Why is it when im distant and when I dont initiate contact he keeps contacting me?

[walkingonair]

So I've been dating this guy for 4 months and recently he stopped initiating contact and would sorta ignore me and wouldn't even ask me out. So yestetday i stopped initiating contact and stopped liking all his fb and instagram posts. Now he's pretty much initiating contact every hour. why is that? Should. i continue not initiating and not liking his fb stuff ao he could at least do some work and show me if he actually cares for me because im tired of chasing ((

[Lernaean_Hydra]

This is just a case of wanting what you (think you) can't have. When you like his posts or text him he gets validated, he knows he's on your mind and has your interest. When you stop doing those things there's a void, he worries he no longer has your attention, maybe that you've found someone else to focus on, so he then initiates contact to keep the ball rolling. I can't see how you've been "dating" for four months and are still having to engage in this kind of wishy-washy behavior.

 

Of course you should stop initiating however you should stop also putting so much stock into him or over-thinking what it means when he contacts you first. If he "sorta ignores you" then he's not really all that interested now is he? I understand guys liking the chase but it isn't supposed to last forever. Good god, part of the thrill of the chase is the CATCH, and he's making no real effort (nor seems to have any real interest) to catch you.

[Ashley S]

I know! That happens to me all the time. I am trying to ignore the guy and he keeps coming back and trying to reconcile, and I just want to move on. I feel you on that. However, I wouldn't give in to his calls, and I would just let him keep making a fool out of himself. Keep doing what you are doing, and let him keep doing what he's doing. He liked the fact that you chased him and now that you are ignoring him, his ego is hurt, and he is playing games with you now. I know it's hard because this happens to me all the time. As of right now it's happening to me! I even made a post about it. All I can say to you is let him keep making a fool out of himself. If you felt that you two weren't compatible, then don't force it. That is what I did, and it just made things worse So please do not force anything, and just keeping being strong. Hope everything works out

[walkingonair]

I know! That happens to me all the time. I am trying to ignore the guy and he keeps coming back and trying to reconcile, and I just want to move on. I feel you on that. However, I wouldn't give in to his calls, and I would just let him keep making a fool out of himself. Keep doing what you are doing, and let him keep doing what he's doing. He liked the fact that you chased him and now that you are ignoring him, his ego is hurt, and he is playing games with you now. I know it's hard because this happens to me all the time. As of right now it's happening to me! I even made a post about it. All I can say to you is let him keep making a fool out of himself. If you felt that you two weren't compatible, then don't force it. That is what I did, and it just made things worse So please do not force anything, and just keeping being strong. Hope everything works out

 

 

Thank you for all your feedback girls!

 

 

Ashley yea it's so unfair that they only want us when we don't give them attention cause it becomes a game I really like the guy that I'm dating.He would always initiate contact in the past and then suddenly he'd go a day without responding to my texts and kept telling me he was too busy and I know that's just an excuse.I always liked his fb posts and gave him tons of attention so he knew he had me.But two days ago I just stopped initiating and now he initiates and asks questions and acts like he's so interested and I do respond but my responses are short and i don't show him that I'm upset or w.e just act all carefree.Do you think they chase when we back off because they actually like us and don't want to lose us or they just do it for their ego?