating. One woman here, actually lives in a local township, has a Master's degree, great smile (has all her teeth), in pretty good shape, has been on POF forever. She had recently thrown in a blurb, "I love this small town, I am here near my family and don't plan on relocating." I'm pretty much convinced for as long as these ladies on POF live here, they'll wind up being spinsters. Crap, I just rejoined OK CUpid, SAME women on there too!
Author bobsmith76 Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 They usually marry pretty young around here. Usually prior to legal drinking age. LOL. The women become baby factories. The women new to the area that I keep seeing online, you'd think they'd be convinced enough to think that in this area, they really cannot afford to have unrealistic expectations. They are better off relocating. One woman here, actually lives in a local township, has a Master's degree, great smile (has all her teeth), in pretty good shape, has been on POF forever. She had recently thrown in a blurb, "I love this small town, I am here near my family and don't plan on relocating." I'm pretty much convinced for as long as these ladies on POF live here, they'll wind up being spinsters. Crap, I just rejoined OK CUpid, SAME women on there too! I understand that you might want to keep a level of anonymity but can I at least ask what state this takes place in?
MidwestUSA Posted November 21, 2014 Posted November 21, 2014 They usually marry pretty young around here. Usually prior to legal drinking age. LOL. The women become baby factories. The women new to the area that I keep seeing online, you'd think they'd be convinced enough to think that in this area, they really cannot afford to have unrealistic expectations. They are better off relocating. So basically, you're doing OLD strictly to pounce on any new blood that relocates to your area, with the hopes they are different than the existing population. You realize how badly that limits your pool? Honestly, the way you feel about where you live (the constant comments about backwater, people having/not having teeth, 'baby factory' women, putting down women who choose family over a 'social' life, stay at home moms, women who go back to school, the list goes on) perhaps it's time to take your own advice. Relocate.
Mangina Posted November 21, 2014 Posted November 21, 2014 I think this is only true for women that are in the top 10% looks wise. Many of the women that I'm writing to rank in the 30 - 40% range looks wise, mean 60% of the women are less beautiful than them. Those types of women are not getting all that many requests. No he is right. Even just average looking girls get tons of messages. I have seen the results myself on my friends dating profile.
irc333 Posted November 21, 2014 Posted November 21, 2014 So basically, you're doing OLD strictly to pounce on any new blood that relocates to your area, with the hopes they are different than the existing population. Never said anything about strictly limiting myself to these people. I also attend Meetups and commute occasionally to larger cities with the women I communicate with on POF. I just consider it a bonus when newcomers are within minutes from where I live.
MidwestUSA Posted November 21, 2014 Posted November 21, 2014 Never said anything about strictly limiting myself to these people. I also attend Meetups and commute occasionally to larger cities with the women I communicate with on POF. I just consider it a bonus when newcomers are within minutes from where I live. Just curious, but from the way you describe it, your area doesn't sound like a place anyone would want to relocate to. What brings new blood in? Job opportunities? Lower cost of living? Scenery? Peace and quiet? Granted, some enjoy and seek out the type of town you describe, I'm sure. If I'd moved with my parents in '86 when they retired, I'd be one of them. Working at the ole factory, and farming on the side. I'd still be persnickety about my teeth tho.
Superman2024 Posted November 21, 2014 Posted November 21, 2014 What I really don't get are women who give you their number, you exchange a few texts or talk, and they disappear when you suggest meeting. There had to be an initial attraction to get that far, so why are they unwilling to get serious? I can't figure this out and it seems they don't want to put any effort into it or commit at all. Why are they wasting time on these sites, especially paid ones, when they don't intend to meet?
Lani Posted November 21, 2014 Posted November 21, 2014 If I were a woman and a guy wrote to me on an online dating site and I decided that I liked his profile and responded to his email, I would probably make 75% to even 95% of those emails turn into a date. As a man I never see any difference between the emails a woman writes and what she writes on her profile. It almost never happens that I read her profile and then I think, well, in light of this email, I've decided that I was wrong about her after all and she's not worth a date. You barely gain any useful information about a person from an email anyway. Because that almost never happens, if I were a woman I would probably make 75 to maybe even 95% of my response emails turn into a date. However, that is not what is happening on online dating sites. It's more like I only meet 20% of the women that respond to my initial emails. I can't figure out what is going wrong because these second emails I am sending contain very little new information that is not already on my profile. Guys, are you having the same problem? Ladies, how often do you respond to a guy's initial email and then decide that you do not want to meet them after all. That's your problem! You have everything laid out on your profile, so when people do contact you there is nothing left to reveal. Change your profile to be a little less detailed so when you make contact there is something to learn and talk about.. Simple really.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 21, 2014 Posted November 21, 2014 Most guys fumble the ball during early communication. Some let the conversation trail off repeatedly, not doing their part to keep it going, not asking any questions or asking lame questions like "how r u". Some fail during planning the meetup. One guy I was going to meet lost my interest when he asked me to travel further to meet the first time. Some just can't spell or write a normal sentence and I can't decode their weird text-speak. In my experience so far, about 1 in 10 that I'm interested in are competent enough to escalate the communication to a meetup.
irc333 Posted November 21, 2014 Posted November 21, 2014 That's your problem! You have everything laid out on your profile, so when people do contact you there is nothing left to reveal. Change your profile to be a little less detailed so when you make contact there is something to learn and talk about.. Simple really. Funny. Then if he trims it down, then it won't be enough lol
irc333 Posted November 21, 2014 Posted November 21, 2014 It's actually a mix of multi-generational types that stuck around here. Both working and living here as either a server, cashier, and for the white collar...clerical jobs. The other mix of those with nice teeth and at least a college education work in the big city 1 hour away. I would ask some "Why not live in the city?" They tell its due to the piece and quiet and other pleasurable qualities of a small city. They just dont loke the city. Then there are those types that live here, but have a I'm too good to acquire a social life in a small town., so they spend their social lives in the city My area is gradually growing though as the city is somehow trickling into this area. Just curious, but from the way you describe it, your area doesn't sound like a place anyone would want to relocate to. What brings new blood in? Job opportunities? Lower cost of living? Scenery? Peace and quiet? Granted, some enjoy and seek out the type of town you describe, I'm sure. If I'd moved with my parents in '86 when they retired, I'd be one of them. Working at the ole factory, and farming on the side. I'd still be persnickety about my teeth tho.
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