Girlfriend wants to work at Hooters

[SalchiPapa]

So, the title of my post says it all...

 

 

My GF of about 1 1/2 years wants to work at Hooters to make some extra cash. She asked if it was ok with me (which I like) and I told her that I am not thrilled or overwhelmed with joy about it but its ok as long as it isn't long term. I am not really a jealous BF but I am not really too happy about it. I do trust her but we all know how guys are. My GF has the body to work there so the other side of me thinks that if guys are going to gawk about her boobs when she's not working she might use them to make money.

 

 

In reality Hooters girls don't dress much different than some girls do to go to the mall or shopping - and for sure better than girls who go out dancing! But my GF is kind of self-conscious about her boobs and doesn't like to wear low-cut shirts so I guess what bothers me is all of a sudden is that she wants to show some cleavage.

 

 

I don't want to be the douche-bag controlling boyfriend. Not in my genes or my personality but I don't want to seem like I don't care what she does.

 

 

I guess I am looking for some input and opinions. Am I wrong to feel a little uncomfortable?

 

 

Thanks in advance

[Art_Critic]

Isn't this really all her decision, it's her job, her body and it isn't like she is stripping, it's hooters...

 

I'm not a hooters fan but it's just skimpy outfits so they get good tips..

[KatZee]

Eh, honestly, I think Hooters held a lot more weight as a "sexy, hot, fun, boobie place" a long time ago. It's so worn out and played out.

 

No one really goes to Hooters anymore to troll on these women. I've gone to Hooters a few times and maybe it was just the locations I was in, but I've seen some busted waitresses there. Stained uniforms, pregnant, overweight, hot messes.

 

I remember another one I went into and it just smelled like stale strip club. It was so gross. In this instance, no one was even looking at the servers. It was 90% empty with most patrons at the bar watching sports games.

[sagetalk]

I guess I am looking for some input and opinions. Am I wrong to feel a little uncomfortable?

 

No, you are not wrong. She is definitely putting herself on display by working at Hooters, it should trouble you. The question is, do you trust her? If so, then you need to let her make the decision. Let her know that it isn't where you would prefer her to work. If you get married, I'd tell her to stop working there.

 

I dated a girl once who thought I would be angry if she tried out for a professional team's cheerleading squad (due to guys gawking at her). I said go for it. She never did, but she really liked the answer.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Let her make money with that body while she still has it, she won't be young forever...if it'll bring in a few extra dollars just to let a restaurant full of married men gawk at her covered breast and short shorts then let them...they're paying way too much for that anyway...and she's working at a pretty casual/regular business, these things are on street corners not a shady looking place with neon flickering lights.

 

I wouldn't let it bother you even though it's not the nicest thing to think about, but guys are going to check out your woman regardless of what she's wearing if she's got a decent body, we all know that as men too...and they do it for free, but you wouldn't make her not wear shorts or a certain shirt.

 

So I understand it'll make you a bit uncomfortable, but let her give it a try first and be supportive over it, she might not even like or even get the job in the end. I definitely wouldn't be the jealous BF out of it, demanding that she cannot work there...that's just make you look like a p***y IMO.

 

There are some bars in Los Angeles where girls work as bartenders in bikinis and other bars where they strip, it's not that big of a deal, and they make damn good money for it...and half of them are flat-chested and not even necessarily attractive, it's a good thing for them men aren't that picky...it pays the bills.

[truth_seeker]

Why can't she get a job at a "classier" place? It's obvious you don't like the idea of her working there, so do some work on your own and suggest other establishments she could work at and make just as good money.

[carhill]

ExW and I used to go to Hooters occasionally, usually at her insistence. I always found the young ladies to be not really scantily dressed, at least compared to what I've been used to here in California over the decades, and most identified themselves as college students and were well-spoken, polite and attentive. I didn't tip based on the size of their breasts or amount of skin shown but rather on the quality of service, which was generally pretty good and in line with other restaurants we'd frequent. Overall, the place had a lively young feel which both exW and I found energizing; it was probably a bit over-priced but the food was good and the beer was cold. Would I mind a grand-daughter working there? Not at the one we frequented.

