catchthedrift Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 I just broke it off with my ex a little over a month ago and I still love him. However, I don't see a realistic future for us, because at the moment we want different things, also he is much younger than me and I am looking for somebody who can commit to me. After all, I am almost 30. I have been busy with university and meeting friends, working etc. Didn't think it would happen and wasn't looking for it, but back in September I met this guy through a friend, and last week we had this really great conversation at a party for the first time. We had really great chemistry. He is two yours older and this is nice, since I am usually dating much younger guys. So we ended up hanging out the next day and the day after, and pretty much every day the past week except for one day. We haven't kissed yet, really are just spending time together, but he told me he is romantically interested and has been since he first saw me 2 months ago. He's not my type, not the kind of guy I would usually go for, but he's smart and makes me laugh and it's simple with him. I think I am not ready to seriously date someone but life often happens when you least expect it. My friends tell me I should just pursue it, it would be good for me. But at the same time I feel it is not fair to him because I still very much linger emotionally after my ex-boyfriend (although completely consciously aware that the break up was final, and i initiated it). I told him this. He knows. He is very persistent though and wants to date me. I am only single for a month now after having been in a relationship for a year. I was enjoying the freedom last month, focusing a bit on myself and not having to invest in someone else all the time. So for me this was an enjoyable month (not that I don't enjoy the company of a partner), and I enjoy my independence. I feel partially I am not ready, but if I don't pursue it I might miss out on possibly being with an amazing guy? He's just making me feel soooo good and he seems like the perfect person to be with, for me. I want to take things real slow but it's difficult since we really see each other so often and neither of us wants to cut it down. We say, lets not meet tomorrow, and then we find ourselves sitting across from each other at a cafe, wondering how that happened What do you suggest I do?
preraph Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 Set some ground rules. Tell him exactly what you said here about how you were so enjoying your freedom and extra time for yourself. Agree to only see him once a week and see how things go. Don't encourage him to keep up with you every single day if you're wanting some space now. Take it slow. You did just break up recently. You probably do need some time to yourself now. Once a week is no unreasonable for two busy people.
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