Firestarter1069 Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 I have a question about the No Contact rule when it comes to social media. I keep reading that you should delete any exes from your friends list. I've decided to take a different route to this by NOT deleting her from my list. I did this for my own good. It's actually keeping me off Facebook. She is extremely active on social media, so much so that it approaches a sickness. Sure I'm going to post something here and there on my page eventually about things I'm doing or have planned to do. I feel by not deleting her and showing her I've moved on with my life is therapy for me. At the beginning of our break up I was very mopey and I know she knows this. I've promised myself to not look at her page/posts which I haven't done for almost 2 weeks now. Also I'm not doing this to prove anything to her AT ALL, this is about me proving to myself that I can do it. In fact just the other day a friend of mine said, "wow, you are doing a great job with the facebook thing you said you were going to do". I just realized after typing this I never asked my question...duh. Does anyone else take the NC rule and add their own little twists to it, if they feel it will help them?
d0nnivain Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 If this gives you peace then it's what you should do. With the end of one relationship I couldn't go NC. It was too much of an abrupt change for me. The guy & I negotiated this deal where we gradually lessened our contact by phone. It worked much better for me then relationship's over, good bye, get out of my life. I don't advocate it for most people but it was what I needed at the time & he was nice enough to give it to me.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 I have a question about the No Contact rule when it comes to social media. I keep reading that you should delete any exes from your friends list. I've decided to take a different route to this by NOT deleting her from my list. I did this for my own good. It's actually keeping me off Facebook. She is extremely active on social media, so much so that it approaches a sickness. Sure I'm going to post something here and there on my page eventually about things I'm doing or have planned to do. I feel by not deleting her and showing her I've moved on with my life is therapy for me. At the beginning of our break up I was very mopey and I know she knows this. I've promised myself to not look at her page/posts which I haven't done for almost 2 weeks now. Also I'm not doing this to prove anything to her AT ALL, this is about me proving to myself that I can do it. In fact just the other day a friend of mine said, "wow, you are doing a great job with the facebook thing you said you were going to do". I just realized after typing this I never asked my question...duh. Does anyone else take the NC rule and add their own little twists to it, if they feel it will help them? I think as long as you keep the crucial tenets of No Contact -- no calling, no texting, no checking up on social media at all -- I think you should do what is most comfortable. For as much of a No Contact nazi as I tend to be on this site I never actually defriended or blocked my ex on Facebook. I did block her news feed for several months, which allowed me to be able to check Facebook without seeing her face or statuses pop up (not that she posts much anyway) and I was vigilant about not checking her profile. In most situations I probably would have done an all-out block, but at the time I felt that it might cause more drama and angst in my life than if I just blocked her feed, as she is the sister-in-law of my best friend. I was afraid that blocking could cause more stress in that circle than doing what I did, which was essentially blocking her without her knowing it. It worked out pretty well, but if a) I was weaker about checking her profile or b) she was tagged in pictures or statuses of our mutual friends I would have just gone with the full-out block and dealt with whatever blowback that would have resulted. Either way, as long as you stay completely out of contact, then whatever form of No Contact is more comfortable for you is the one you should do.
RedButton Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 I unfriended as soon as I could get to my PC, as well as any mutual friends. I figured that even if I just unfollowed there would be a time where I'd stumble upon her and it would upset me too much, or I'd be too tempted to comment. We didn't, however untag ourselves from pictures or delete any photos together, that's where I figured 'enough is enough'. I can live with the photos, but just so long as I can control it, there is no chance of logging in and seeing a post from her on the top of my news feed.
Author Firestarter1069 Posted November 18, 2014 Author Posted November 18, 2014 I've been thinking about my post here and decided that I'm just going to keep off facebook for the time being. Most of my time on facebook was playing games anyway which I've since lost interest in. Thanks for your responses. 1
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