[d0nnivain]

You are right you can't tell her not to. You can tell her if you would rather she work somewhere else.

[MercuryMorrison1]

Express your opinion, but don't try to control her.

 

If she still goes to work there despite your disapproval...Then at least see if you can some discounts on lunch!

[SalchiPapa]

Ok so here it goes...

 

 

Yes, it's her decision but if she's asking me permission than I guess I am a part-owner of her body! LOL! When I first told her I wasn't really thrilled about the idea she just let it go but I guess she heard that the money is pretty good there so she just figured she'd ask me again.

 

 

I was at Hooter's once a long time ago and it did nothing for me. I just can't imagine going to Hooter's to watch a football game or big sporting event!

 

 

She did tell her mom about this and her mom wasn't overly thrilled about it. She usually listens to her mom so let's see how it plays out.

 

 

When I saw her a little while ago I said I do trust her and that I know her reasons for working there are strictly to make money to better herself and her daughter (She is currently taking classes in the medical field and works a full time job and is completely self-sufficient. She has never asked me for a dime) but it just bothers me a little. I told her that if she decides to accept the job that I will do my best not let it bother me too much.

 

 

I also said that I don't want her to get comfortable there and get lazy about seeking a "career" instead of having a "job."

 

 

We shall see......................................................

 

 

Thanks for the replies

[preraph]

It may not be a stripper place, but strippers are recruited out of Hooters. It has no future at all because you have to fit the clothes. It's had problems (not unlike other places) with sort of exploitation and/or disrespect from the managers. I certainly wouldn't want anyone I know working there. It's not good to get used to the idea of selling your body and that is what it's about.

[newmoon]

you're right to express concerns but even more awesome by being supportive. sometimes just having a supportive bf can make a girl change her mind because she isn't getting the opposition she might be expecting. tell her you'll be her best customer, and that gives you an opportunity to go in and visit often to see what's going on inside.

[maysj18]

By working at Hooters, you are giving customers a green light to flirt, gawk, and hit on you. Hooters girls are seen as trashy and easy because they choose to work at a low class restaurant. By working there, they are agreeing to use their bodies and sexual appeal to sell food (it says this on their website). So yes, you have every right to not want your girlfriend working there. The outfits may not be shockingly slutty, but it's the atmosphere that the Hooters corporation WANTS to create that's the problem. I've known 4 girls who worked there and none of them enjoyed it. They said the money wasn't all that great considering what they had to put up with.

 

I was a waitress at a chain restaurant, wearing a black polo buttoned all the way up my neck and long black pants. The tips were great and very comparable to what the Hooters girls make, so don't believe that they make this crazy money every single night. I also didn't have to deal with harassment just to make some extra cash. To work at Hooters, you have to be okay with certain things that other waitresses don't have to deal with. It is a trashy job, plain and simple. It's her decision, but it's not something you have to be okay with.

[SalchiPapa]

Preraph... Thanks for the heads up about the recruitment tactics. I didn't even think of that. As far as how the manager can be - I know my GF wouldn't put up with harassment. She'd quit. Or at least I hope she would.

 

 

Newmoon... Thanks for seeing it like I do. I am always supportive in the things she does - and truly hope that she turns it down or only works a couple days at most. She told me to come every night during or after work but I wouldn't want to be there all the time. I'll look like the biggest loser, stalker and most insecure BF! But for her to tell me to visit shows me that she really has nothing to hide.

 

 

Maysj18... I believe that once she starts working there she'll realize how great it really isn't. She's very self conscious about her body (sometimes she doesn't think she has a great body but the publics eye says otherwise) and don't think she'll deal with the harassment for too long. She has a bad temper sometimes. She's from South America! Thanks for your comments. Coming from someone who was a waitress I really appreciate your thoughts.

[BeholdtheMan]

I don't want to be the douche-bag controlling boyfriend. Not in my genes or my personality but I don't want to seem like I don't care what she does

 

You have two choices (it seems like you've already picked)

 

1. Tell her you can't accept her working at a place like Hooters. She will argue with you and you might have to walk away from her

 

2. Tell her it's OK even though it's really eating you up side. You seem to have chosen this route. If that's the case, you simply have to deal with it, get over your distaste.

