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Darren's Guide for when men should say I love you

Darren2013

By Darren2013
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Darren2013 Established Member

Darren2013

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It has been a long time since I have seen any guides posted on this site. It was more common back in 2006 to read guides everyday.

 

Here's my guide for when a man should say I love you to his girlfriend. I think it is better to wait for her to say it first. Let her be the one to initiate I love you. I believe in communicating my love through ACTIONS 90% of the time and verbally 10% of the time. Love is an action word.

 

So if she tells me she loves me I am not going to blindly parrot back with I love you too. Instead I can change the subject or tell her a funny story or a joke. Or if she says she loves me I can respond with "Why?" Why is always a good question. Especially if she says it for the first time. I can ask "Why?"

 

Or I can reply with "I am a very lucky man". You kind of have to think on your feet instead of blindly parroting back I love you too. If she says I love you at the end of a phone conversation you can also reply with "Thànk you and goodnight".

 

Ideally there's only 2 times I would tell my girlfriend I love her. Once on our honeymoon assuming we get married and once on her deathbed or my deathbed. If the doctor comes in and says Darren is not going to make it past sunset tomorrow then sure I will tell her I love her.

 

But most guys think I am nuts so they won't follow the ideal prescription. So a more reasonable guideline would be to tell her you love her once for every 5 times she says it. Saying I love you on her birthday or other special occasions like thanksgiving and Christmas is okay too. During thanksgiving you can tell her you thank God for her (if you believe in God) and that you love her. Hold her hand as you tell her this.

 

Other times I might do the terminator impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger and say "I'll be back" or "No problemo".

 

So that sums up my guide.

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Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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Hahahaha thanks for the morning laugh. That let her say it first crap is outdated garbage.

 

You say it when you know that you love the person, not when you think that you love them.

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serial muse Established Member

serial muse

Posted
Posted
It has been a long time since I have seen any guides posted on this site. It was more common back in 2006 to read guides everyday.

 

Here's my guide for when a man should say I love you to his girlfriend. I think it is better to wait for her to say it first. Let her be the one to initiate I love you. I believe in communicating my love through ACTIONS 90% of the time and verbally 10% of the time. Love is an action word.

 

So if she tells me she loves me I am not going to blindly parrot back with I love you too. Instead I can change the subject or tell her a funny story or a joke. Or if she says she loves me I can respond with "Why?" Why is always a good question. Especially if she says it for the first time. I can ask "Why?"

 

Or I can reply with "I am a very lucky man". You kind of have to think on your feet instead of blindly parroting back I love you too. If she says I love you at the end of a phone conversation you can also reply with "Thànk you and goodnight".

 

Ideally there's only 2 times I would tell my girlfriend I love her. Once on our honeymoon assuming we get married and once on her deathbed or my deathbed. If the doctor comes in and says Darren is not going to make it past sunset tomorrow then sure I will tell her I love her.

 

But most guys think I am nuts so they won't follow the ideal prescription. So a more reasonable guideline would be to tell her you love her once for every 5 times she says it. Saying I love you on her birthday or other special occasions like thanksgiving and Christmas is okay too. During thanksgiving you can tell her you thank God for her (if you believe in God) and that you love her. Hold her hand as you tell her this.

 

Other times I might do the terminator impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger and say "I'll be back" or "No problemo".

 

So that sums up my guide.

 

Theory's one thing but reality is quite another. Come back and tell us how this worked out for you.

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Darren2013 Established Member

Darren2013

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Remember the movie "Ghost" where Patrick Swayze and Denni Moore were walking down that dark street after the movie date? This was the scene before he got killed. Denni Moore asked him if he loves her. Then he answered that question by asking her well what do you think? She asks him why he never says it to her. Then he said something that makes a very good point. Patrick Swayze said "People say I love you all the time and it doesn't mean anything". He has a point. Love is a strong sacred word or should be treated as such anyway.

serial muse Established Member

serial muse

Posted
Posted
Remember the movie "Ghost" where Patrick Swayze and Denni Moore were walking down that dark street after the movie date? This was the scene before he got killed. Denni Moore asked him if he loves her. Then he answered that question by asking her well what do you think? She asks him why he never says it to her. Then he said something that makes a very good point. Patrick Swayze said "People say I love you all the time and it doesn't mean anything". He has a point. Love is a strong sacred word or should be treated as such anyway.

 

Then why would you want the woman in a relationship to say it more often?

 

Doesn't make sense.

 

Thing is, Patrick Swayze in Ghost liked hearing it; it's not like he wanted her to stop saying it to him. And Demi would have liked it, too, sometime before he died and stuff.

ASG Established Member

ASG

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Real question... What do you think that would accomplish? The you saying it 1/5 she says it? What would be your end goal here?

 

You make all these thread and OMG there have been plenty, and in all of them you have these crazy ideas of what you need to do, like preemptively breaking up, not saying ILY, and whatever... What do you think that will accomplish?

