Groovy Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 I am 32 and have never lived with anyone. I have let only 2 or 3 men sleepover. Unlike most women, I could really care less. The guy I am dating now is spending the night. He is 6' 8" and likes to cuddle in my full size bed. I am usually thinking "I'm trying to sleep, f_ck off". And sometimes he snores and breathes like Darth Vader. And when he get's up I am not used to the noise and wake up. Of course there is hardly any room for me either. But despite it all I love him there and hate that I can't sleep wel.. And I think if my goal in relationships is to marry someone some day I would like to get used to their body laying next to mine. I also just like him being there and wish I didn't need to sleep, ever..... so I could just enjoy him. But then I wake up sleepy all day because I guess I just didn't sleep as solid as I usually do. How long does it take to get used to their presence when you are used to sprawling out and hogging the bed in silence alone for years? Has anyone else struggled with the snoring, the body spooning with you andit being nice but annoying?
bluetuesday Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 i'm feeling this one. i like to sleep alone. because i sleep in a starfish shape but also because i never sleep as well with someone else there. i struggle with it all. the snoring, the loud breathing, the farting. particularly the farting. i just can't do it as freely with someone else there but seriously, i want my own bed. i'm 32 and i'm used to my own bed. i've paid for it, leave me alone to sleep in it. if i want sex i'll come and knock on your bedroom door.
EIN Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Visit the local Cuddle Club in your city. For those that do not know about this, it is a club where you pay a fee to cuddle with other people just to feel another body presense. There are cuddle watchers during the session to make sure that there is nothing more going on that cuddling. This club is Co-ed so you would be cuddling with a guy or girl whomever you choose.
alphamale Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Originally posted by Groovy I am 32 ... How long does it take to get used to their presence when you are used to sprawling out and hogging the bed in silence alone for years? Ahhh GROOVY, as we age we get more and more set in our ways. this is a perfect example of it. In a new marriage little items like these all add up to sometimes cause big problems. What I would suggest is that you get earplugs or soemthing like that or maybe there is something he can do to cut down his snoring, like losing a bit of weight. You are a nice girl GROOVY and I wish I were that man sleepin' next to you at nite. Wait, did I just say that?!?
bluetuesday Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Originally posted by EIN Visit the local Cuddle Club in your city. For those that do not know about this, it is a club where you pay a fee to cuddle with other people just to feel another body presense. There are cuddle watchers during the session to make sure that there is nothing more going on that cuddling. This club is Co-ed so you would be cuddling with a guy or girl whomever you choose. i've read some sad things on the shack. this is without doubt the saddest.
Merin Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Bust out the Credit card and get a King size bed! LOL I love when my BF stays over with me... LOL he is out in like 2 minutes, he doesn't snore and when he gets up on sundays he gets me coffee' yay for that! I do feel you on the not enough room deal.. omg when I was with my EXBF sometimes we would sleep in his barracks.. with a freakin twin size bed WTF?! As much as I liked sleeping next to him... the small bed was pretty miserable.
Donut Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 One thing I have to be glad about the split with the ex is that I don't have to listen to his earth shattering snoring anymore! Put earplugs in but it still kept me up.
Merin Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Originally posted by Donut One thing I have to be glad about the split with the ex is that I don't have to listen to his earth shattering snoring anymore! Put earplugs in but it still kept me up. I used to kick my EXH when he started snoring! I don't miss the snoring.. but I do miss kicking him
EIN Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 bluetuesday, I myself have not participated but this club is intended for those who have not had alot of human presence in their personal lives (as described by the forum started) to get acquainted with the idea of sleeping with someone next to them.
FolderWife Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 Duh! I'm sure someone else has said this, but GET A KING SIZED BED!
brashgal Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 When I was married I solved this issue by buying a King Size bed. I don't mind the occasional cuddle, etc but when it's time to sleep I don't want anyone touching me.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 16, 2005 Posted March 16, 2005 My XH snored terribly. We didn't sleep in the same room for the last three years. He even had surgery to correct and it didn't help a bit! My now BF snores a little. I just pop some earplugs in and it's fine. He's much taller than me but I love sleeping with him. He's like Merin's bf- if he gets up before me I have breakfast waiting on me when I wake up!