 

Always keep in mind that you're not a man without options. If something bad does happen because of her job at Hooters (unlikely but possible, i.e. an attractive customer flirts with her and the two end up exchanging numbers, having sex)...ditch her and find a worthier woman.

 

I will say this though...cheaters tend to cheat regardless of their job environments. Where there is a will there is a way. Of course, a highly sexually charged environment doesn't help, but I don't think Hooters is that bad really.

[Ninjainpajamas]

By working at Hooters, you are giving customers a green light to flirt, gawk, and hit on you.

 

Men really don't need a "green light" to do anything like that, of course in an establishment like that they'd feel much more comfortable...but that's mainly because you're available and more open and communicative then you'd ever be in person in a normal place. Men want to talk to women everywhere else, they just don't have those avenues opened so easily as they do when you work there and are forced to give attention and be nice.

 

Hooters girls are seen as trashy and easy because they choose to work at a low class restaurant.

 

A little more trashy reputation but I've known older people to go there as couples and such, I've never personally heard from anyone it was a trashy place in LA.

 

And any guy who has been to an establishment where women work they learn that some women don't tolerate that kind of behavior or treatment, so I don't think it has to be low-class, it depends on the attitude and behavior of the woman.

 

By working there, they are agreeing to use their bodies and sexual appeal to sell food (it says this on their website). So yes, you have every right to not want your girlfriend working there. The outfits may not be shockingly slutty, but it's the atmosphere that the Hooters corporation WANTS to create that's the problem. I've known 4 girls who worked there and none of them enjoyed it. They said the money wasn't all that great considering what they had to put up with.

 

Probably has a lot to do with location and city. I don't think a lot of women necessarily find it enjoyable to be gawked and drooled over, but it's definitely not exclusive to working at a restaurant...but she wants to put herself in that situation, and so did your friends.

 

And you mentioned you worked at a restaurant, well I hate to tell you...but your sex appeal sold food in exchange for attention. You don't need to be half-naked....your youth, your pretty face is enough for men to want to jizz all over your face...they need very little to see you sexually and how you dress can have little impact on their minds. You don't understand how men's minds work judging from these last two paragraphs.

 

I was a waitress at a chain restaurant, wearing a black polo buttoned all the way up my neck and long black pants. The tips were great and very comparable to what the Hooters girls make, so don't believe that they make this crazy money every single night. I also didn't have to deal with harassment just to make some extra cash. To work at Hooters, you have to be okay with certain things that other waitresses don't have to deal with. It is a trashy job, plain and simple. It's her decision, but it's not something you have to be okay with.

 

I can't attest to what job is trashier, but I've dated waitresses before and they had to deal with some form of sexual harassment, especially with alcohol involved. The smart women I've seen just milk it and don't even give anything in return other than fake interest and smiles.

 

I've been to plenty of restaurants to see the cute, young, bubbly hostess or waitress be continually hit on without showing any interest and being forced to serve these men as they wait with a grin on their face for her to return. I've seen some hardcore hitting on just from normal and regular establishments...so I think honestly flirtation comes with the territory of service, even for men which women fail to remember as women can be extremely straight-forward and flirty.

 

The point I'm trying to make maysj18 is men are going to objectify you whether you like it or not, so you might as well make money doing it as long as you are safe...and you may not be dressed "slutty", but you've got the hair and make-up put together and that's enough because for men it means you obviously want some attention and trying to look attractive for someone. Young women are notorious for needing cheap validation in order to feel attractive, and men are happy to serve it just like you serving those chicken fingers.

[Leigh 87]

I would only work at a place like that if I was desperate.

 

I would first try to work in a classier place, and if I wasn't up to speed (not just anyone can be a waitress at the good or even the average venues), then I would reluctantly start at hooters and get the waitressing experience I needed in order to then look for a job at a better establishment....

 

People are going to judger her for working there.

 

I would be embarrassed to work there personally at my age.

 

I wouldn't hold it against a young age college kid who needed to put themselves through but older people that work there, well, one is going to question; where did they go wrong in life?

