If I'm losing feelings for my long distance girlfriend, will they ever come back?

[DougTheGeek16]

Hi, I met this girl online on skout just trying to make friends so that's what we did but I kinda liked her, not to mention the fact we both shared so much in common and talked a lot. Anyway, after like 3 months of talking we decided to get into a long distance relationship and wait for the day we meet each other and made a promise. Anyway as weird as that sounded it's been 5 months and we met during last summer and it was so great until I started school again and was around other girls after a time I wondered if I should be in a long distance relationship because I'd like to be with the person. But I choose to stay with the girl I'm with because I love her and we both are great for each other I want her as a part of my life, she helps me, and is amazing I can't see anything wrong with our relationship but me because I know of her flaws, but I don't care I just want her as a person to be with. Whenever we talk on video call I feel so happy and less worried about us bit whenever we aren't speaking or texting I wonder if this relationship is for me because, yes of course I want to be with her more than anything in the world but at the same time I'm worried that we'll meet and my feelings will have changed or my feelings might fade away. Long distance is so hard for me and I'm new to relationships since she's my 3rd girlfriend but the longest I've had. But anyway, idk because I love her but I feel like I'll never truly know what I want until I'm with her in person for a while. I also hope that when we are in person that even if my feelings fade, they'll begin to grow again for real physically and emotionally over time and I'll love her even more than before. Can someone give me advice on what they've just read.

[mariekatie]

Hi, I met this girl online on skout just trying to make friends so that's what we did but I kinda liked her, not to mention the fact we both shared so much in common and talked a lot. Anyway, after like 3 months of talking we decided to get into a long distance relationship and wait for the day we meet each other and made a promise. Anyway as weird as that sounded it's been 5 months and we met during last summer and it was so great until I started school again and was around other girls after a time I wondered if I should be in a long distance relationship because I'd like to be with the person. But I choose to stay with the girl I'm with because I love her and we both are great for each other I want her as a part of my life, she helps me, and is amazing I can't see anything wrong with our relationship but me because I know of her flaws, but I don't care I just want her as a person to be with. Whenever we talk on video call I feel so happy and less worried about us bit whenever we aren't speaking or texting I wonder if this relationship is for me because, yes of course I want to be with her more than anything in the world but at the same time I'm worried that we'll meet and my feelings will have changed or my feelings might fade away. Long distance is so hard for me and I'm new to relationships since she's my 3rd girlfriend but the longest I've had. But anyway, idk because I love her but I feel like I'll never truly know what I want until I'm with her in person for a while. I also hope that when we are in person that even if my feelings fade, they'll begin to grow again for real physically and emotionally over time and I'll love her even more than before. Can someone give me advice on what they've just read.

 

 

I got a big shock when i read this, i thought you were my boyfriend till you mentioned that she's your 3rd girlfriend! Phew. Well It's kinda sad to see this happens in LDR. May i ask, how old are you both & and how far is the distance? I guess you both need to fix on a date to meet up/end date so you will have something to look forward to. Prolly you're not losing interest, things just become mundane as LDR is mostly like a routine. Try taking some time away, you'll realise how much you miss her. On some days, i feel lesser for him, not because i stopped loving him but because i'm stressed out.

 

Maybe it's true that you won't know how you truly feel till you spent time with her in real life. I'm in no position to tell you that it's wrong as i've not met my bf yet. BUT i have 1 LDR before this r/s. I admit that i have times when my feelings "fade". But when i see him again, i warm up and love him so much. Honestly when i think back, i start to think if it was because i didn't truly loved my ex, that's why my feelings "fade". We were often quarreling due to many issues, i knew he wasn't suitable actually. It's tiresome to only be able to talk to your partner yet can't feel them. It can be hard on some days, especially when you're having a bad day.

 

I'm the same as you, when we talk/webcam i felt more love but if i was neglected for some time, i start to have doubts again. So maybe she's neglecting you in a way or so. Are your "needs" met? It's your own r/s so only you both know what is wrong. Idk but my ex lost feelings for me months before we meet up again. Even after spending a month together, he just don't feel anything for me anymore. He felt guilty and i was CLUELESS. I didn't even expect that or notice any red flags. Maybe you should talk to her about it.

 

It's hard to advice you as feelings is such that we can't control it. It's either we love or we don't.

[DougTheGeek16]

We don't really quarrel and are very open about this topic and she accepts my problem we are both 16 I'm in New York, she is in Chicago I personally don't think my needs of physical affection are being met like hugging and cuddling but eh. But uh I actually like it when she plays hard to get but she barely does with me only sometimes idk how to tell her I'd like her to make it challenging, any advice?

