polaske93 Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 It's been over 2 months now. I'm doing alot better, but I still can't get over all of this. It's weird I honestly know I'm better off without her. She honestly never put the effort into our relationship she does with any othere guy she dates. Even though i loved her and treated her better then anyone else. But I still can't shake it.. I still find it hard to wake up and live everyday. I just had a dream about her and the friend of mine she is dating now, and i just want to go back to sleep and never wake up.. I hate the emotions I'm still going through.. I just want all thought of her to end, I'm sick of all of this. I miss being happy.. I don't think I'm suicidal anymore, but idk how long I can continue to live in misery..
elaine567 Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 Every time she enters your head go and DO something else, DO anything at all. Iron a shirt, wash the car, go for a walk, make a cup of coffee, weed the garden, meet up with friends, anything at all to get your mind thinking of something else and your body moving, just do not sit/lie there and stew. It will pass, as long as you have the inclination to get better. You already know you are better off without her, concentrate on that. 2
Reels Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 2 months is not that old, try 2 years and see. 1
jj99 Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 please go and get professional help if you are still feeling hopeless, (you can still feel hopeless w/o feeling suicidal). you need to speak to someone w/ an unbiased opinion that can help you w/your thought process. it is hard to process all of your emotions, thoughts and life while going through a difficult break up, so by talking to someone, you are able to vent and look towards the future w/a clearer vision. if you were together a long time - and Im talking a few years - it will be a while before you are feeling anywhere near normal. as cliche as it is, time really heals all wounds, but getting extra help in the meantime never hurts. I am not an expert or 1 to just dole out advice, but as a person who went through it, I can empathize. I was with my bf for a little more than 4 1/2 years before we broke up. it was devastating and I truly felt like I was drowning in emotions. I couldn't truly function for about the first 6 months, and then around a year and a 1/2 later, I finally began to feel more like myself. try to get ahead of the game now and talk to someone before it gets out of control. good luck
Mr Scorpio Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 You need to focus OP. You need to focus on something, anything else aside from her. A movie, a tv show, a song. Something. My suggestion? Above and beyond therapy and exercise and self-help books and reading endless threads on this site? Better than drinking or talking to your friends about it for the umpteenth time? Exercise. Think about it. Wouldn't it be great to get a full nights sleep? To not wake up at 7am after passing out at 4am only to think "oh great, another day of this?". And wouldn't it be great to actually have an appetite again? To look forward to eating food, as opposed to forcing yourself to because you haven't in a few days because you aren't hungry because you're just lying around in a zombie-fog? Of course, all of those other suggestions -- therapy and meds and reading threads on here and talking to people -- are viable options. However, exercise will cut to the core. It will release the natural chemicals in your brain. It will give you an escape. It will give you a focus. Just do it.
dumbass2 Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 You sound exactly as I did about my ex. I thought it would never go away. Well, guess what? After getting to the point I finally did NC for 3 months and it was 5 months in total after the break up, but I'm now in a much better place. When people on here tell you that it will get better in time, they are right, but remember this, there is no specific time frame to get over it. Everyone processes it differently, so do not get caught up on WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG!. You have to allow yourself time to go through all the stages of the break up and you will go back and forth on some of the stages a few times and you may make a few mistakes. Do what you feel is best for yourself. Take in advice and process it before you act on it. Try not to act on emotions. I wrote a lot down on my computer when I was having a tough time. Went back weeks, months later, read them again, laughed and deleted them. Feelings will change over time. NC is really the best for trying to move forward. You cannot stay in contact with them at all.
Frank13 Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 2 months is not that old, try 2 years and see. Try 3 years. Lol
RockyCruz Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 (edited) It's been over 2 months now. I'm doing alot better, but I still can't get over all of this. It's weird I honestly know I'm better off without her. She honestly never put the effort into our relationship she does with any othere guy she dates. Even though i loved her and treated her better then anyone else. But I still can't shake it.. I still find it hard to wake up and live everyday. I just had a dream about her and the friend of mine she is dating now, and i just want to go back to sleep and never wake up.. I hate the emotions I'm still going through.. I just want all thought of her to end, I'm sick of all of this. I miss being happy.. I don't think I'm suicidal anymore, but idk how long I can continue to live in misery.. As long, as you hold onto the illusion, that she is your happiness. I'm going to be frank with you. You will always remember her and you will at times think about her. The toughest part is not forgiving her but forgiving yourself and letting go. 5 years I was in a relationship. Marriage. Divource. The way I dealt with it, is I realised, this is a prime opportunity to better my life even further. I went to Gym. I re-dsicovered my dreams, got a big purpose, pursued them, ravaged tons of books, went out and did things that scared the living daylight out of me, and I lived a life I never thought in my wildest dream could have happened. I even learnt to play guitar and sing on stage in front of thousand. I was trembling the first time but I did it. I released, there is much more to life that getting love, and more in giving love, joy to others through what I do best but feared to do years back. Though I remember her at times, she is not my happiness. I hope the best for her but I will never be her friend. No woman will ever be my happiness. No one can. If you're not happy with yourself, you will always find some emptiness with or without the person. Without the person...it will hurt. That is because they are not suppose to fill that emptiness and pain. You are, your purpose, your ambition, your goals and not woman as centre of attention. Find a greater purpose in your life. Turn it around to live for you. This is your chance to explore you and live a big life. This storm will pass. Edited November 19, 2014 by RockyCruz
welyam Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 it's not easy to forget someone, but they are right. Everytime you remember her, do something that will shake her out of your mind.
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