Jason808 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 So I've been on like 4 dates with this cute fun girl, we agreed to go on our fifth last monday but on monday morning she suddenly says that she doesn't want to meet up.. her reason I just couldn't believe.. She always used to be a party girl and she NEVER had a real relationship, she tends to hook up with guys alot but I decided that I could give it a try. So after date four she said that I was special because she never goes on four dates with anyone, I made sure we were on the same page (heading into getting in a relationship) by asking her, and we were on the same page. We agreed to meet up again next monday, so in the weekend we both went out in our city with our friends. We talked, made out, held hands, hugged.. everything was great.. then Sunday she must have suddenly changed her mind because monday morning (date day) she said she didn't want to meet up.. this conversation followed: Her: I don't feel like meeting up Me: Oh is there something wrong? Her: I've been thinking.. Me: Oh so.. you don't like me? Her: I do like you alot but I'm already thinking of cheating.. and I don't think I want to get in a relationship feeling like this Me: Well you've never had a relationship before and I can understand that you need to get used about the fact that you can't make out with anyone anymore but I think if you really like someone that shouldn't be a problem. Well at this point I was just shocked.. everything went great and Saturday we even made out, hugged etc. I mean I even asked her a week before what she wanted!! Yesterday we almost got in a fight because I've been talking about this with friends and I didn't believe this was the reason.. well she said that she had been fair with me the whole time from the beginning, when I met her (this is true accatually) and I asked her if she was sure that there wasn't anything else going on but she said no. I said that if she didn't want a relationship or if we were taking things to fast she could just tell me.. but that wasn't it either. After that she told me she needed time to think.. I told her to contact me in a few days after she have had time to think but I'll doubt she will.. So to me it looks like this: She says she likes me, but is afraid of cheating me and thuss doesn't want a relationship.. but a relationship is not the problem. My opinion is that she got scared somewhere because she never had a relationship, and I do believe she likes me but maybe she just thinks she can't do all the obligations that a relationship brings with you.. Anyway, I'm really interested in other opinions, I know it's a long story but I can't get this out of my head..
ExpatInItaly Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I think you're not her only option. She's telling you she won't remain faithful. Listen to her and get out now. 4
CatalystNX Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Sounds like she's got someone else in mind to "cheat" with.
Author Jason808 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 Sounds like she's got someone else in mind to "cheat" with. I don't think she has anyone really "in mind" she even said that it might not even happen but that she just doesn't want to get in a relationship when she feels like this.. So I proposed we don't get in a relationship and just keep talking and meeting but I guess that was no option either.
CatalystNX Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I mean, that's an odd thing to say out of the blue like that is all I'm saying. 1
Author Jason808 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 I think you're not her only option. She's telling you she won't remain faithful. Listen to her and get out now. I know she is good looking and ofcourse I'm not her only option but I asked her multiple times if there was something else.. just tell me, if you don't like me it's fine but just tell me. She keeps saying that is not it.. I even proposed we don't get in a relationship and just talk and meet wit no obligations, maybe she'd change her mind eventually when she felt ready.. but that was no option either. I really don't get girls anymore..