 

Do you think this will lead to a healthy relationship? Or just one where you think you're in charge? What is your end goal?

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Darren2013 Established Member

Darren2013

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Honestly I don't care or expect her to say it but if she does for the first time then I would be caught off guard and ask her why. It is a valid question to get her to think hard about the reasons she loves me. If you love me I want to know why. If you don't know why then figure it out and get back to me.

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Darren2013 Established Member

Darren2013

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Real question... What do you think that would accomplish? The you saying it 1/5 she says it? What would be your end goal here?

 

You make all these thread and OMG there have been plenty, and in all of them you have these crazy ideas of what you need to do, like preemptively breaking up, not saying ILY, and whatever... What do you think that will accomplish?

 

Do you think this will lead to a healthy relationship? Or just one where you think you're in charge? What is your end goal?

 

It is a healthy relationship where love is communicated more through actions instead of words. Love through action means taking the initiative to anticipate what her coming needs are and make the effort to meet them. Like if I know she will be too tired to cook when she comes home from work and I have the day off I better have dinner prepared 2 hours before she gets home. That's just one example.

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ASG Established Member

ASG

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Posted
It is a healthy relationship where love is communicated more through actions instead of words. Love through action means taking the initiative to anticipate what her coming needs are and make the effort to meet them. Like if I know she will be too tired to cook when she comes home from work and I have the day off I better have dinner prepared 2 hours before she gets home. That's just one example.

 

Sure, I don't disagree with that. I'm just confused why you think you need to put a limit on how much you say it. People LIKE hearing it, generally. Even if they also DEMONSTRATE it with their actions.

Why would you only say it once for every 5 times she said it? What would THAT accomplish? And how is THAT healthy?

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evanescentworld Established Member

evanescentworld

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Posted (edited)
Here's my guide for when a man should say I love you to his girlfriend. I think it is better to wait for her to say it first. Let her be the one to initiate I love you. I believe in communicating my love through ACTIONS 90% of the time and verbally 10% of the time. Love is an action word.
What actions would you use? Surely words AND actions would be doubly powerful....? You do know, don't you, that women adore the reassurance of the spoken love-token? Actions don't always get interpreted as an 'I love you'. It depends what the 'action' is of course....

 

 

So if she tells me she loves me I am not going to blindly parrot back with I love you too. Instead I can change the subject or tell her a funny story or a joke.
And thereby knock her self esteem and security totally against the wall.

"I love you"

"Here's a good one. There's this bloke, and he's piussed as a fart, and he..."

Hmmm. Way to go to kill the moment!

 

Or if she says she loves me I can respond with "Why?" Why is always a good question. Especially if she says it for the first time. I can ask "Why?"
To which I would respond - "Good question! I often ask myself the same thing! " and roll my eyes and walk away.

If by the time a woman tells you she loves you, you still think the question 'why' is appropriate, you're more dense than she deserves.

 

Or I can reply with "I am a very lucky man". You kind of have to think on your feet instead of blindly parroting back I love you too.
Saying I love you, to a person who makes you feel you're a lucky man, isn';t parroting, it's reciprocating. Unless, of course, you're just saying that to avoid telling her you love her - because you don't. In which case, you really aren't a lucky man, you're a selfish idiot.

 

If she says I love you at the end of a phone conversation you can also reply with "Thànk you and goodnight".
And she'll hang up thinking "What a total jerk/@4shole... !"

 

Ideally there's only 2 times I would tell my girlfriend I love her. Once on our honeymoon assuming we get married
Why bother with the effort? Surely the wedding was enough, wasn't it? :rolleyes:

 

and once on her deathbed or my deathbed. If the doctor comes in and says Darren is not going to make it past sunset tomorrow then sure I will tell her I love her.
What a stupid assumption. You imagine that if you're going to die by sunset tomorrow, you'll be lucid enough to speak? You haven't been around people who are dying, much, have you?

 

But most guys think I am nuts so they won't follow the ideal prescription.
I'm afriad most women do too...

 

So a more reasonable guideline would be to tell her you love her once for every 5 times she says it.
Don't tell me - you're going to keep a secret spreadsheet on your laptop....

 

Saying I love you on her birthday or other special occasions like thanksgiving and Christmas is okay too.
In fact, dispense with gifts altogether. I'm sure that would be gift enough....

 

During thanksgiving you can tell her you thank God for her (if you believe in God) and that you love her. Hold her hand as you tell her this.
Yes, and hold her head as she's puking in your lap....

 

Other times I might do the terminator impression of Arnold Schwarzenegger and say "I'll be back" or "No problemo".
That prospect is only marginally more attractive than he is. Which is 'not at all'.

