X14Halo Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 I hear it time and time again when girls break up with guys...that they found him uninteresting and just plain boring. What makes a guy be this way and what steps can he take to break out of it?
anika99 Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 Most people love it when someone else shows a real interest in them. It's pretty hard to find someone boring when they are paying attention to you. I think when a woman breaks up with a man and says they were boring or uninteresting that a lot of the time it's because they actually felt ignored. A man who is good at listening and conversing with his gf and who is up to trying things that she suggests will never come across as boring.
Imported Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 Exact opposite of post #2 Well, not exact opposite, but damn near. 3
GemmaUK Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 My reasons for having found men boring were lack of his own interests and basically 'me' being his only interest. Too much in the way of texting/calls, always being totally available and not exercising his own choices. EG. Say I love street dance classes but for him it would be like sticking broken glass in his eye then I would much rather go with my friends to that street dance class than have him come along. Or, he wants to watch a game on TV but it holds no interest for me - I would rather he watch the game and I'll go do something else. 2
Frank2thepoint Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 What makes a guy be this way and what steps can he take to break out of it? The man needs to have his own hobbies, interests, and/or passions. There are some interests/hobbies that a man and a woman share together, which is very good, but it should not be all hobbies. Even I as a man would find a woman boring if all she ever wanted to do is what I want to do. For a man to break out of it he needs to stop being up his woman's ass. Revisit an old hobby or find something new to do, for himself. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 Guys that have a diverse life and many interests outside of a gf are always going to be more appealing...Its can sound counterintuitive, but it does apply....Always has... TFY 2
preraph Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 I agree that the man needs to have a passion or interests and stay physically active and busy and not be content to just sit around playing video games. Though I have fallen for a guy who didn't read, it's unlikely that could ever happen twice. A person must have curiosity about the world and like to absorb knowledge and have interesting things to talk about. Reading books gives a person dimension, history, puts the present into perspective. 1
Tayken Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 What makes a guy be this way and what steps can he take to break out of it? Easy as a Cucumber Sarnie really...... Steps to curb this behaviour, include but not limited to the following: 1. Get off your cellphone / tablet / computer. 2. If you are video game playing type...grow up. 3. chat face to face, at times without distractions (tv, radio, cellphone). Just you two, candles, cup of tea/coffee, fire place 4. go for walks/runs 5. cook together 6. spend the weekends doing chores together 7. come up with ideas for travel/road trips/activities 8. have your one interest/hobby that you both go off to do. 9. leave sticky notes around the house 10. spice up that relationship by living on the edge i.e. take the love making out of the bedroom e.g. kitchen, basement, staircase, the car, garage, elevator You get the gist...nobody will accuse you are being a lard if you can do some of these. 3
todreaminblue Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 I dont regard guys as entertainment for me not to be bored....i make my own fun......i think when people find others boring....its them that have no imagination..they need a guy to step outside the box..and entertain them.....that aint fair stuff.....ill make suggestions to have mutual entertainment...i havent been bored with a guy i have dated.....ever....deb
most_distant_galaxy Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 Easy as a Cucumber Sarnie really...... Steps to curb this behaviour, include but not limited to the following: 1. Get off your cellphone / tablet / computer. 2. If you are video game playing type...grow up. 3. chat face to face, at times without distractions (tv, radio, cellphone). Just you two, candles, cup of tea/coffee, fire place 4. go for walks/runs 5. cook together 6. spend the weekends doing chores together 7. come up with ideas for travel/road trips/activities 8. have your one interest/hobby that you both go off to do. 9. leave sticky notes around the house 10. spice up that relationship by living on the edge i.e. take the love making out of the bedroom e.g. kitchen, basement, staircase, the car, garage, elevator You get the gist...nobody will accuse you are being a lard if you can do some of these. I love this list. Simple and yet wonderful things to do that keep a relationship fun. I thought about the times I wasn't bored in a relationship, and indeed we were doing all of those things (maybe except the sticky notes). 2
Tayken Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 I love this list. See...I am not all heartless after all 2
most_distant_galaxy Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 See...I am not all heartless after all I don't know whether you are heartless, but you are certainly not boring 1
Tayken Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 I don't know whether you are heartless, but you are certainly not boring Awwwwww....you say the nicest things. These words should be made into a sticky for me, and I can assure you that there is a lot more to me than my handsome face 2
RockyCruz Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I hear it time and time again when girls break up with guys...that they found him uninteresting and just plain boring. What makes a guy be this way and what steps can he take to break out of it? For starters, have passion for his own life. Have ambition. Dream big. Go and do it. Go to the gym, invest in himself. Stop being so available, clingy, and showing all that "interest in her." Surprise her with something exciting like taking her out to some kickass trip to experience something new, daring, bold and exciting once in a while. Instead of sitting on ass paying video games, and always being there. Be busy living a big life. LIVE than being up her ass, always there. Let her enjoy going out with friends, than being insecure, find one thing, a sexual fantasy to explore and go for it. Bang some excitement to it. Be unpredictable.
