utopie Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 We started no contact a month and a half ago. I am handling this so badly. She wanted me to contact her about a certain decision I was going to make, and so I did that a few weeks ago. I found out at that same time through a post of hers that she likes someone else. My heartbeat went out of control and my vision went blurry when I read this. My jealousy and pain was out of control. She likes someone else after one month? That fast? She must have lied about the way she said she felt for me. How can she like someone else after only one month while I'm still finding it impossible to like someone else? Not only does she like someone else, she seems very happy and loves her new job. She's on top of the world. I try to be happy for her but it's so difficult. Why is she so happy and how did she move on so fast? It feels like she never even liked me in the first place. She seems even happier while I'm often suicidal over it! She tends to hide her emotions, but this is too far. I can't eat at all, I'm barely getting through each work shift, and each time I think of the fact she likes someone else my heart sinks into abyss and I am stricken with jealousy, pain, depression, and my appetite gets ruined. This thought tortures me continuously all day every day. She's making so many friends at her new job, and I am completely alone. I have no friends, no one to talk to, no support in this. I am getting a therapist very soon and that is all I'll have. What can I do? How can I move past this? I dream of her, I think of her all day, I can't get out of bed on my days off from work. She was everything in my life. My only friend and only source of joy, support, and self-esteem. Without her my life is nothingness and emptiness. I am floating through each day in debilitating loneliness, depression, strong hunger with no appetite, anxiety, jealousy, with no relationships in my life. I am truly, purely alone. I am a Christian and God feels farther away than ever. I have no will to do anything. I waste all of my free time away by browsing the internet as a distraction. I can't believe this is happening to me. I need close friends; a reliable social circle. Life has never felt this cold and empty before.
frigginlost Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 Buddy, we have all been there. And some of us still are. Just know, that regardless of how she appears to feel it will all come crashing down. Placing dirt on emotions to bury them never works out in the end with those holding the shovel. The important thing is for you to just process your emotions and simply get to a point where you just don't care. It's going to take time, but you will get there. We all will...
love2ride Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 Your not alone at all my friend. I think a therapist is a good idea. I have no answers. I'm battling with it everyday. All i know is you have to force yourself out of bed and keep busy. I exercise as much as possible to tire myself out. I hate the restless feeling I have. I agree with the previous poster my ex seems so happy and fine now but I think it will come out one day and she will hurt. At least thats how I think to cope.
Author utopie Posted November 18, 2014 Author Posted November 18, 2014 Thank you both for replying. I hope we all get better soon.
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