So what exactly is considered the average man's dating and sexual history?

[JuneJulySeptember]

Average man:

 

-White

-5'9" (made him a little short, because he gets a little bit of an advantage over average for being white).

-Had sex by age 16 or so, but had been fooling around with women way earlier, and women have been attracted to him since early high school at least

-Has been hit on by women and even had a few in love with him (that he didn't want), but not a crazy amount. Getting hit on is not a regular occurrence, but it definitely happens.

-Has had/could have had ~10-15 partners by the time he gets married (some guys marry early and/or have no desire to do that)

[MissMoneyPenny]

Haha and I didn't break the law even if you did. I will say though that she never mentioned her age and she was drinking at a family party that I was also at so I assumed 18... Ok so that's not much better. Most would be ashamed I guess, secretly I'm proud since she did the chasing

 

You were under the legal age of 16 (UK) when you lost your virginity though..!

 

One of my ex's lost his virginity at 11 !

[Phoe]

I didn't intend it either... Oh and you don't seem like the average man from your picture

 

Haha, by the time I'd read the thread, I'd forgotten that the thread title referred to men. Whoops!

[Els]

My guess is that the 'average' will vary way too much across locations and cultures to be of any use.

 

I am 30 years old, and I'm not here to brag,

I didn't have much experience from high school to shag.

However, that all changed when I finally went to college,

I can only presume the damage I'd do now with all of my learned knowledge.

 

My partner count is high, I will admit that today,

As I said before, I'm not here to brag about that anyway.

I must have accumulated more than enough,

To realize later in life that I was kind of a manslut.

 

Strings of one night stands and flings galore,

catapulted my number to football game score.

It's certainly higher than even most women would admit,

but I still didn't get any meaningful relationships from it.

 

I've been shallow, I've been naive, and I used a lot of social tactics,

to improve upon my game and to one-up my own antics,

But as of late, I reminisce and wish I could turn back time,

To find a relationship that would make me sublime.

 

For those of you wondering, if I had to guess a realistic number,

It wouldn't be far fetched to say around 60, and not something under,

Mind you, I did not shoot for this number, it kind of happened as they say,

But if I could take it all back for 1 great relationship, i'd do it today.

 

Wow!!!! This is awesome stuff, dude. Seriously.

[Coe]

You were under the legal age of 16 (UK) when you lost your virginity though..!

 

One of my ex's lost his virginity at 11 !

 

Yes that's true. But that isn't a crime. Though technically speaking as she was also 14 that's against the law. But I would never get in trouble for it in a million years.

[lucy_in_disguise]

I feel like once you are in the category of people who don't think casual sex is inherently wrong, there can be a large variation in "number" just based on how long you have been single.

 

I'd say your sexual history is about average... for someone living in a largeish city, who is not very religious and has postponed marriage till a later age.

 

I'm in the same boat, and at 28 my number is approx. 15ish. My personal rule of thumb is: no more than one dude per menstrual cycle. I want to avoid being on the Maury show.

 

I lost my v-card at 18 to someone i dated through college. Then there were approx. 5 short relationships (<3 months) while I came to the conclusion that I should take a break from dating altogether. 2 years of celibacy followed, then 2 semi-serious relationships that weren't quite right until I met my most recent ex, with whom I stayed for 4 years.

 

Following our breakup I decided I wanted to experiment while I still had the opportunity, checking off such items as a one-night-stand, a threesome, and a 21-yr-old off my bucket list in quick succession. That's been fun, and I feel like I've actually learned a lot about what turns me on, tho I still prefer a relationship. I avoided these experiences in the past primarily to avoid being judged by potential future partners, but at this point, I recognize that I need someone non-judgemental and open-minded, so that no longer factors in to my decisions.

[random33]

I'm in my 30's and had 4 different partners, only one of those was casual, I don't expect the count to go up as I intend to stay in my current relantionship Lost my virginity at 16.

[Chemist]

Nine partners for me.

 

first three at 18. Fourth was 9 months relationship.

Fifth at 22, then the 6th was a 2 year relationship, 7th a five year,

then 8th and 9th were one night stands.

[PogoStick]

8 Seems like a common average number for lifetime partners. I feel that number will go up with younger generations.

 

I'm an above average outlier. I've been monogamous for as much as 6 years at a time. Several year or longer monogamous relationships too.

 

Then recently, I was with 4 girls over about an hour. That made me really tired so I took a break before going a round with the fifth girl. Then I took another break before going again with my "girlfriend" who was one of the first 4.

 

A night like that sure brings the number up quickly.

[soyou]

I'm 29 at this moment. I've been in 4 long term relationships (2x 3 years, 2x 1 year). Everytime I become single, I just go wild and stack up my numbers. So I've been with 31 people in total.

 

I guess my future and also last boyfriend will be my number 32.

 

However, through what I've read and leant here, if my future boyfriend ever asks how many guys i've been with, i'll say "5" :D

[braindamage]

Man, mid-late twenties, 1.

