whitewlf00 Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 Have been with my boyfriend for 15 yrs. Had the talk tonight with him reg our relationship feels like it's stalled. We still love each other. Everything in relationship is great, i just want it to progress. He's not a very good communicator, and every time I would try to address marriage and kids he would brush it off. He told me tonight that he doesn't know if he wants marriage or kids, he never thinks ahead, but he's not sure. Marriage and kids terrify him. We live together, have 2 dogs together. We come from divorced parents. I just don't know where to go from here. I honestly think he's just scared but don't know how to over come it. I hate to leave a great guy and start all over again. Do I give him a time line? Do i leave and hope he comes to his senses?
frigginlost Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 You tell him your feelings, and that these are things you want out of the relationship. You ask him if he is looking for the same thing. If his answer is "I don't know" then you inform him that you don't know if you can continue down the same relationship path with him. You let him think it over. But he *has* to think about it, not stall. If you guys have been together 15 years, he should not have to think that long about it...
Rainah Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 My sister was with her boyfriend for 12 years before she decided to end it because of your same situation minus living together. They were looking for a place to live together but he did not seem interested, my sister had to pull teeth to get him to admit he doesn't want to move out of his parents house or live together, he admitted other things like not wanting to marry or kids, after 12 years she found they were just on separate pages. About 3 months after their breakup her boyfriend found another girl who he ended up moving in with and living with - talk about a slap in the face! Anyway my sister now has a boyfriend who she has been with for over a year with now and she is much happier than before and they are looking for a place to live together now. Point of my story is to talk to him, after 15 years he should not be drawing blanks at your questions of marriage and kids. Even if he is a great guy if you are both on different wave lengths then this relationship might not be the one for you.
Zahara Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 After 15 years and he still doesn't know what he wants with you, then there is no timeline anymore. It's time for you to find someone that has the same expectations in life. And if you have to leave someone to "make" them come to their senses, would you want to be with someone that needs to be coerced?
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