misty12 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 2. If you are video game playing type...grow up. I agree with this wholeheartedly. Husband is 41 and spent literally the entire weekend on the couch playing xbox. Granted, he doesn't do this all the time, but a whole weekend, morning till night, and not once did he even leave the house!
Tayken Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I agree with this wholeheartedly. Husband is 41 and spent literally the entire weekend on the couch playing xbox. Granted, he doesn't do this all the time, but a whole weekend, morning till night, and not once did he even leave the house! Am sure you will agree that corporal punishment should be applied here? I must be the only tech type that doesn't play video games / twit / facebook / Instagram or check their phone every second or spend more than 5mins on it.
Thegreatestthing Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 (edited) I started to find my bf boring lately,I didn't really know what to do - then I saw how supportive,comforting,wonderful he was and we started talking about Xmas and all the things were going to do,and I realised I can talk to him about anything so I'm very happy in the relationship again. A guy can develop his personality,read a lot on different topics on wiki,develop his character and interests so that he's interesting to be with and talk too. After three days without reading, talk becomes flavorless. - Chinese proverb I hear it time and time again when girls break up with guys...that they found him uninteresting and just plain boring. What makes a guy be this way and what steps can he take to break out of it? Edited November 19, 2014 by Thegreatestthing
Tayken Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 read a lot on different topics on wiki Wikipedia is not really a reliable resource for knowledge in academic circles. Most institutions will frown upon you for referencing it. It can be edited by anybody, which makes it unreliable.
Thegreatestthing Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Well you're not writing a thesis,you're just having a general conversation with your oartner,not everyone can access journal articles and the content can be extremely dry. If I want to talk to my bf about lizards or something crazy there's no problem looking it up on wiki. There's other avenues besides wiki obviously.
OwMyEyeball Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 Stop giving two hoots about what a woman may or may not find interesting and focus your attentions on discovering and pursuing your passions.
GravityMan Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 The person getting a life of his own and valuing that would be a good start. Having a genuine and in-depth interest in the world, a passion, a cause, SOMETHING...would help further. You should have something outside your relationship that gets your juices flowing and engines revving. Learning how to truly engage with your partner (or anyone else) would be a good idea. There's a difference between merely socializing with someone and engaging with them. It's a skill that can be learned...maybe take a speech class. People like this are often interesting to be around even during slow times when you're just chilling. Being more spontaneous may help. Constantly second-guessing things may result in missed moments of excitement, and may cause your partner to be frustrated or annoyed with you. In some cases it's more fun to shoot first and ask questions later. Get out of your own way. There are people out there who are well-traveled and have active lives that are just monotonous and dull during a conversation. There are those who are homebodies (but not hermits...they go out every now and then) who often have interesting things to say and cool anecdotes to share. TL,DR...get a life and stop caring so much. However...it could simply be that you two don't click. Some people tend to come out of their shell more around those they mesh well with, and withdraw a bit around those they don't mesh so well with. 2
Author X14Halo Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 There's a difference between merely socializing with someone and engaging with them. That's what I want to know more about...how can someone get better at this?
Tayken Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 If I were you, I wouldn't worry about this sort of thing. The women breaking up with guys because they find them boring are not the sort of women you want to end up with. Trust me on this. I am the video game playing type. It has nothing to do with maturity. It's an interest, just like any other. I have never had a woman say I was boring. I also read in my spare time, and I've done so since I was a child. Should I also grow out of that? We aren't talking about academic circles. This is LS, not Harvard. Have you been married, and how many women have you had LTR with?
Frank2thepoint Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 2. If you are video game playing type...grow up. Ha, flaws like gambling, whoring, alcoholism, drug abuse are more accepted than a non-threatening hobby like playing video games. .
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