Leigh 87 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I have a friend that I have known for four years... He went off the rails a bit and has done some bad things in his life. We had a falling out as we were both in bad places in our lives. We lost contact for two years or so. Well, we caught up again and he seems to have changed; he has a 200K a year job, a career, he is trying to clean up his act and he is not into ONS, he is after wife material/ long term commitment. He is good looking (tall, fitness freak, goddess body and very attractive face...). I am certainly very attracted to him! He said to me couple of days ago: " Leigh, I think we have so much in common.. I think you are hot, you think I am hot, I have always had a spark with you but you had Andrew for years" He hung out with me and my ex a lot. He said it always bugged him that my ex didn't treat me as well as I deserved. I have agreed to give it a shot - just very very slowly.... Anyone else dated a friend of 4 or more years, a friend who was once not the nicest of people? I really couldn't care less if I were to be in a relationship and was planning on staying single for a good while.... and so I have nothing to lose if it fails miserably lol.. Pros: -we did have a spark but I had a bf when I met him so I always put him in the friendzone - I find him veryyyy attractive and we are about the same level look wise - he is into fitness and I am also into walking and I am really enjoying finding opportunities to exercise more and be more active - it would be great to have him as a person to get fit with and to encourage a healthy lifestyle - he is financially taken care of: his dad is a CEO on millions per year, his dad can get him high paid jobs and for that matter, can get me jobs if I am willing to work hard (although he had to work hard for it to prove himself and I am going to do college and get my own career...), his last job was 200K which is the job he will go back to - I will get distance I crave; he works in the mines so I will have ample time to myself which I have always wanted in my relationships - time alone for weeks. My parents left to live overseas when I was a child so I tend to prefer to be alone for periods even when I am in a relationship.... - he is fit and active and loves nothing more than to spend his time walking on the beach and at the gym; we would spend a lot of time on walks and doing active things which is ideal for me. CONS - he was once a very questionable person. - my dad doesn't like him - and rightly so, he wasn't the nicest person at one stage. - umm my dad caught him naked on my balcony with my friend ( my ex and I, plus this guy went out and he picked up a girl and took her to my flat) Biggest con: I don't really want a relationship - I mean, I have been really enjoying being single and was planning on continuing to do so. I am willing to give it a date and to make out with him to see if I feel enough fireworks. Sometimes when you already have a boyfriend at the time, it is hard to measure whether or not you have a natural wow factor with a person... After all; it is super hard to actually find someone who ticks all the boxes.. who is loyal and loving, who wants a long term relationship and yet who you also have chemistry and excitement with. Any thoughts or advice?
d0nnivain Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Because you have said you don't want to be in a relationship do not try to casually date your friend. Based on the friendship, he's going to want the whole deal not something casual. If you aren't ready to go back into a commitment, you risk losing the friendship. Is it worth it? 1
Art_Critic Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Because you have said you don't want to be in a relationship do not try to casually date your friend. Based on the friendship, he's going to want the whole deal not something casual. If you aren't ready to go back into a commitment, you risk losing the friendship. Is it worth it? I agree.. and I also noticed that the money came up more than once in the short post, what he makes and his dad's money are not guarantees to what kind of relationship you will have with him. Money can come and go with the snap of a finger so try not to base your future on what a guy makes.
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 I would have no problem committing to the right person. I don't want kids and I don't have a time line... which means I can hold out and search for that elusive spark AND with a loyal and worthy guy.... I think we do have something and always have. It caught me off guard him wanting to date me..... We always had the comfort factor...we make each othet laugh which most guys can't succeed at with me.. we can hang out easily.. I am hedging a bet that I will likely remain single and happy but I do feel that there is a small chance that things could work with us.
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 I agree.. and I also noticed that the money came up more than once in the short post, what he makes and his dad's money are not guarantees to what kind of relationship you will have with him. Money can come and go with the snap of a finger so try not to base your future on what a guy makes. I meant that it's a huge plus when a guy can take you to dinner and do nice things for you. I am not a gold digger I have turned down rich guys and did so just the other day as a matter of fact....
d0nnivain Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Don't do it now. Even if there is a small chance you could work, you are not in that mindset right now. Tell him you are flattered but you don't want him to be a rebound & for now you are looking forward to exploring being single & unattached. Revisit the issue in 6+ months.
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