[EasyHeart]

If you're still counting, it's not enough.

[sillyanswer]

Personally I have always felt my partner count was average for my age...especially since I have friends who have counts a fair bit higher and lower. But then I read different forums online, and read different studies...and it appears a lot of guys dont even break 10 partners in their lifetime. Many apparently dont even get close to this.

 

Whatever the "average" really is it seems likely that there's also a huge standard deviation.

[Ducky71]

I'll risk giving an unpopular answer....

 

 

If you're a guy, only douchebags count. What's the point? Bragging rights? Puuhhlleeeese...

 

 

Obviously if a guy is young and or inexperienced, he can't help but know his number.

 

 

For those of us that are 'chronologically challenged', have been around the block, been single for long periods of time, pathological cheaters, swingers and such, the numbers will usually pile up.

 

 

I honestly have no idea what my number is, I've never felt the need to be tasteless enough to actually sit down and count how many women I've bedded.

 

 

The only one that counts is the last one.

[Xiang]

Reading these kind of topics get's me all sorts of depressed. Zero for me. Mid twenties.

 

As for the rest of the people i know, average 10 to 20 by this age ._. . I'm just slower...didn't even past the starting line.

[Frank2thepoint]

35 year old male here. I've had four serious relationships (so there was sexy time), had a few short flings and one night stands too throughout the years, so my partner count is between 10 and 15. I really didn't keep track of them. Never had a FWB. Wish I did, would gladly trade up the flings and ONS for FWB. I had my first sexual experience at the age of 6 in Austria, back in 1985. Performed oral and had received oral from a 12 year old Austrian girl at the time. Good times.

[ASG]

I am 30 years old, and I'm not here to brag,

I didn't have much experience from high school to shag.

However, that all changed when I finally went to college,

I can only presume the damage I'd do now with all of my learned knowledge.

 

My partner count is high, I will admit that today,

As I said before, I'm not here to brag about that anyway.

I must have accumulated more than enough,

To realize later in life that I was kind of a manslut.

 

Strings of one night stands and flings galore,

catapulted my number to football game score.

It's certainly higher than even most women would admit,

but I still didn't get any meaningful relationships from it.

 

I've been shallow, I've been naive, and I used a lot of social tactics,

to improve upon my game and to one-up my own antics,

But as of late, I reminisce and wish I could turn back time,

To find a relationship that would make me sublime.

 

For those of you wondering, if I had to guess a realistic number,

It wouldn't be far fetched to say around 60, and not something under,

Mind you, I did not shoot for this number, it kind of happened as they say,

But if I could take it all back for 1 great relationship, i'd do it today.

 

OMG I wish I could like this post 1000x!!! Best post ever! And I relate to it somewhat.

 

Yes that's true. But that isn't a crime. Though technically speaking as she was also 14 that's against the law. But I would never get in trouble for it in a million years.

 

Though is it really? If both people are the same age, I don't really think it applies... I think the age of consent is more about abuse f someone older pressuring the younger person into something they might not be ready for.

 

In any case, yeah, no one would get in trouble for it.

 

 

I am definitely above average on my count, especially for a girl. I am firmly in the mid double digits, at 31.

[viccanadian]

I wrote a post somewhat related to this exact issue. My # is only 5 and I am 31. I am married to an awesome woman but sometimes can't get over my low #, esp. when I see much lower quality men with higher #'s. I f****d up and stayed in a long term relationship from 18-25, then slept with 4 girls in 2 months. One of these girls is now my wife. Given my age, confidence, career, fitness level, and earning power, I could easily go wild if I was single and get my #'s super high. It's not hard esp. given the addition of internet these days. I was really hard when I was younger because I didn't have the social capital and confidence, but now it's a joke. Part of me wants to destroy the marriage to get my #'s up and get even with all those girls who rejected me at 18 but who now would easily let me in. Anyways, it's messed up.

[OwMyEyeball]

33

 

I think I'm at 7. Four were casual or ONS, one was an on-and-off again and two were partners.

 

I've known a lot of guys from many walks of life and had talks about this kind of stuff. From where I'm sitting there's no correlation between number of partners and life satisfaction. Some with really high numbers are doing great in life, some aren't. Some with really low numbers are doing great in life, some aren't. Where they're at in life tends to fluctuate as most lives do. Sh*t happens. Then love happens . Then sh*t. And so on. Sex is great but so are a whole lot of other things in life.

[OwMyEyeball]

I wrote a post somewhat related to this exact issue. My # is only 5 and I am 31. I am married to an awesome woman but sometimes can't get over my low #, esp. when I see much lower quality men with higher #'s. I f****d up and stayed in a long term relationship from 18-25, then slept with 4 girls in 2 months. One of these girls is now my wife. Given my age, confidence, career, fitness level, and earning power, I could easily go wild if I was single and get my #'s super high. It's not hard esp. given the addition of internet these days. I was really hard when I was younger because I didn't have the social capital and confidence, but now it's a joke. Part of me wants to destroy the marriage to get my #'s up and get even with all those girls who rejected me at 18 but who now would easily let me in. Anyways, it's messed up.