 

I am about to start college and need that sort of a job so I work at markets selling gourmet products; I am seen as a hippy (for working at markets!) but boy I like the job and it isn't a low class job so people don't assume bad things about me (especially since I also manufacture the food I sell).

[Lernaean_Hydra]

By working at Hooters, you are giving customers a green light to flirt, gawk, and hit on you. Hooters girls are seen as trashy and easy because they choose to work at a low class restaurant. By working there, they are agreeing to use their bodies and sexual appeal to sell food (it says this on their website). So yes, you have every right to not want your girlfriend working there. The outfits may not be shockingly slutty, but it's the atmosphere that the Hooters corporation WANTS to create that's the problem. I've known 4 girls who worked there and none of them enjoyed it. They said the money wasn't all that great considering what they had to put up with.

 

Sometimes I read posts like this with people commenting on bars, clubs and places like Hooters and such and I can't help but ask myself "Have these people actually ever been to any of these places or...!?" It's not a brothel and compared with places like The Heart Attack Grill where the waitresses dress as slutty nurses, Hooters outfits are pretty damn tame. And as far as the waitresses being seen as low class? I've never heard that in my life.

 

Men don't need a green light to do anything. Men flirted with me when I worked as a barista - and I think we all know there's hardly a way to sex up a coffee server's usual attire of Dickies and a polo. However most men don't treat Hooter girls as sex workers and there's quite a number of them who go there with their wives or girlfriends or in large mixed sex groups and behave themselves completely.

 

Anyway OP, I get that you're uncomfortable with the idea of your girlfriend working at Hooters but honestly, it's not that serious. Waitresses, especially young and pretty ones get flirted with no matter where they work, as a matter of course.

 

You're entitled to your feelings but you'd do well to really examine why you're bothered. Do you think she'll cheat? Do you just not like the idea of men looking at her body, possibly in a sexual manner? Because if so, I hate to tell you this but men are already doing that every day with the same results - i.e. she pays them no attention and hasn't run off with one of them yet - only she's not getting paid for it.

[Gloria25]

I think she's a winner...

 

Think of all the money she'll be bringing in...probably in tips!!!

[maysj18]

Men really don't need a "green light" to do anything like that, of course in an establishment like that they'd feel much more comfortable...but that's mainly because you're available and more open and communicative then you'd ever be in person in a normal place. Men want to talk to women everywhere else, they just don't have those avenues opened so easily as they do when you work there and are forced to give attention and be nice.

 

 

 

A little more trashy reputation but I've known older people to go there as couples and such, I've never personally heard from anyone it was a trashy place in LA.

 

And any guy who has been to an establishment where women work they learn that some women don't tolerate that kind of behavior or treatment, so I don't think it has to be low-class, it depends on the attitude and behavior of the woman.

 

 

 

Probably has a lot to do with location and city. I don't think a lot of women necessarily find it enjoyable to be gawked and drooled over, but it's definitely not exclusive to working at a restaurant...but she wants to put herself in that situation, and so did your friends.

 

And you mentioned you worked at a restaurant, well I hate to tell you...but your sex appeal sold food in exchange for attention. You don't need to be half-naked....your youth, your pretty face is enough for men to want to jizz all over your face...they need very little to see you sexually and how you dress can have little impact on their minds. You don't understand how men's minds work judging from these last two paragraphs.

 

 

 

I can't attest to what job is trashier, but I've dated waitresses before and they had to deal with some form of sexual harassment, especially with alcohol involved. The smart women I've seen just milk it and don't even give anything in return other than fake interest and smiles.

 

I've been to plenty of restaurants to see the cute, young, bubbly hostess or waitress be continually hit on without showing any interest and being forced to serve these men as they wait with a grin on their face for her to return. I've seen some hardcore hitting on just from normal and regular establishments...so I think honestly flirtation comes with the territory of service, even for men which women fail to remember as women can be extremely straight-forward and flirty.

