thefilmguy24 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I have a situation that I may need some advice on. In my profile, you can read on my somewhat infidelity experience with my GF, which I may or may not know if she did cheat on me. Since then, my GF and I have been doing pretty well. Our sex life has been ignited once again after almost 2 years of nothing. Our sex life isn’t as frequent as I’d like. I don’t want to sound like I’m settling with what I’ll get, but I’ll take what I can get. We have sex about once a month on a monthly weekend getaway that we try to keep. The reason why only once a month is because we live with her parents and our daughter sleeps in the same room with us as there is no more separate bedrooms on the house. I know it’s an excuse, but there are a lot of people that live in the house(her family is Filipino so there’s a bunch of family in house). We are saving up for a place of our own. Now my situation begins after our belated anniversary getaway. I ended up going to a gentleman’s club because I was bored, a little horny and wanted to see some naked girls. I ended up meeting a girl there and found out that she was new. She was very sexy and nice. She didn’t ask me for a dance like all the other girls, so I had to take the initiative and I asked her if I could get a dance from her. She did her thing and we ended up talking most of the time. I ended up finding out that she’s from the city I live in ( I work out of town) and we had a lot in common. I’m probably going to get a lot of flack from this, but she wasn’t the typical stripper. She didn’t want my money. She gave me a lot of dances for free which easily could of added up to $400. She also kept rubbing my “manhood” the whole time and kept telling me that she wanted to take me home and rock my world. I did tell her I had a GF and a daughter since she asked me. Now I almost went home with her that night but I was unable to since by the time she was getting off, I was talking with another dancer and I guess she was waiting for me and I missed her. I didn’t get the number. I really wanted to take this girl home and bang her. But here’s my problem. I’m not sure if I’m willing to risk everything that I have with my GF for a night with a young, hot an sexy woman. I’ve been thinking of going back to get her number and try and seal the deal but I’m not sure as to how I will deal with the decision. On the other hand, I feel entitled due to my GF doing the same thing to me. To update my GF situation, she did tell me in a crying drunken state last year that she regretted doing something in the Philippines and left it at that even when I tried to pry it out of her. So now I’m conflicted as I know that if I go back and see this other girl, I know that I would be able to seal the deal as I know that she wanted me. I know I’m thinking with my “small head” here and I know that it’s wrong for me to think like this and I know what I should do, but I need some advice on someone who either has had a revenge affair or contemplated doing it. How did you deal with it? How did you deal with the guilt and consequences? Please I need some advice. Thank you for reading and for the advice in advance.
HereNorThere Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Worst idea ever. First off, don't be that guy that thinks "this stripper is different." She's not, she sells her body for money, period. This chick is surrounded by horny dudes paying her for sex acts all day, erry day. This will not end well for you. Plus, do you really want the circle of abuse to continue? You'll be no better than your gf if you do it and I promise you, once you do it, you'll just feel dirty and messed up inside. And you might end up with some scary penis disease. Worst idea ever, bro. She get paid to manipulate men. A lot of women do it for fun, but this one made a career out of it. Cheating with a stripper, really? Ughhh, you're better than that. I think?
whichwayisup Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I’m not sure if I’m willing to risk everything that I have with my GF for a night with a young, hot an sexy woman. I’ve been thinking of going back to get her number and try and seal the deal but I’m not sure as to how I will deal with the decision. On the other hand, I feel entitled due to my GF doing the same thing to me. It comes down to this. If you feel having hot sex with that girl IS worth throwing away your family unit as one, life as you know it now, then take that chance. Be 'that' guy who cheats because he feels entitled to, have that revenge sex. Or, be the man your daughter can be proud of. Be the husband you're supposed to be. Be the family man, stop going to gentleman's clubs and putting yourself in situations where you're tempted. Focus on your family. Focus on dating your wife, getting the parents to babysit so you two can go out as a couple. Get a babysitter too, that way you can have rent a hotel room and have sex since it's hard to have intimacy where you are now in the house. DO NOT cheat on your wife and betray your family unit as one.
Man Mountain Makino Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 First, I don't think this would be a good idea. Second, usually you have to strike while the iron is hot. Don't flatter yoursek, I suspect that the stripper opportunity opened and closed that night.
BetrayedH Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I had a revenge affair. It was a big mistake. Fix your relationship or leave it.
No Limit Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Read your other thread and sorry, but I'm betting a million dollars and my beagle that she cheated. So that's that. Now, that doesn't give you a free pass to cheat. By staying with her you accept it and swallow what happened. A relationship isn't a tournament, and there's no "getting equal" when it comes to cheating.