You really need to set yourself up with a psychotherapist or some kind of counseling to get at the root of your obsession. Until you address the insecurity surrounding your sexual past you run a serious risk of destroying a lot of what you've worked hard to build and the woman you claim to love., Unfortunately for many, it's not until the damage is done that they finally open their eyes to the folly of their ways.

 

The only men who care about your number count are yourself and other men so ego-bound that they believe the number of women they've banged somehow validates their worth. It's when a man falls into a life that betrays his true self that he so desperately reaches for any accolade or accomplishment to fill the bottomless pit of his starving soul.

[kaylan]

I'm 29 at this moment. I've been in 4 long term relationships (2x 3 years, 2x 1 year). Everytime I become single, I just go wild and stack up my numbers. So I've been with 31 people in total.

 

I guess my future and also last boyfriend will be my number 32.

 

However, through what I've read and leant here, if my future boyfriend ever asks how many guys i've been with, i'll say "5" :D

 

I feel bad for that guy. Who wants to date someone who is dishonest? And why would you want to be with someone who couldnt accept you for who you really are? I wouldnt want to pretend to be the man Im not just to get someone to commit to me.

 

Good thing there's a lot of easy ways to sniff out a dishonest or woman with an unsavory past. Directly asking someone their partner count is not the only way to find out things about someone.

[emmalynro]

I wrote a post somewhat related to this exact issue. My # is only 5 and I am 31. I am married to an awesome woman but sometimes can't get over my low #, esp. when I see much lower quality men with higher #'s. I f****d up and stayed in a long term relationship from 18-25, then slept with 4 girls in 2 months. One of these girls is now my wife. Given my age, confidence, career, fitness level, and earning power, I could easily go wild if I was single and get my #'s super high. It's not hard esp. given the addition of internet these days. I was really hard when I was younger because I didn't have the social capital and confidence, but now it's a joke. Part of me wants to destroy the marriage to get my #'s up and get even with all those girls who rejected me at 18 but who now would easily let me in. Anyways, it's messed up.

 

And the coveted "Most Terrifying Post of the Day" goes to...

[kaylan]

I'll risk giving an unpopular answer....

 

 

If you're a guy, only douchebags count. What's the point? Bragging rights? Puuhhlleeeese...

 

 

Obviously if a guy is young and or inexperienced, he can't help but know his number.

 

 

For those of us that are 'chronologically challenged', have been around the block, been single for long periods of time, pathological cheaters, swingers and such, the numbers will usually pile up.

 

 

I honestly have no idea what my number is, I've never felt the need to be tasteless enough to actually sit down and count how many women I've bedded.

 

 

The only one that counts is the last one.

Grow up a little. Douchebags keep track of their sexual history? Get the hell over yourself. Funny how you call counting tasteless...but then talk about how numbers pile up for the promiscuous, swingers, cheaters and liars. Ill take counting my rather low or average number...over falling into those groups you mentioned where numbers simply pile on top of one another. And you call the former tasteless? Lololol

 

Realize that some people like to keep good track of who they risk their sexual health and pregnancy with.

Edited November 21, 2014 by kaylan

[kaylan]

I wrote a post somewhat related to this exact issue. My # is only 5 and I am 31. I am married to an awesome woman but sometimes can't get over my low #, esp. when I see much lower quality men with higher #'s. I f****d up and stayed in a long term relationship from 18-25, then slept with 4 girls in 2 months. One of these girls is now my wife. Given my age, confidence, career, fitness level, and earning power, I could easily go wild if I was single and get my #'s super high. It's not hard esp. given the addition of internet these days. I was really hard when I was younger because I didn't have the social capital and confidence, but now it's a joke. Part of me wants to destroy the marriage to get my #'s up and get even with all those girls who rejected me at 18 but who now would easily let me in. Anyways, it's messed up.

Its a fleeting thrill.

 

Through my flings and experiments and whatever else...nothing beats making love to a woman that just "gets" you. To be intimate with a woman who truly cares about me, and understands me....nothing beats that.

 

Dont be one of those people who fvks up and has to later say "you never realize what you have until its gone.

[carhill]

Though I'm older than the statistical model utilized, the number would have been the same at 44; the statistical model generates 5.1 as the median number of lifetime partners for a male in the 15-44 age range

 

http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr036.pdf

 

Surprisingly, even though I got a woefully late start, my experience matches the median, 5.1, pretty well.

 

As far as dating history, IDK if there are any concrete numbers for that. If the numbers are related to number of sexual partners per dating partners, I'd perform towards the low end of the scale, meaning I dated a lot of women versus the number of sexual partners I had, since all of mine were in established relationships or while married.

 

If the CDC's numbers are skewed low, which was my first reaction, that would fly in the face of the conventional wisdom of men usually bragging about their sexual 'conquests'. Hard to know.