insert_name Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 Got a response from a girl the morning after I initially messaged her in the early hours of the night before towards the middle of last week. So I messaged back after work that day. I saw she was on chat later and then was online for quite a while afterwards but no reply to my message. Never heard back from her after that so assumed she wasn't interested and so I moved on. Now I notice that she replied this morning, I saw the first line of her message apologising and that she was away from her computer at the weekend. I have already decided that I can't be bothered to respond . She was on chat obviously talking to someone and was online for quite a while without sending a response afterwards so it seems to me that she may have had a date its fallen through and now its back to me. Fair enough, I understand that women get so many messages and options that they can work it a bit, I just think that if the girl is genuinely interested from the start she will keep up the communication and if she doesn't its not worth pursuing. So I just wondered how other guys approach it if they suspect that the girl is using you as a fallback option? Do you still go ahead or take the potential interest in someone else as a bad sign?
normal person Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 Expecting someone to be "genuinely interested" before she even meets you is a bit of a reach. She doesn't owe you anything. There were guys going after her long before you got in touch, that's just the way it is. 2
Author insert_name Posted November 16, 2014 Author Posted November 16, 2014 Expecting someone to be "genuinely interested" before she even meets you is a bit of a reach. She doesn't owe you anything. There were guys going after her long before you got in touch, that's just the way it is. Oh yeah I totally get that they are dealing with other guys as I said, its just not my thing really to take it any further when thats the case. I've seen girls on here before say that if they think the guy could be a catch they won't leave it days without a response no matter what is going on. And I wasn't instantly suggesting a meet, she could have sent a 'holding' message to show she was still interested. When I have had this before its always evolved into a sort of pen pal setup before the girl disappears. Just wondering how everyone else approaches it.
normal person Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 When I have had this before its always evolved into a sort of pen pal setup before the girl disappears. Just wondering how everyone else approaches it. Well then don't let it be a pen pal situation. Get her number and go out with her before you bore her to tears. She likely wouldn't have replied if she wasn't open to seeing you. She's giving you the benefit of the doubt, which should be appreciated. If it doesn't work out, just move on. That's probably what she did with whatever guy she was talking to before you -- it didn't work out, so she moved on. That's just the natural evolution of these things. It seems to me you're taking it a bit serious. 1
MsSmurf Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 So when you find a girl online that you're interested in you cease all contact with every single other girl online? You also decline to talk to girls while out and about because you are now only available to this one girl from online that you haven't met yet? I agree that you're taking this way to seriously and are overreacting about her interest level. If she wasn't at all interested in you she wouldn't have ever responded. Maybe she is being messaged by other guys, maybe she's using the chat feature to talk to other guys, maybe when she said she was busy she was, maybe she forgot to log out.... does it really matter? At this point she doesn't owe you anything. I get that you don't want a pen pal, but you also don't want to shoot yourself in the foot by assuming that's how she sees you. If you want to really get to know her and see if she's into you then get her number and get offline. 1
guest569 Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 I don't see the harm in giving her a chance. Maybe she was away from her computer and had checked the messages on her phone (hence she appeared as online) but waited until she was back home before responding. If you were genuinely interested in her, I think you would have overlooked this. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 Got a response from a girl the morning after I initially messaged her in the early hours of the night before towards the middle of last week. So I messaged back after work that day. I saw she was on chat later and then was online for quite a while afterwards but no reply to my message. Never heard back from her after that so assumed she wasn't interested and so I moved on. Now I notice that she replied this morning, I saw the first line of her message apologising and that she was away from her computer at the weekend. I have already decided that I can't be bothered to respond . She was on chat obviously talking to someone and was online for quite a while without sending a response afterwards so it seems to me that she may have had a date its fallen through and now its back to me. Fair enough, I understand that women get so many messages and options that they can work it a bit, I just think that if the girl is genuinely interested from the start she will keep up the communication and if she doesn't its not worth pursuing. So I just wondered how other guys approach it if they suspect that the girl is using you as a fallback option? Do you still go ahead or take the potential interest in someone else as a bad sign? Your thinking is just wrong. When in the arena of OLD, women have hundreds and hundreds of options, and any male sincerely believing that he is THE best of them, is a crazy person. SO, if you're a guy into OLD then you have to treat every interaction as if you are not on THE very top of the list/pile. Much of dating/mating, in general, is more a case of two people EACH reaching a point/moment of deep vulnerability at the same time as one another, and it is that moment for which you should be planning, and not the absurd ego boost that would be your being at the top of her list 1
Recommended Posts