Black Cement Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 (edited) Relationships have not been good to me the last couple of years. Recently my girlfriend left me for my room mate. That sucked a lot, but just found out that one of my ex girlfriends who I never really got over is getting married to the rebound she got with after our relationship. It hurts more than anything because she's the one that got away. Me & her were supposed to get married this year too, but now its with this jerk. We broke up 1.5 years ago, but I always had the thought we were going to reconcile, now there's no chance. I can't take this. I just stay in bed on my free time & watch movies. I blame myself for everything. I've been so disappointed with every relationship I've been in. I feel like just giving up hope in being with someone. But all I want is to find the one. Edited November 18, 2014 by Black Cement
HideYourLoveAway Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 I've definitely been there, even in the last few weeks. And ironically, I was the one that decided the relationship needed to end! I was in love with a girl and felt that our lives were completely entwined... and yet, I knew in my heart that I was not fully happy and at peace with the decision to be with her the rest of my life. So I have been extremely depressed and found it hard to get out of the bed in the morning. One thing you should practice is surrender. Remember that you cannot possibly solve or "figure out" the answers to these issues. But it is very much the reality of the world we live in. A lot of our pain is caused by the disconnect between our ideals, hopes, dreams and fantasies, and the reality of human life. Try to accept that things can't always be perfectly shaped or controlled. By learning to be fluid, or Antifragile (google that-- a great book and philosophy), we can gain more stability and balance in our lives. You might also want to check out the excellent website The Rational Male. The author (Rollo Tomassi) speaks of naked reality, the facts of men, women, and human nature, and even though it can be a tough pill to swallow at first, it will open your eyes to some facts of reality. Try this post: There is no One. | 1
me85 Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 Mr. Black, I totally get where you're coming from. I'm really sorry you're depressed. )= So your ex is marrying someone she's only known for less than a year and a half? Hmmmm...seems unlikely that will work out. Even if it does, I'm sure in time you will accept it and feel indifferent about it. I enjoy being single and want to be for the next couple of years (at least) but I've been lonely lately. I'd like to meet someone too but I'm far from ready to date seriously again. I just can't. I'm emotionally unavailable and it would be unfair of me to date a guy and him possibly fall for me but me not being able to open up to him like people should in RSs. I stay home by myself all the time. I don't have friends. Only a select few of family members I hang out with on occasion. I'm happy, but I'm lonely. I'm doing better, but I'm lonely. I miss affection. I wonder if I'll ever fall in love again. There are no single men where I live. If the singles scene existed here then I'd date casually again. Sadly, though, it's hard to meet men my age who are single and have no children, like myself. I'm sorry I don't have any real advice to give you today but I'm kinda in the same boat as you are in right now. My ex is the one who got away and I'm sure he'll marry the girl he cheated on me with. But that's why we have to distance ourselves from any mutual friends and from their social media so we don't know things about them. And what we don't know won't hurt us. Feel better champ. 1
Dontfindme Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 It's better to accept this reality sooner than later; ex's will get married, and they will have kids, without us, no matter how much we planned to be the one. I am sorry that you're feeling down. TV in bed isn't a bad combo to let this wave pass, just don't let it consume you for too long. How are you going to find your person, if you're lying in bed all day? 1
Chi townD Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 Dude, here's the deal. You need to work on YOU! I mean, you've just written that your current girlfriend left you for your room mate and your Ex girlfriend is getting married to her rebound. Maybe you're attracted to the WRONG type of girl. But, to hear you holed up like a hermit is disturbing. You need to make positive changes. You been here awhile, so you should know what you SHOULD be doing. Get out! See the world! GO TRAVEL!!! You never know who you're going to meet until you get out there! DO NOT LET THIS GET YOU DOWN!!! 3
Author Black Cement Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 Thanks everybody. I've been thinking about this lately & I'm trying to keep my head up and be positive. My friends are asking me to go out but I can't. My ex was lying to me this whole time, & I got suckered into believing he was "just a friend." I came face to face with him last year and wanted to knock him out, but he ran off like a lil bitch. IDK, guess you guys are right. I choose the wrong type of girls. No more disloyal, fickle minded ones. Today I'm start having a positive attitude about this, and realize I deserve better. I'm looking forward to what the future brings me!
Sugarkane Posted November 21, 2014 Posted November 21, 2014 Make the most of being single, while you've got the time!
Girlboots Posted November 21, 2014 Posted November 21, 2014 OMG I JUST MADE A THREAD ABOUT THIS!!! I FEEL YOU!! But you know what? At least you were with her. At least some point in your life and her life, you two loved each other. At least she found you datable and loved you and for a brief moment in your life and her life, you guys connected and had a special bond. But damn, I know exactly how you feel, it sucks really bad and you just want to go to outerspace and leave everything. You feel like someone is slowly sucking your happiness away with a straw. I know the feeling. 1
Author Black Cement Posted November 21, 2014 Author Posted November 21, 2014 OMG I JUST MADE A THREAD ABOUT THIS!!! I FEEL YOU!! But you know what? At least you were with her. At least some point in your life and her life, you two loved each other. At least she found you datable and loved you and for a brief moment in your life and her life, you guys connected and had a special bond. But damn, I know exactly how you feel, it sucks really bad and you just want to go to outerspace and leave everything. You feel like someone is slowly sucking your happiness away with a straw. I know the feeling. I know, i can't even either lol. But yeah, this hurts big time. What hurts the most is that we were friends for nearly 7 years, & I knew she was the one. We eventually did fall in love, & she was the only one I truly had feelings for. Now I'm just cut off for something I didn't do wrong, but I finally understand that she cut me off, just to keep me from knowing she's getting married. You're right, at least we were partners, & shared that bond. Nice to know, I'm not alone & there's people who feel my pain.
jackinthebox1 Posted November 22, 2014 Posted November 22, 2014 1.5 years ago? Thats ridiculous. I do not want to sound harsh but you need a huge wake up call. Your friends are trying to get you to go out but you won't. So you aren't actually trying to move on. You are being a victim. Your ex most likely left you because of these character flaws. Unless you actively want to work on yourself then you will be here in another 2 years. This is about you, and you don't get any pity from me if you are lounging around the house after 1.5 years dwelling on the past. Man up, and go make some new experiences
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