jjtr Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 I feel like this is an appropriate thread considering the holiday season is quickly approaching and gift giving in relationships can cause a headache for a lot of people. I'll be the first to admit that I am terrible, in general, when it comes to ideas for gifts. Whether it's family or close friends, I never know what to get without having to ask for ideas. Anyway, I am in a relatively new relationship with a girl, who I'm really into. I hadn't even started thinking about gifts yet for the holidays until, in casual conversation during a night out with her, her roommate and her roommates boyfriend that she already had three ideas for me for my birthday (which is a week before Christmas) and Christmas itself. This sort of sent me into a panic, as I felt bad for having not even given it a thought yet. We first met on August 1st and having been dating since then. Come Christmas, we will have been official for a few days under three months. I guess I'm wondering what is too much and what is too little. I've been having difficulty thinking of things. So far, the only idea I have is getting her a gift certificate for a professional massage, since she is in law school and has been very tense/stressed about all of that. Other than that, and a gag gift I plan on getting her, I know that she just got a new watch, has plenty of gadgets to cover her needs, etc. Ultimately, I think I am trying to toe the line between something that seems way too over the top, too soon and something that doesn't show enough appreciation. I'm open to any suggestions, but really also just want to get a conversation started about holiday gifts in general when in a fairly new relationship. What is expected? What is considering too much? Etc...
Elle1975 Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 I wouldn't go overboard, buying her a $200 jacket or something, but I would probably get her something original that won't put you on the spot. Once for a bf I bought the 3 books of a series I knew he really liked. It didn't spell marriage proposal, but it was personal enough. 2
d0nnivain Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 You have to get her something but it does not have to be the best gift she's ever gotten. I'd think about a scarf or chocolate, maybe mittens or some fun socks. Those gifts are kind of personal but not over the top like jewelry, perfume or lingerie The massage is too much. If you want to get her a law related gift a good cross pen would be nice if you want to spend that much; a leather portfolio would be nice; a framed law cartoon (search for law gifts on the internet); there's a book of legal cartoons put out by the publishers of the New Yorker Magazine. 2
avintagegirl Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 I happen to know a lot of female law students, so, going on that, I would say that the massage gift card sounds like a good plan. You could always plant that card in a basket of goodies to help her relax. A few ideas might include: A bottle of wine Fancypants hot chocolate Fancypants chocolate Bath salts or bath gel (lavender, chamomile, vanilla) Bubble bath Tea (Yogi tea makes one with lavender and chamomile that is great) A favorite movie - maybe a Christmas classic? Also I would say make a list on your phone and when she starts talking about things she likes (or anyone for that matter) type it in. I do this with the folks at work and by the time holidays roll around I am set to go. Heck, I give my co-worker ideas for our boss. 1
Author jjtr Posted December 13, 2014 Author Posted December 13, 2014 You have to get her something but it does not have to be the best gift she's ever gotten. I'd think about a scarf or chocolate, maybe mittens or some fun socks. Those gifts are kind of personal but not over the top like jewelry, perfume or lingerie The massage is too much. If you want to get her a law related gift a good cross pen would be nice if you want to spend that much; a leather portfolio would be nice; a framed law cartoon (search for law gifts on the internet); there's a book of legal cartoons put out by the publishers of the New Yorker Magazine. Do you feel like the massage is too much based on the intimacy of it or price point? I mean, I paid $50ish for dinner on our second date. An hour massage for $75 doesn't seem too much from a monetary standpoint. The reason it's the first thing on my list is because she has been so stressed and has been having a lot of neck/back issues related to that stress. For what it's worth, I ran the massage idea by her best friend and she seemed to think it was an awesome idea. I happen to know a lot of female law students, so, going on that, I would say that the massage gift card sounds like a good plan. You could always plant that card in a basket of goodies to help her relax. A few ideas might include: A bottle of wine Fancypants hot chocolate Fancypants chocolate Bath salts or bath gel (lavender, chamomile, vanilla) Bubble bath Tea (Yogi tea makes one with lavender and chamomile that is great) A favorite movie - maybe a Christmas classic? Also I would say make a list on your phone and when she starts talking about things she likes (or anyone for that matter) type it in. I do this with the folks at work and by the time holidays roll around I am set to go. Heck, I give my co-worker ideas for our boss. That's a good idea, although I think putting together a whole basket like that WITH the massage certificate might be a bit over the top at this point. 1
GemmaUK Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 A massage sounds great to me, not too much and not too little either. 1
todreaminblue Posted December 13, 2014 Posted December 13, 2014 find otu what the person loves.....and give a gift catered to that love...... i love things from different countries........my ex gave me an african fly swatter.....made from a bullocks tail.....it was cool ....and nothing that i could have expected.......it was a random no special occassion gift that had meaning behind it...... when i was sick in hospital he gave em a photo album with all my favorite photos in it....it was an album that tied up with pink ribbon...and the first shot in the album was of a dawn sunrise over the ocean that we took together from a balcony in the sky....... a beach holiday that was awesome....really lifted my spirits........i think gifts should have meaning.......they dont have to cost anything....it really is the thought behind the gift that does count...deb
Donnie Darko Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 Use the gift that she gives you for your birthday as a barometer for what to give her for Christmas. This way you can see how much she spends on you and mirror her gift giving behavior with your Christmas gift and you won't be giving too much or too little. I don't like the massage idea but if you are going to insist on doing it then make it a couples massage. If you know her pretty well, then you should be able to pick out some small inexpensive thoughtful gifts.
Jules Dash Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 I go by how intense the relationship is. If she sleeps over a lot and we are very physically intimate, I'm definitely getting her something more than pajamas with footsies at the bottom of them. It also depends on your income. If you are driving a Jag and own your own business and she cooks you a nice romantic dinner every couple of weeks, a massage probably won't do it. If you have been dating for 4 months, I would spend at least $100. It can be cheaper but it should be very thoughtful and personalized if it is less.
Eighty_nine Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 I think 5 months is a significant amount of time and that a massage gift card is totally appropriate.
Author jjtr Posted December 14, 2014 Author Posted December 14, 2014 Use the gift that she gives you for your birthday as a barometer for what to give her for Christmas. This way you can see how much she spends on you and mirror her gift giving behavior with your Christmas gift and you won't be giving too much or too little. I don't like the massage idea but if you are going to insist on doing it then make it a couples massage. If you know her pretty well, then you should be able to pick out some small inexpensive thoughtful gifts. I had thought about using that as a barometer, but it might not be the best measuring stick considering she has two occasions to buy for instead of one with my birthday and Christmas. I go by how intense the relationship is. If she sleeps over a lot and we are very physically intimate, I'm definitely getting her something more than pajamas with footsies at the bottom of them. It also depends on your income. If you are driving a Jag and own your own business and she cooks you a nice romantic dinner every couple of weeks, a massage probably won't do it. If you have been dating for 4 months, I would spend at least $100. It can be cheaper but it should be very thoughtful and personalized if it is less. There is definitely no Jag being driven by either of us.
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2014 Posted December 14, 2014 The amount of money is relative. You don't to tell me but the amount you spend should be on the lower end of your standard of living only because you want to be able to go up from there. Don't set the bar too high. I think the massage is to intimate. Others on this thread disagreed with me so you have to figure out what SHE would think
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