Pendawn Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 Oh i feel this too! I rarely stayed with my ex, but when i did I never slept well because there was always too much snoring, some kind of limb flying, while i'm sleeping on 2 inches of bed and trying not to move. In general it was not a fun experience, i'd rather go home and get a good sleep! However this weekend I will be staying with new guy for teh first time, no idea how it's going to go. I'm nervous becuase i WANT tog et a good sleep, fingers corssed he's not a snorer/fidgeter. With my ex I never had any desire to cuddle up to him to go to sleep, in fact I'd turn my back but weirdly I am REALLY looking forward to falling alseep in new guy's arms.
CurvyGurl Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 I find I really don't mind sharing my bed but I don't sleep well when someone is there. I spend the rest of the day napping after they leave.
curiousnycgirl Posted March 17, 2005 Posted March 17, 2005 It takes time, although a big guy in a full size bed certainly makes it way more difficult. When I first started dating my boyfriend I would not let him spend the night, because I like my space. Needless to say I had to get over that! The first few times I barely got any sleep - at that point I was so tired I HAD to sleep. I think that's just about when I got over it. Now I have no trouble at all! I would suggest you sleep at his house, until you get used to it, assuming he has a bigger bed! At least then you'll have more space to adjust - then go back to your bed and get used to the two of you there.
Author Groovy Posted April 16, 2005 Author Posted April 16, 2005 Well, a king bed is a lot of money. I told him if we get engaged he can buy the ring and I will buy the bed. It's not so much his body next to me but his snoring, ou vey. I haven't slept on the couch because I know it would hurt his feelings. His not even that bad, I am just a real light sleeper. He has a queen, not much bigger than a full, just 5 inches I think. He also has cats which I am severly allergic to, they give me asthma attacks so I never go there. (If we live together he will give them to his parents). I know, I am such high maintenance! But maybe with a bigger bed he can be more comfortable and quiet. I am also looking into one of those memory foam mattress toppers...might help. Sometimes the snore strips help. I know they sell OTC meds for that stuff but I think that would be a bad deal if I asked him to pop pills for something like that. Maybe I can just stick a clothespin on his nose
Pendawn Posted April 16, 2005 Posted April 16, 2005 Originally posted by Groovy Well, a king bed is a lot of money. I told him if we get engaged he can buy the ring and I will buy the bed. It's not so much his body next to me but his snoring, ou vey. I haven't slept on the couch because I know it would hurt his feelings. His not even that bad, I am just a real light sleeper. Sometimes the snore strips help. I know they sell OTC meds for that stuff but I think that would be a bad deal if I asked him to pop pills for something like that. Maybe I can just stick a clothespin on his nose Oh good luck, let us know if you find something! Update on my post in this thread is my guy does snore - oy vey does he snore! He told me before going to sleep he's usually fine as long as he's on his side. Liar. He fell asleep in spoons and snored like a freight train. He fell asleep one evening at my house in the same position with his mouth right at my ear, though he eventually woke himself up snoring! Next time I will be taking earplugs to at least deaden the noise somewhat. Though thankfully he's not a fidgeter/limbs flying, so that's something.
Author Groovy Posted April 16, 2005 Author Posted April 16, 2005 Also try getting an air purifier. It drones the noise out a bit. Your nicer than me. If my guy is snoring I poke him and tell him "Baby, your snoring again". He usually changes positions and I have enough of a window before it starts again to drift off to sleep once more.....
Author Groovy Posted April 18, 2005 Author Posted April 18, 2005 I know this post about a trivial deal has gotten long. I decided to get a King with individual coils to avoid the impact of him waking me when he moves. I am a real light sleeper and think I am getting sick because I have slept bad for days. He didn't spend the night last night and won't be for a while. I really wanted to buy the King myself and he found out. Now he insists on buying it or at least half. (The bed is $1200-1800). We have only dated for 3 1/2 months. I think I may love him and he may be "the one" but am a skeptic I'd know this early on. He says he knows I am and has faith the purchase is worth it. I feel in my own words or less it would be a risk. I told him it made me feel some pressure of obligation. That if things didn't work out I'd feel bad sleeping in a King bed he paid for. He said a man may buy a $2000 ring for a women out of faith she'll say yes and she doesn't. It's just one of those risks. I think sleeping together is a part of a relationship to experience intimacy and feel close. I am thinking of waiting another month. Am I crazy to let him buy me the bed? Ahh, all this over some metal springs and cotton padding.....
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