frozengirl Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 I've heard this a lot, "Be patient he will come" but isn't waiting around waiting for him to arrive not doing anything not going to make him magically appear? This is in regards to dating, I have not had luck finding a guy so everyone tells me to be patient and wait he will come. Does this method actually work or no?
Gloria25 Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 Lol.... I think I need more details here (i.e. do you know of someone, but he isn't showing you any attention?) If you're talking in general and you're out of high school and/or college - I think you have to put more effort into it. You have to expand your social circles. The more people you get to meet, the more you may meet someone. Think about it, you go to work, gym, home. That's it...you see the same set of people, who are probably dating others and/or attached. When you were in high school and/or college - you were bombarded with singles and you had opportunities to mingle with people, often w/o the pressures of actually dating them (i.e. classes, workshops, activities). Once you get out of that scene, your social circle significantly shrinks. Have you tried meet-ups, volunteering, church single groups, etc? 1
guest569 Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 I think the phrase is just a comfort, but not necessarily true. I think you've got to put yourself out there, go and find him. But at the same time, be patient and content with your own life and don't let 'finding the one' take over your life.
Dallers Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 Changes from person to person. Some people love the attention and clingy behaviour I personally hate it. As a guy I want the person I like to be a complete and utter nightmare for me. A challenge beyond challenge to the point that I hate it. I am attracted to the chase not putting something on a plate. I look for high value which requires constant push and pull to keep me interested. I am terrible at relationships figures For a girl all I think you need to do is make it clear you are interested in him and up for it. Then he will do most of the work. Then normally things will go between one person chasing the other back and forth.
d0nnivain Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 It's about not being desperate but you still have to be active in your search or at least your availability. As I used to tell a friend of mine, Mr. Right is not going to show up at your mother's kitchen table. You have to get out there. Joining clubs, playing sports, engaging in activities, going to parties, attending classes, working, and/or being friendly all increases your chances of meeting somebody because you are exposed to more people. You don't have to hit on every person you meet but do smile & say hello to ones who interest you. 1
Elle1975 Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 I've heard this a lot, "Be patient he will come" but isn't waiting around waiting for him to arrive not doing anything not going to make him magically appear? This is in regards to dating, I have not had luck finding a guy so everyone tells me to be patient and wait he will come. Does this method actually work or no? "He" will come if you put yourself out there. Can't find you if you sit at home in your sweats... If you want something you have to put a minimum of effort into it.
90s kid Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 It is conflicting advice to "be patient and he will come" while also saying that "you've got to put yourself out there and find a good guy." I think the truth is somewhere in the middle. You need to make yourself available and attractive. But at the same time, the right man will come to you. In my personal experience, I've had moments where I've tried really hard to put myself out there in hopes of finding someone. And that usually yields me ZERO results. On the flip side, I've had good men come my way when I least expected it and when I put no effort into it. I believe that men who are truly interested will actively try to insert themselves into your life. At that point, it is up to you to be open and try to cultivate that relationship. 1
todreaminblue Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 i agree with 90s kid....as there being no set tried and true path with love......i think that you have to be open......friendly ....and honest that you need to welcome opportunity...to take risks......to jump....asa woman i believe if a guy likes you really .....you dont have to chase them.....they make it known .....and arent shy to come forward even when they are shy at heart....i believe the same for females...if you like a guy you let them know as well....whomever feels that need that first push to make their feelings known...there shouldnt be a load of chasing on either side...it should feel right...not contrived or gamish......what will be will be..... i do know that love happens ......and you cant predict when or where or with whom...but it happens....can happen gradually or at first sight...no set rules or guidelines....so i guess you follow your heart wherever your heart takes you....without being so totally driven in the pursuit....but enjoying the possibility of what may become......with patience a love you wont forget....trust in the higher being who knows whats or who is right for you...and that person will come into your life...the rest is up to us .......deb 1
somedude81 Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 Yes guys will come to you. But first you have to put yourself in places were guys will approach. Also you need to let them know that it's safe to approach you. At least put in 40% effort. 1
Thegreatestthing Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 Noone will take the one who is destined for you. -Italian proverb 2
Got it Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 Life is for the willing. You want, go after it. You are no damsel in distress.
d0nnivain Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 I rarely had luck when I went out with the idea that I was going took hook up or find a BF on any given night. However, when I just went out to have fun with my friends, I often met someone. I knew my vibe was different: predator v approachable. The contradictory advice isn't so contradictory. It does requires you to leave your house but beyond that you don't have to actively look
Imported Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 Do what most women do. See a guy you like and do stuff to get his attention in the hopes he gets interested and starts the ball rolling. Like at the gym, girls seem to be walking in front of me a lot. I'd be walking towards them to pass on by, but they'd suddenly get up and be in front of me. Sometimes bumping into me. Then there are the sudden course changers, the crazy ivans, they'll be walking in front and then do a 180 either out of nowhere or right when they round a corner and bump into me. When I was younger, that had to happen three or four times before I started thinking it wasn't just because girls are clumsy as ****.
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