central Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I mean, we're all ignoring my question(lol), What purpose does 1 have to save these pics on a work computer? She was a friend and they're simply a way to remember his past. I have photos of my ex and my son, some long-ago girlfriends, etc., because they're part of my history and I may want to remember it someday.
SycamoreCircle Posted November 24, 2014 Posted November 24, 2014 What a load of tosh. Maybe 1 in 100 times you will be right. But 99% of the time, when a guy (or girl) is browsing OLD profiles and sending flirty messages, he is a cheating scumbag. Accepting that kind of behaviour is a one-way road to major heartache. Well, I'm 1 in 100, I guess.
isisisweeping Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 From the information given this far, you're the one engaging in bad behavior and you seem very insecure and a little crazy in this matter
Nikki Sahagin Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 This is something that would upset me too, purely because I am INSANELY jealous. However, I don't think it is something you should fixate on (easier said that done). Remember the saying: pick your battles. If EVERY little thing is a battle, then when you are really upset about something, you won't have a leg to stand on.
RedRobin Posted November 25, 2014 Posted November 25, 2014 (edited) My main concern was we were already dating a year and a half when he saved those pics. When I asked him then "Why were you creeping on some girls pics" he said he wasn't. He said he didn't have a crush on her. Yet a year later it comes up he did save them and was infact creeping on them obviously to have saved them. My advice is that you find a way to ask questions that aren't so loaded. Lots of people will lie when confronted directly. The trick is to get them to confess. I wish I knew how to give you precise ways on how to get a guy to confess, but I don't. All I know is that every guy who has ever done anything sneaky with me has always confessed. Start with not asking questions about things they can easily lie about. Your bf for instance. Instead of confronting him directly... Ask him how he feels about putting personal pics in Dropbox... Ask him some general questions about what his definition of cheating might be... Talk to him about his philosophy about work romances.... In a tone and time that is non confrontational. You will find out where his values lie without accusing him directly... If there are inconsistencies... Then you have your answer... Then go from there. Contrary to what some others say... I don't think you are being overly insecure. I think you don't have a good way (yet) to assess his values and that is likely what bothers you. No one wants to feel like a placeholder or some dupe... I just broke up with a guy who confessed to participating in webcams after I told him specifically before we became intimate that I am not going to involve others in our sex life. Some people here recommended I give him another chance because he told the truth. My thought was that he should have told the truth to begin with... Who knows why your bf saved those pics. It does seem there are some inconsistencies. You can afford to take more time to clearly and calmly seek out where he stands on these issues in general before making a decision though. It just may be that your values aren't in line with each other... And that happens a lot. If that turns out to be the case, you could part ways without a lot of animosity or anger. Edited November 25, 2014 by RedRobin 1
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