regrets of how i was in a relationship

[lionnick]

i should have done this or that or spent more time with her

 

thats the worst part of this breakup

 

example..girl i was dating got us baseball tickets. i was excited as hell. but unfortunately i couldnt go because of work due to staff shortages. she said she understood but without a doubt that was the worst feeling ever telling her that.

 

also regret not going to see her more, she always came to me. with our schedules it was easier for her to come but i always felt like i could have put more effort into it

 

how do you get over the regret?

[Quest]

Depends what you want, maybe. If you really regret not just some of the things you did or didn't do but also losing the relationship and you think some of things you are regretting caused the break-up then you could tell your ex, or write to her, and see if you can sort things out. But that would only work if she's also regretting the break-up and it was all about these things.

Otherwise, I think it's just about having to accept you could have done some things differently and hopefully learning from them, not beating yourself up.

[d0nnivain]

You didn't break up because you couldn't go to a baseball game. Work has to come 1st.

 

 

You get over the regret by realizing that hindsight is 20/20 & acknowledging that the decisions you made were appropriate at the time. There will always be things you could have done better but that's life.

[lionnick]

maybe its just the process? idk i just am in regret

[Ajax]

I'm also wrestling with regret in how I handled some things in my relationship. I took my ex for granted in some ways, while simultaneously feeling like she was taking me for granted yet was unable to express those feelings. It hurts to know that you had a heavy hand in how things ended.

 

I've heard people who say they don't go through life with any regrets. Frankly I've always felt that that's a pretty self centered approach to life. It's not good to dwell on them or let them overshadow the positive things you've done, but without regret we don't grow. It's regret that helps us learn to do things better the next time, to treat people better and gives us hope for a better outcome.

 

The fact that you regret your part in your relationship's failure is a good sign. It shows that you're a feeling human being who can identify and react to the pain you cause other people. It shows that you have the capacity to grow.