Ariel2006 Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 I was in a relationship with a guy for about 2 years. He basically was confused and I was unaware of what I was getting into EXACTLY. But we both agreed for personal reasons to keep the relationship between us. Basically he got with me because he thought things were over his EX, only to find out they weren't. He kept it from me until I made him tell me. He ended up breaking up with me. I accepted this and was ready to move on. AS this was confusing from the beginning and I felt used... But he ended up breaking up with her ... so he decided to get back together with me. I like the idiot I am, got back together with him because I never hated him despite of what happened the 1st time... he seemed to always care about me... he seemed to always do what I wanted to make me happy... he always checked up on me... and was respectful... so I thought why not give it a chance... but I stated that this time we would do things differently.. meaning that in an appropriate amount of time we should tell people we are dating. And he agreed as well. It has been 7 months since that convo... and I asked him should we start telling... for him to tell me no not yet, and I don't know yet. This to me became a HUGE RED FLAG. As he is still "friends" with his EX, and refuses to tell her because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings because they were together 8 years... (I'm a good person, and it breaks my heart in general to see other people hurt. So for about a year until now I have given him SPACE and for him to EVEN be FRIENDS with her as long as he doesn't hide anything) to eventually tell her... and when he said to me "I don't know yet" a red flag hit me that he's never going to be normal with me.... I'm just always hidden for him. So I told him flat out it's over and my reasons why. Basically he read it, and ignored it completely. Hasn't spoken to me since... and I find it rude and heartbreaking how for 2 years he said he cared about me in general ... I could care less about the break up.. sure it hurts... hurts a lot... but I have to do what's right for me... but the silence and no response is even more hurtful. How I trusted this guy not only as a boyfriend, but as a friend too.. even if the response was negative... I deserved to get the truth. I only asked him WHY we couldn't tell people we're dating and he didn't want to give a reason... So why would a 27 year old man act like this... I'm serious... For 2 years when he had no one I stood by him not only as a girlfriend but as a friend... and he seemed to do the same... so why the cold shoulder... Am I wrong for asking to tell people I'm dating someone? ... I mean seriously I don't EXPECT marriage.... I take my relationships slowly. Which is why after 2 years (which I think is more than enough), is the time to tell people I'm with someone. He doesn't want me dating other people... he gets jealous when other guys do... so what's the problem.... (if hypothetically it's not the EX , which it most likely is)... I just want people's view on this and there opinion because I don't have anyone mature enough to speak to. Thank you!
SparklingandBroken Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 Honestly, it sounds like you're the side chick. Are you sure his ex is really his ex?
jackinthebox1 Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 Sounds like he went NC you broke up with him so I'm not sure why you would find it more gratifying for him to crawl back. Who cares if it's over
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