[mariekatie]

We don't really quarrel and are very open about this topic and she accepts my problem we are both 16 I'm in New York, she is in Chicago I personally don't think my needs of physical affection are being met like hugging and cuddling but eh. But uh I actually like it when she plays hard to get but she barely does with me only sometimes idk how to tell her I'd like her to make it challenging, any advice?

 

Firstly you will not want to hear this but you're too young to be in a LDR. Because you didn't experience much in life yet. Furthermore financial wise is very important in a LDR. When will you see her? I feel like both of you ain't stable enough. Sometimes quarrels is a good thing, it brings you guys closer. At your age, prolly your hormones are raging therefore physical affection is important to you. I feel like you only like the chase and not the comfort of a relationship. She can play hard to get but once you "got" her again, you will fade away again. It's the thrill of chasing someone. Instead of telling her "I dont like it when you.....", say it "I like it when you..... It's cute". This might encourage her to do it more. But honestly Playing games in a r/s doesn't end well. You need to learn alot. But i would still tell you to go for it, because you never know if you never try. Take it as an experience. If it works, good. If it don't, it's experience. Tell her what you want. Talk to her.

[DougTheGeek16]

Firstly you will not want to hear this but you're too young to be in a LDR. Because you didn't experience much in life yet. Furthermore financial wise is very important in a LDR. When will you see her? I feel like both of you ain't stable enough. Sometimes quarrels is a good thing, it brings you guys closer. At your age, prolly your hormones are raging therefore physical affection is important to you. I feel like you only like the chase and not the comfort of a relationship. She can play hard to get but once you "got" her again, you will fade away again. It's the thrill of chasing someone. Instead of telling her "I dont like it when you.....", say it "I like it when you..... It's cute". This might encourage her to do it more. But honestly Playing games in a r/s doesn't end well. You need to learn alot. But i would still tell you to go for it, because you never know if you never try. Take it as an experience. If it works, good. If it don't, it's experience. Tell her what you want. Talk to her.

 

I actually agree with you we are young and still have hormones but I'd like to try and hopefully mature with her. I don't want to play games, I want a steady relationship that lasts that's all I want, so I'll tell her in a cute way but I'll also inform her of the advice you've given me and we will talk about it and see where we can build I hope and pray to God she and I will stay together no matter what and have a committed relationship even without the thrill of the chase.

[mariekatie]

I actually agree with you we are young and still have hormones but I'd like to try and hopefully mature with her. I don't want to play games, I want a steady relationship that lasts that's all I want, so I'll tell her in a cute way but I'll also inform her of the advice you've given me and we will talk about it and see where we can build I hope and pray to God she and I will stay together no matter what and have a committed relationship even without the thrill of the chase.

 

Well at least that's mature enough but remember to stick to reality and don't fade off to the "fantasy" part as in LDR, we tend to imagine and mixed up reality and fantasy. Well but honestly at 16, it would be hard. Because when life moves on, some people gets left behind. You or her will prolly encounter GIGS, she might new people and fade off. Some people have lasting r/s from a young age but it's hard as well, they go through alot. In a LDR, we often have to rely only on communication and we form a strong emotional bond. Some people say, if you can overcome distance, you can overcome everything. I'm on the fence about this. Yes we will be stronger but things would also change when you guys are together physically. At your age, i feel you should take it easy and follow the flow. But it's nice to see a guy at your age being faithful & having confidence in your LDR. There's alot of people at your age who don't give a **** about it & just plays around. Just understand that the honeymoon period doesn't last. Some last 1 month, some 1 year. The thrill of the chase will eventually fade and it turns into another kind of love, a committed r/s. it's one of the best feeling.

[DougTheGeek16]

Well at least that's mature enough but remember to stick to reality and don't fade off to the "fantasy" part as in LDR, we tend to imagine and mixed up reality and fantasy. Well but honestly at 16, it would be hard. Because when life moves on, some people gets left behind. You or her will prolly encounter GIGS, she might new people and fade off. Some people have lasting r/s from a young age but it's hard as well, they go through alot. In a LDR, we often have to rely only on communication and we form a strong emotional bond. Some people say, if you can overcome distance, you can overcome everything. I'm on the fence about this. Yes we will be stronger but things would also change when you guys are together physically. At your age, i feel you should take it easy and follow the flow. But it's nice to see a guy at your age being faithful & having confidence in your LDR. There's alot of people at your age who don't give a **** about it & just plays around. Just understand that the honeymoon period doesn't last. Some last 1 month, some 1 year. The thrill of the chase will eventually fade and it turns into another kind of love, a committed r/s. it's one of the best feeling.

 

Thank you and I hope all goes well, I mean I personally don't think of myself as mature yet or smart with relationships but I try for her