London Lad Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 (edited) I’m 45 was married for 12 years before it came to end some two years back, I live on my own and I have two girls aged 11 & 7. A good pal of mine was seeing this girl, just a causal thingfor about three months max, he got bored (so he told me) and she wanted more than what he was willing to give, she has two kids and he does not have any andthere was not any love there it was just sex for him and they split up some seven weeks back. A few weeks back this girl said that she had some old clothes of her daughters and would my girls like them, the three of us went around there, stayed for a bit and all four kids got on like a house on fire Just recently I’ve been seeing more of this girl but only when I’ve had my kids and only on a friendship basis, but I fear that I am starting to like her more and more and I feel that the feelings are mutual. Yesterday me and my girls went to hers for some pizzas, thefour kids had a great time and it was nice for me to also have some femaleadult company. Do I go for it, of do I back off? I know there are pros and cons to this but the way I see itis that I am 45, so age is not on my side to a degree, the four kids all get on great and would I find that with another person? My pal was only there for weekly shag with this girl, so it’s not like it was a long term serious love affair.She is beautiful, generous, and funny and I do like her a lot and most importantly so do my girls and her kids like me. The cons, well do I really need to spell them out? Edited November 17, 2014 by London Lad
Elle1975 Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 I don't get the "45 y old" problem. Do you think you're old? I have to laugh.. 45 is not old. I think it's the perfect age. Unless she's 22 or something?
Author London Lad Posted November 17, 2014 Author Posted November 17, 2014 I don't get the "45 y old" problem. Do you think you're old? I have to laugh.. 45 is not old. I think it's the perfect age. Unless she's 22 or something? What I am saying about the age is that it's not as easy to find someone as what it was when I was younger, she is 41. Anyway, go for it or let it pass?
BluEyeL Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 What I am saying about the age is that it's not as easy to find someone as what it was when I was younger, she is 41. Anyway, go for it or let it pass? That's your decision. If you like her, and the kids get along, why not try?
elaine567 Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 Drop a few hints first before you make a fool of yourself and lose her friendship too. You don't want her to think you are just taking advantage of her and see her as an easy lay like your friend seemed to have done. As she made the first move by offering you her girls old clothes then she may have designs on you, then again she may only see you as a single parent friend, hard to say. Personally I would maybe suggest a day or two out with the kids first, let her get to know you, show you are interested, and then ask if she would like to go out with you on her own. 2
GemmaUK Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 She could just see you as a friend and a no go zone due to your friend and her relationship with him. I agree with dropping a few hints along the way though. Also though, has she done all of the reaching out so far? EG the clothes and pizza invite? You could step up next and suggest you all do something together with the kids - more of a see how it pans out rather than jump in. You inviting her and her children out would show that you actually do step up and invite too so is another subtle step to getting to know and being more involved plus that you also want to spend time with her also.
ktya Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 Just talk to the friend who was shagging her. Tell him you've been hanging out with her and the kids and you've been getting along great, that you might like to persue it further but dont want anything to come between you and your pal. Chances are your pal wont care and will tell you to go for it and appreciate that you came to him before you went for it. You being 45 and her being 41 and her being of the disposition that a weekly casual shag with your pal was enough to scratch the itch chances are she's wanting something from you beyond watching the kids eat pizza and your the one in the dark. As women get older they get more direct and casual about things. Its not like in your 20s when you say to a girl you like her, and even if she feels the same way she will beat around the bush and maybe run away. A 41 year old girl you can just say something to the tune one "Hey we and our kids seem to get along great we should hook up" and she will either say yes or laugh it off. Talk to the pal and if he says go for it go for it. He may even be able to give you pointers on what she likes or put in a good word for you.
elaine567 Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 As women get older they get more direct and casual about things. Its not like in your 20s when you say to a girl you like her, and even if she feels the same way she will beat around the bush and maybe run away. A 41 year old girl you can just say something to the tune one "Hey we and our kids seem to get along great we should hook up" and she will either say yes or laugh it off. Talk to the pal and if he says go for it go for it. He may even be able to give you pointers on what she likes or put in a good word for you. Something here makes me want to cringe in your reply Kyta. London Lad I agree you could ask if he minds you asking her out, but, if you like this girl and want to be serious, do not "swap notes" with your pal. He might tell her. She may or may not be a hook-up kind of girl, not everyone is. Your pal may have been casual, but as they broke up due to him not being serious, I doubt she is.
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