 

The point I'm trying to make maysj18 is men are going to objectify you whether you like it or not, so you might as well make money doing it as long as you are safe...and you may not be dressed "slutty", but you've got the hair and make-up put together and that's enough because for men it means you obviously want some attention and trying to look attractive for someone. Young women are notorious for needing cheap validation in order to feel attractive, and men are happy to serve it just like you serving those chicken fingers.

 

My entire point was that at a restaurant like Hooters, where a sex-driven atmosphere is purposefully created by the company, the overall experience for a waitress is going to be different than at say, Applebees or Outback. You said it yourself: men feel more comfortable and less inhibited at places like Hooters because it's encouraged to a certain extent. No girl with any self-esteem would work somewhere like that. As a Hooters waitress, you're expected to reciprocate the flirting (again, to a certain extent) that waitresses at other restaurants don't have to deal with if they don't want to. My manager never questioned us if we felt uncomfortable. He kicked one man out who was being too friendly with his waitress and the guy actually said "I'll just go next door to Hooters because those girls like when I talk to them like this!" as he stormed out. No boyfriend should want his girlfriend to work at a place like that- not because he's controlling, but because he cares about her. I also think it says a lot about a woman if she's willing to work at a place like that, regardless of the money.

 

But again, you really are just proving my point. We're gawked at constantly, yelled at, hit on, harassed- why work somewhere where that's completely acceptable? "Family restaurant" or not, you're going to get at least one table a night of immature horndogs who just say and do whatever they want. Regardless of what went through their minds, 99% of the men I waited on at my restaurant never flirted or made me uncomfortable. I wasn't bombarded with small talk, compliments, or people asking me for my number. It was very professional and just totally normal. I'm not saying they respected me or weren't wanting to "jizz on my face", but it's just not socially acceptable to act that way in most situations which makes me feel protected in a sense.

[Ninjainpajamas]

My entire point was that at a restaurant like Hooters, where a sex-driven atmosphere is purposefully created by the company, the overall experience for a waitress is going to be different than at say, Applebees or Outback.

 

I think this is a bit exaggerated because at the end of the day it sells food, not sex. I've talked to women that have went there before to eat and like I said, nobody ever came away and told me that is a raunchy, classless and dirty establishment...they said the chicken wings were pretty good.

 

Men are going to go to a place like that to eat, watch sports, hangout and look at hopefully a few decent looking younger women, which they would do anywhere anyway and whom are likely wearing as much clothes or even less in public.

 

But it's not a strip-club, and I doubt many men would go out of their way to pay just to see women in their short shorts and shirts when they could go somewhere else and see some actual breasts.

 

You said it yourself: men feel more comfortable and less inhibited at places like Hooters because it's encouraged to a certain extent. No girl with any self-esteem would work somewhere like that. As a Hooters waitress, you're expected to reciprocate the flirting (again, to a certain extent) that waitresses at other restaurants don't have to deal with if they don't want to. My manager never questioned us if we felt uncomfortable. He kicked one man out who was being too friendly with his waitress and the guy actually said "I'll just go next door to Hooters because those girls like when I talk to them like this!" as he stormed out. No boyfriend should want his girlfriend to work at a place like that- not because he's controlling, but because he cares about her. I also think it says a lot about a woman if she's willing to work at a place like that, regardless of the money.

 

I don't know how less inhibited they will act out or not, I've never seen a guy necessarily let the environment determine his judgment or behavior.

 

When I was a teenager I worked at a grocery store, a grocery store with very ugly uniforms. One of the cashiers was an exotic looking, long dark-haired like on the shampoo commercials who simply rang out customers for their groceries.

 

You as a woman, would probably thing the hideous brown shirt, dark green pants and solid black shoes would somehow deter men from finding her in any kind of way appealing...well I had to bag groceries on her aisle quite frequently and I had to sit there waiting at the bag area while guy after guy after guy, intentionally stood in her aisle while the next two lanes were practically empty...but her aisle had about 20 men in it to no surprise, waltz down the lane using just about every line and flirtatious remark you could think it...it was such a pain in the @ss for me, as I had little interest in waiting there watching that crap but nope, every damn day same thing all of the time...the woman was "harassed" every day by some women's standards and at the end of the day she didn't even get any tips, she could've made a fortune being the crappiest waitress known to man and no guy would've cared but nope, for some reason she wanted to do that.

