banini_jeque Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 I started dating this girl that I met from online. She really cracked me up when we met in person. I've been seeing her for a month. I like her and there's loads of passion when we make out. I feel pretty great when I'm with her. We want to go on a big trip together for the holidays. However, when I'm alone, fear grips me. She doesn't want to waste time, and is looking for her man. I didn't start dating until recently (in my 30s) and I feel like I don't have a clue what I'm doing and will end up disappointing her. I get scared of going on the trip and making reservations because it seems like a huge step, even though I've talked to her about my concerns and we've agreed to take things slow. Everything about her seems like such a great fit for me, and I'm really attracted to her, but somehow when I'm alone I feel like the right feeling might not be growing for me. Another thing that's been bothering is whether or not I've moved on enough from my ex, and that this may just end up being a rebound for me, which I don't want, but perhaps I need, I don't know! And this fear that I haven't moved on enough grows day by day. Even though going back to her seems like the worst idea in the world, somehow some feeling persists and makes me want to give it a real honest mature effort before finally letting go and accepting her as a friend.
Redhead14 Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 I started dating this girl that I met from online. She really cracked me up when we met in person. I've been seeing her for a month. I like her and there's loads of passion when we make out. I feel pretty great when I'm with her. We want to go on a big trip together for the holidays. One month is too soon to plan a trip together. She is rushing things and trying to create an "instant relationship". However, when I'm alone, fear grips me. She doesn't want to waste time, and is looking for her man. I didn't start dating until recently (in my 30s) and I feel like I don't have a clue what I'm doing and will end up disappointing her. I get scared of going on the trip and making reservations because it seems like a huge step, even though I've talked to her about my concerns and we've agreed to take things slow. Everything about her seems like such a great fit for me, and I'm really attracted to her, but somehow when I'm alone I feel like the right feeling might not be growing for me. Of course, you are having fear and reservations, it's too soon to be deciding about all this. When you are alone you are listening to your gut and not hearing her rush to get into a relationship. Another thing that's been bothering is whether or not I've moved on enough from my ex, and that this may just end up being a rebound for me, which I don't want, but perhaps I need, I don't know! And this fear that I haven't moved on enough grows day by day. Even though going back to her seems like the worst idea in the world, somehow some feeling persists and makes me want to give it a real honest mature effort before finally letting go and accepting her as a friend. The fact that you are being bothered by whether or not you are over your ex, means that you are not over your ex. Slow things down with this girl. Take a step back to get yourself centered and clear.
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