WidowmakerM98 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I am really at a loss on how she feels about me. background: we met from an online site, she contacted me first. the same day she met someone and they ended up in a relationship, this while her and i were just talking and getting to know each other. after about a month of just talking we finally meet and we start seeing each other, we never had sex and only kissed a couple of times. we discover that we have a lot in common and similar values, and we end up becoming very close. she ends up getting really sick and in the hospital, then goes on a trip with her boyfriend for a week. apparently they fight a lot and it has nothing to do with anything other than control issues. they come back from the trip and her and i go out to a pretty major sporting event, he accuses her of having sex with me (which she didn't) and breaks up with her. she isnt very touchy feely with me alot during this time, but we do hold hands occasionally when we go out or she rests her head on my chest or shoulder at the movies that was about 2 weeks ago. she told me that she doesn't want to rush into anything, and I am ok with that, however she cares very deeply for me and she tells me that she knows i love her. we still go out fairly regularly and sometimes she is affectionate, sometimes she is not. she still talks to others on the dating site as well. she makes it a point to text me every single day throughout all of this time and we have very long conversations in person and via text. i know she has fears of being abandoned, she is afraid of getting involved with someone and falling in love i end up in the hospital due to a severe health issue this weekend, where i find out that it would have been a lot worse had i not gone in. the next day after i am discharged, she spends the day with me and we finally have sex. after reflecting on everything i want to tell her that i love her, but she says dont say it, i already know and i have known for a long time, but i dont want things to get weird between us. so i dont. but i tell her that my feelings are not contingent on her feeling the same way about me, or even her saying it back, that i just wanted her to know how I felt in case something happened to me and I never had the chance to tell her again. she knows i am still very sick, and she told me i should take more time off work, and she is worried about me if i push myself too fast....on the way home she got affectionate again and wanted to hold my hand while we were driving back to drop her off. I am wondering what i need to do. I dont really initiate texts or calls with her that often and I fully support her hanging out with her friends, even her guy friends and I am not jealous in the least. I just hope that I haven't caused her to want to push away. I am at a loss as to how she feels. I know she cares a lot, and I know she worries a lot, but I dont know if she even thinks of me as a romantic interest or if she is afraid of her emotions
Strength in Healing Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 You're being used my friend. You deserve better.
CarrieT Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I am at a loss as to how she feels. I know she cares a lot, and I know she worries a lot, but I dont know if she even thinks of me as a romantic interest or if she is afraid of her emotions It doesn't matter what she feels. She has a boyfriend and you are something akin to a back-up. It doesn't matter if she is afraid or not. If she wanted to be with you, she would. The fact that she is cheating with you should be enough warning. If she will cheat WITH you, she will cheat ON you. Cut the cord and move on. You deserve better than this. 1
LostOnes05 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 CarrieT is definitely right...gee, I wonder why her boyfriend was paranoid that she was cheating, when she was only talking to another guy and kissing him too? C'mon man!! If my girlfriend was kissing another guy, we are done! That's not a control issue, that's a cheating issue. Only date someone that is physically, mentally, and emotionally ready for a relationship. Doing otherwise is just a waste of your time. 1
Gloria25 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Too much, too soon, tooooooooo Too much drama here....
ExpatInItaly Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Sorry OP, but this woman is clearly using you as her Plan B until someone she likes more comes along. She'll be gone when that happens. Don't invest any more effort in her because she doesn't feel the same way you do. She likes the attention and ego-boost but she's not into you the way you are into her. Also, the fact that she was flirting and kissing you while she was still with her boyfriend speaks to her character. She's not trustworthy, and therefore, not girlfriend material. 1
Recommended Posts