 

So that sums up my guide
Well, if nothing else, it was fun looking at the screen through my tears of laughter....! Thanks for the fun few minutes! Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Darren2013 Established Member

Darren2013

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Because it is not manly to talk about my feelings too often.

clia Established Member

clia

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Honestly I don't care or expect her to say it but if she does for the first time then I would be caught off guard and ask her why. It is a valid question to get her to think hard about the reasons she loves me. If you love me I want to know why. If you don't know why then figure it out and get back to me.

 

If a guy said "why" after I said "I love you" I would think he was not self-assured, confident, or secure in himself. That would be a huge turn-off. I would probably re-think the "I love you."

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ASG Established Member

ASG

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It is a healthy relationship where love is communicated more through actions instead of words. Love through action means taking the initiative to anticipate what her coming needs are and make the effort to meet them. Like if I know she will be too tired to cook when she comes home from work and I have the day off I better have dinner prepared 2 hours before she gets home. That's just one example.

 

I tried to edit my previous post, but couldn't... Why the hell would you have dinner ready 2 HOURS before she's home?!?! Again, what would THAT accomplish? Cold food is not really the ticket, dude! Having dinner ready WHEN SHE WALKS IN THE DOOR would be more appropriate!

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evanescentworld Established Member

evanescentworld

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Because it is not manly to talk about my feelings too often.

And you think your guide makes you sound manly?

 

In the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger, "Guess again" (as you're fond of quoting him....)

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ASG Established Member

ASG

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Because it is not manly to talk about my feelings too often.

 

Yes it is. And with your attitude, many women would only say ILY to you ONCE. They'd leave you after that.

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Darren2013 Established Member

Darren2013

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I tried to edit my previous post, but couldn't... Why the hell would you have dinner ready 2 HOURS before she's home?!?! Again, what would THAT accomplish? Cold food is not really the ticket, dude! Having dinner ready WHEN SHE WALKS IN THE DOOR would be more appropriate!

 

 

It won't be cold food because I will keep the stove on to keep the food heated.

 

By the way women's big complaint about men is that they don't do enough housework.

evanescentworld Established Member

evanescentworld

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Yes it is. And with your attitude, many women would only say ILY to you ONCE. They'd leave you after that.

 

ONCE?? That many? :confused:

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evanescentworld Established Member

evanescentworld

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It won't be cold food because I will keep the stove on to keep the food heated.

Yes, I'd love to come home to a nice plateful of pasta and salmon that's been kept heated for 2 HOURS!!:mad:

 

By the way women's big complaint about men is that they don't do enough housework.

That's because they don't do enough housework....:rolleyes:

serial muse Established Member

serial muse

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It won't be cold food because I will keep the stove on to keep the food heated.

 

By the way women's big complaint about men is that they don't do enough housework.

 

 

Well, that, and that they don't express their feelings.

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evanescentworld Established Member

evanescentworld

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That's because they don't do enough housework....:rolleyes:

 

Let's back this up for you....

 

Not so much a claim as fact....

ASG Established Member

ASG

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It won't be cold food because I will keep the stove on to keep the food heated.

 

By the way women's big complaint about men is that they don't do enough housework.

 

Yes, but making dinner 2 HOURS EARLY is not gonna solve that particular issue. Reheated food is usually NOT the way to win someone's heart!

 

But you didn't answer... why would you not aim to have it ready as she walks in the front door? Why would it be 2 hours early?

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Darren2013 Established Member

Darren2013

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Giving lip service to love is too easy. Taking initiative to do more housework takes more effort and time. I have gotten good practice with that in the last 7 years of doing more housework without anyone asking me to do it. This way if I ever decide to live with a girlfriend I will be very good at carrying my weight in the household. I take out the trash, vacuum the kitchen floor everyday, do the dishes everyday, etc.

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Darren2013 Established Member

Darren2013

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Yes, but making dinner 2 HOURS EARLY is not gonna solve that particular issue. Reheated food is usually NOT the way to win someone's heart!

 

But you didn't answer... why would you not aim to have it ready as she walks in the front door? Why would it be 2 hours early?

 

It isn't reheated but it is kept heated at a steady temperature. To answer your question I would rather risk getting it ready too early than too late.

evanescentworld Established Member

evanescentworld

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Yes, but that's not a way to say "I love you" That's rightful participation in living together.

Anyway, why are you at home for so long, while she's out working?

Do you not have a job?

ASG Established Member

ASG

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Giving lip service to love is too easy. Taking initiative to do more housework takes more effort and time. I have gotten good practice with that in the last 7 years of doing more housework without anyone asking me to do it. This way if I ever decide to live with a girlfriend I will be very good at carrying my weight in the household. I take out the trash, vacuum the kitchen floor everyday, do the dishes everyday, etc.

 

 

That's great. It wouldn't substitute for actually saying ILY to your GF. Especially if you feel it and she's saying it to you. Thank you is not an acceptable reply. Neither is why.

And keeping track, so that you only say it once for every 5 times she says isn't acceptable either...

 

Have you ever ACTUALLY had a girlfriend???

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