MPDuluth Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 A little over 2 months ago my relationship ended. She ended it bc she was grieving the loss of her brother. I pleaded for her to stay. This pushed her away further. After fighting for a few days and beating it to death we stopped talking. After 2 weeks of NC she emailed me. She wanted to share stories about how she feels her brothers presence. We didnt talk about ourselves. I told her I was happy to hear about those things and wished her well. A couple days later, I emailed her. I told her I miss her. She said she misses me, too. She said she is sorry for hurting me. Then, she said "I love you"!!!!! I said i love you too. A couple days after that, I emailed her again. I asked her if she was happier without me and she said that was "hard to answer. In some ways" We spent an hour talking about our relationship. She told me this: "Though* I'm still torn some days... I will have moments were I really miss you and want back everything that we had. *I miss being cherished. *I miss everything about how you made me feel. * Not having that/you- It's another grief process for me I guess." The gist of our talks came down to that, basically. We forgave each other for how we behaved during the breakup and she explained her feelings at the time. She said it couldnt work to keep the relationship bc she doesnt feel like herself after losing her brother. Today, I invited her to come over to my house sometime this week. I told her there is no pressure and no expectations and I would understand if she cant. She replied with: "Ok .... Yeah I'm not sure. But I will let you know if something works out. Thank you" Does she meet me? And if so, how should I handle it? *
cooki Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 It's a very hard situation for her, but if she really wants you, than she will accepted the invitation. (in present time) Give her time, she will respond to you. It's probably not the right moment for her yet. It's seems to me that she is sending mixed signals. She loves you, on the other end she doesn't want to meet with you ? Not sure if she is ready for a healthy relationship, meaning that you must also look for yourself, make yourself happy.
Author MPDuluth Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 Well its hard for her to meet me bc she has young children at home. So, her saying she isnt sure is more like saying "if i get free time and my mom can watch the kids"
Author MPDuluth Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 I think her saying "ok" is agreeing to meet me, but she just doesnt know if it will be able to work with our schedules right now
dumbass2 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I think her saying "ok" is agreeing to meet me, but she just doesnt know if it will be able to work with our schedules right now It sounds like she is being polite in her response. If she really wants to meet up with you, she will get back to you and she should give you specifics and not be vague. Getting back to you with a vague response would not be good, it would say she is still not sure. Do not do anything else right now. She knows what you want. If you pressure her, she will move further away from you. Take some time with this. This is from my recent experience with my ex and she eventually contacted me on her own.
Author MPDuluth Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 Good advice, thanks. I told her there was no pressure and no expectations. I said i was just offering. And that only happened bc I was getting a vibe from her that she might take me up on that so I made the move.
dumbass2 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Good advice, thanks. I told her there was no pressure and no expectations. I said i was just offering. And that only happened bc I was getting a vibe from her that she might take me up on that so I made the move. Please do not go off of "vibes" or "feelings". Make sure to make your decisions based off of actions. Solid, non-confusing actions. Tell yourself that if you receive something back from her that is giving you a mixed message, then there is a reason for that. She is still unsure. As hard as it is and trust me I now know better, look at actions over words and make sure the actions are clear before acting on them. If you mirror her in responses, example she is general in a response, then be general back. If she gets specific, then be specific back. This will make her not feel pressured. Let her initiate the next response. Do this and eventually, on her time frame, she will get back to you if she wants to. 1
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