Author Jason808 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 I mean, that's an odd thing to say out of the blue like that is all I'm saying. Yeah I know.. It's not weird that I'm having doubts about this right? I mean I'm straight up.. as long as you're fair to me I don't really care about it, but she keeps insisting this is the reason.. she even almost got mad at me for asking. But if she doesn't want a relationship and she likes me.. why can't we meet and hang out anymore, no obligations whatsoever.. and if the time is right maybe we can try then.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Since you don't seem to be getting it, let me spell it out for you: SHE'S A HOE!!! Jesus H. Christ, what on earth does this girl have to say or do to convince you that she is someone who likes to sleep around and therefore unable to be in a committed relationship?!? Whether she likes you or not is totally beside the point. The fact of the matter is, she likes to get around more than anything. Now she may like you as a person well enough but clearly she doesn't like you so much that she's willing to forgo the option of having random sexual encounters. She's "fun to be around" because she's - as my grandfather and WWII vet used to say - a 'good time girl.' If you want to try and have sex with this girl then fine, but she IS NOT relationship material. AT ALL! This girl isn't "scared" of a serious relationship, she simply doesn't want one because it would spoil her fun. Get that through your head for god's sake. 4
Author Jason808 Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 Since you don't seem to be getting it, let me spell it out for you: SHE'S A HOE!!! Jesus H. Christ, what on earth does this girl have to say or do to convince you that she is someone who likes to sleep around and therefore unable to be in a committed relationship?!? Whether she likes you or not is totally beside the point. The fact of the matter is, she likes to get around more than anything. Now she may like you as a person well enough but clearly she doesn't like you so much that she's willing to forgo the option of having random sexual encounters. She's "fun to be around" because she's - as my grandfather and WWII vet used to say - a 'good time girl.' If you want to try and have sex with this girl then fine, but she IS NOT relationship material. AT ALL! This girl isn't "scared" of a serious relationship, she simply doesn't want one because it would spoil her fun. Get that through your head for god's sake. I agree with alot you're saying, believe me or not, although I would not call her a hoe but rather an easy girl.. she doesn't sleep around, with hooking up I mean making out, she never made it a secret that her list of guys she made out with is big.. and my list is big too, so that doesn't bother me. Okay you basically tell me what I was thinking, she doesn't want a relationship because she doesn't want her fun spoiled.. I thought this was the reason too, wich is fine by me.. BUT I asked her multiple times and she keeps telling me that is not the reason.. I literally said: "I don't care what reason you have as long as you are honest with me". So she has no reason not to tell me the truth and honestly, she was honest with me the entire time, everything I asked (even things I knew) she would tell me without any problems, so I guess it could be a legitimate reason.. But yeah, I agree with you on most part.
Toodaloo Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Oh Jason... You have fallen into the pedestal trap. You have put her up there and she is saying hold up I want off... Re-read the BOLD bit of LH's post... This is not weird its simple. She wants to be free to shag around. She doesn't want to be hooked up to one guy and your a bit desperate to be happy for her to play around in front of your face. You need to stop ruminating about this and go find someone a bit more suited to you. Its four dates - no great shakes. C'est la vie and all that. One "woman" is not "women" in general. You found a bad cookie. Chuck it out and find a better one. 1
scorpiogirl Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Why is this girl a "hoe"? If she's not ready to be in a relationship and she's pretty much told the OP, why is she being called names? She didn't lie. She didn't cheat. Should she have continued seeing him and then actually cheated? It sounds as though she has commitment issues but she's not leading him on. Don't wait for her. Don't offer her something less than what you actually want because you hope she changes her mind about you. . You two want different things and that's ok. Forget about her so you can find someone who's at the same place that you are. 1
random33 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 It seems pretty obvious that she is not ready for a commited relantionship. I think she had a great attitude in being upfront and honest about her feelings. You have 2 choices, or you move on and find another women with the same desire to have a commited relantionship as you, or you continue do date her fully aware that you are not exclusive.
WomenWubber Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 If you're not concerned about her wanting to **** other men, then just make sure to wear a condom everytime you do her and get checked regularly for STDs/STIs.
Brooke02 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Why would you even want someone who is that easy & gets around? That's gross. Go out and find yourself a nice girl who actually wants to be with you & not the whole town. Take off the rose colored glasses and move on, you deserve better. 1
MercuryMorrison1 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Man you're lucky... I mean she flat out told you she's probably going to cheat, that woulda been a nice luxury to have had with one of my ex's that cheated on me lol. But seriously dude...She's telling you this for a reason...it's up to you if you heed the advice given to you here...But if you try to continue a relationship with her and get hurt, at this point you'll have no one to blame but yourself. You have been warned.
J21 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 lol she made it so easy for you on what you should do. If you have any sense of self worth, leave her and move on with your life.
mammasita Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Ugh why are you bugging her with the questions???? She's obviously not into you enough....she likes you, but not enough. Leave her be.
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