Author thefilmguy24 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 I appreciate the responses so far. I have brought up the idea to my GF to have at least a date night every other weekend that we don’t have a monthly getaway planned. Here’s the thing with her, she doesn’t really like to talk about sex or anything private because she’s a private person. She will only talk about sex when we’re about to do it and will tell me what she wants me to do. At times, it’s just me doing all the work and she won’t do things to please me even I though I do things to please her because I love to do it and I know it gets her off. She will do oral on me but I think it’s because she’s guilty or is pressured by me because I ask her to do it. I don’t want her to feel guilty or pressured. I would like her to do it because she wants to. I know with this other girl, it’s not going to be an issue. I’ve tried talking to my GF but she is so closed off which frustrates me. I don’t like to sweep things under the rug or just let things bottle up. I bottle things up and they do tend to boil over. I love my GF to death and there is nothing more than to be a family unit with her. Maybe it’s me being selfish, but I feel like I’m entitled to do this or look for another girl to sleep with because of what my GF put me through last year. If I have an opportunity, I feel like I should take it, but I know it’s wrong. I don’t think my GF will go to a counselor because she is a very private person. I’m just conflicted.
Author thefilmguy24 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 Read your other thread and sorry, but I'm betting a million dollars and my beagle that she cheated. So that's that. Now, that doesn't give you a free pass to cheat. By staying with her you accept it and swallow what happened. A relationship isn't a tournament, and there's no "getting equal" when it comes to cheating. I know a relationship is not a tournament and that’s why I feel conflicted on doing this or not. I know that it’s wrong but I feel in a way that I want to do this. I’m not sure I’m going to. I have forgiven her but not to her face because she does not know what I know and basically I think I kind of rug swept it instead of hitting it straight on even though I did have a talk with her after she got back to let her know where I stand on her talking with other guys and also where I stand on cheating because of what my mom did to my dad. I don’t know if my situation is just an infatuation and just an emotional thing but there was and I believe there still is a physical attraction. I know I’m playing with a nuclear bomb.
jm2013 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I appreciate the responses so far. I have brought up the idea to my GF to have at least a date night every other weekend that we don’t have a monthly getaway planned. Here’s the thing with her, she doesn’t really like to talk about sex or anything private because she’s a private person. She will only talk about sex when we’re about to do it and will tell me what she wants me to do. At times, it’s just me doing all the work and she won’t do things to please me even I though I do things to please her because I love to do it and I know it gets her off. She will do oral on me but I think it’s because she’s guilty or is pressured by me because I ask her to do it. I don’t want her to feel guilty or pressured. I would like her to do it because she wants to. I know with this other girl, it’s not going to be an issue. I’ve tried talking to my GF but she is so closed off which frustrates me. I don’t like to sweep things under the rug or just let things bottle up. I bottle things up and they do tend to boil over. I love my GF to death and there is nothing more than to be a family unit with her. Maybe it’s me being selfish, but I feel like I’m entitled to do this or look for another girl to sleep with because of what my GF put me through last year. If I have an opportunity, I feel like I should take it, but I know it’s wrong. I don’t think my GF will go to a counselor because she is a very private person. I’m just conflicted. If you're looking for an experience that will sweep all those feelings away and make you feel even you're wrong. You're just going to open up another can of worms. Not to mention it's a stripper. She's probably banged hundreds of men. Even without the girlfriend I'd advise against this even if you were single. You could potentially catch something that will never go away until you die. Then where are you going to go for sex? You confess that you deeply love your wife. Why don't you open up to her and tell her how you feel and see if she will hear you out.
CarrieT Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Just break-up with your girlfriend once and for all. You are making all sorts of excuses to talk yourself into something that you know will destroy the relationship, so why not just end it and move on?
SawtoothMars Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I know a relationship is not a tournament and that’s why I feel conflicted on doing this or not. I know that it’s wrong but I feel in a way that I want to do this. I’m not sure I’m going to. I have forgiven her but not to her face because she does not know what I know and basically I think I kind of rug swept it instead of hitting it straight on even though I did have a talk with her after she got back to let her know where I stand on her talking with other guys and also where I stand on cheating because of what my mom did to my dad. I don’t know if my situation is just an infatuation and just an emotional thing but there was and I believe there still is a physical attraction. I know I’m playing with a nuclear bomb. Um... my advice is that I personally consider it unwise to start believing that the strippers actually like you! Yeah... she might have given you some free lapdances and waited for you, but it's also just as likely that she does some prostitution on the side and was hoping for a new customer. Maybe you should have a long, long chat with your GF about the direction of your relationship.
Mr. Lucky Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 So now I’m conflicted as I know that if I go back and see this other girl, I know that I would be able to seal the deal as I know that she wanted me. I know I’m thinking with my “small head” here and I know that it’s wrong for me to think like this and I know what I should do, but I need some advice on someone who either has had a revenge affair or contemplated doing it. How did you deal with it? How did you deal with the guilt and consequences? Someone in a healthy, functioning relationship doesn't ask these questions. So the answer isn't "yes or no", but "why"... Mr. Lucky
TrustedthenBusted Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Sleeping with a stripper? What could possibly go wrong? 2
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