Am I being led on? Should I forget about her or is it worth it to continue to pursue

[BarryMC]

Am I being led on? Should I forget about her or is it worth it to continue to pursue her? Please Help!

 

Hey Guys,

 

I'm new to the forum and this is my first post hopefully you guys can help me. I have a question and was hoping someone could shed some light on my situation.

 

For the last year or so I have been off and on with this girl (we've never actually made anything official) We met eachother in college but started casually dating afterwards (bike rides, dinner, drinks/cocktails. etc.) I immediately liked her and figured I’d try to pursue a relationship with her and see what happens. We continued to date for a few weeks and it seemed to be going well. Then I started to see a different side of her. She was leaving to go on vacation, so I took her to the airport and we even kissed goodbye. When she got back however, I didn’t see her for almost 3 weeks. She seemed to be disinterested or was making up excuses why she didn’t want to hang out. Finally we got together and it was exactly how it was before, we continued to go on dates, enjoy each other’s company and make out And be somewhat intimate.. Over the next few months we would hang out but she would always get mad at me for something little (I figured she was just maybe too sensitive). This happened a few times and we kind of began to hang out less and less and I even started to date another girl in the meantime. During the summer we would hang out every now and then sometimes not for a month or so and sometimes a few times a week and it seemed like we would be right back where we were before.

 

So eventually, the fling I had going with the other girl ended and I started to hang out with her much more frequently and it seemed our relationship started to rekindle. However, she started to always ask me to help her with things and eventually I confronted her about only ever wanting to hang out with me if she needed something (I may have been overreacting). This pissed her off and we didn’t talk for awhile. A week or two later I had planned a camping trip and invited her and she decided to come. We had an awesome time and 2 weeks after that we took a trip to Mexico with some friends and had a great time (all my friends figured we were girlfriend/boyfriend from what they saw). Everything seemed to be going good. We were enjoying each other, going on dates regularly and spending 3-4 days of the week hanging out. Problem is, we would hangout Thursday to Sunday and then come Monday, she would not call or text me and would seem to not want to have anything to do with me. I’ve always been there for her, I go out of my way to make sure she has fun and I’m always nice to her. This last week we went out Thursday and Friday and I was planning on asking her to date exclusively but I just didn’t find the right time. On Saturday she went out of town. I sent her a text saying I hope she had a good time, etc. and never got a response. She continues to be hot or cold towards me and can be a bit bitchy and tends to think that anything I say has a negative connotation or I am trying to make her feel guilty. Sometimes she’s extremely sweet to me and tells me how much she likes me and other times she is the opposite. We really enjoy each other’s company when we are together though so I don’t get why she would act this way. I guess my question is should I continue to put up with this or I should I let her go? I’m always there for her but I feel like half the time she shows no affection towards me and the way I feel about her is not reciprocated. I mentioned boyfriends and she said she’s not really interested in that right now because of her educational pursuits and some other excuses (shes pursuing her masters)Is she Bi-Polar? Do I just need to chill out? I feel like it shouldn’t be this difficult if she’s really into me. Please help! Any advice would be greatly appreciated, this is been going on way too long and I feel like I need to make a decision. Thanks!

[venusishername]

It sounds like you just need to approach it and ask her directly. Or instead of ask, why don't you TELL her you are interested in having an exclusive relationship with her and that you enjoy her company, etc. but are looking for something more than what has been happening.

She seems distant and aloof from what you write. She may be holding back for various reasons that you don't know about, but there's nothing you can do about that and it's nothing you are doing wrong. There's no excuse for her being bitchy and cold to you though. You've been so nice she can get away with walking all over you. Women aren't attracted to that.

Stop being a nice guy about it and grab the bull by the horns!