 

No guy cared it was a grocery store, no guy cared what she was wearing, no guy cared about the 50 year old lady in the next lane starring at them with no customers as she tried to call over one of the 10 men in line waiting for her.

 

Does it say something about her for going through that? yeah IMO it does, she should've been cashing in that cow while she was young and beautiful...now she's probably around 40 with kids, hopefully not still at the grocery store but could've easily married some wealthy guy if she wanted to as I heard offers practically every day as we worked in a wealthy area. But she can't do it now, so strike the iron while it's hot I'd say, if men are willing to pay just to take a look at your pretty young face if you've got the choice.

 

And for the record, he's more worried about his uncomfortable feelings and any insecurity than he is worried about her safety, as I doubt she'll be in any real danger. You make it sound like a dark back alley in a bad neighborhood at 1 am...it's a restaurant in public, with windows, with normal people inside, even families too...those parents must want to sacrifice their children for chicken wings.

 

But again, you really are just proving my point. We're gawked at constantly, yelled at, hit on, harassed- why work somewhere where that's completely acceptable? "Family restaurant" or not, you're going to get at least one table a night of immature horndogs who just say and do whatever they want. Regardless of what went through their minds, 99% of the men I waited on at my restaurant never flirted or made me uncomfortable. I wasn't bombarded with small talk, compliments, or people asking me for my number. It was very professional and just totally normal. I'm not saying they respected me or weren't wanting to "jizz on my face", but it's just not socially acceptable to act that way in most situations which makes me feel protected in a sense.

 

I've been a man 34 years and been around men for that long, and still socialize with guys younger than you as acquaintances, and guys older than myself as as I always have done...there is no point you have to prove to me when it comes to men.

 

Men have dirty minds, and they only get more comfortable with that as they get older. The younger guys are just a little more shy and reserved about it...usually.

 

Men have an immature horndog mentality a part of them, it's pretty normal. What do you think they see when they look at you? you think they like you for your personality without even hearing you speak? you're not protected, it's just an illusion....the law is the only that can come in and protect you at the end of the day.

 

If you worked at a place where everyone treated you like it was in a church, and you got paid well...then I'd say you've had a pretty good thing.

 

But don't get it twisted, social etiquette might make you believe something else, but in their minds these guys are checking you out just the same. I don't care what kind of suit he's wearing, what he's preaching or selling, or what planet of "different" where the men are pious and respectful and don't sexualize and objectify women in some way, it's in our damn nature.

 

You might as well make a buck off of it. I've had some very nice things thanks to men from the women I've dated who worked in some kind of service including waitresses, I should in fact send them a thank you card.

[Thegreatestthing]

You can't stop her from showing her boobs,there's really nothing you can do.

just get use to guys looking at them and hitting on her,before you know it she'll be 40 and noone will care.

[Omei]

I'll just say this the only reason I would never work at hooters is because I wouldnt be able to deal with all the judgmental a.ssholes that would define me as a person when they heard I was working there. •cough judgmental girls cough• oops!

 

They serve food not sex if you have a nice booty and bust to get better tips from strangers you will never see or talk to again to hell with it stare and give me the money.

Edited November 17, 2014 by Omei

[Els]

If you're uncomfortable with the idea, then talk to her about it. You're correct in that you have no right to TELL her what to do, but given that both of you are a long-term couple, you certainly have the right to give her your opinion or preference.

[SalchiPapa]

I thank everyone for their comments and opinions. I am not going to stop her from working there if she decides to take the job. She is her own person and will make her decisions. I will do my best NOT to show that it bothers me or how I feel. I will let her be.

 

 

A friend of mine today told me to relax - everything will be fine. It's not a big deal he says because you know at the end of the day (or night) she's yours. I need to be a little more open minded and let her do her thing. He knows her and thinks all she wants to do is make money so she can better herself and her daughter. He said to try to not to let it bother me too much and to just go with the flow. All will be ok in the end.

 

 

I hope he's right.

 

 

I shall keep you posted. Thanks again