elaine567 Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 After watching this, maybe she has a good point in not being too hasty and merely becoming a FWB.
evanescentworld Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 (edited) what an utter load of bull. Thanks for totally wasting 2 minutes of my time. I never watched the whole video, because it's clear at what "market" the talk is aimed at: And one respondent summed it up perfectly: Blacks don't commit to their women. Why do you think something like 80% of black children don't know who daddy is. Edited November 17, 2014 by evanescentworld
Author CalvinM Posted November 18, 2014 Author Posted November 18, 2014 I'm glad you seem to be working things out, and it is fairly common IMO for some women to want to wait for exclusivity at least. It sounds quite concerning that she was totally fine receiving oral sex from you without reciprocating though. If she's open to receiving she should be open to giving, IMO. Unless you have explicitly stated that you prefer giving and dislike receiving (which doesn't sound like the case), it seems very selfish of her to do that. Certainly not the case. I enjoy receiving as well and would be more than happy to give, but only if she is willing to reciprocate. I'm seeing her this weekend, so we'll see how it goes. She's also stated she has an estranged relationship with her farther and doesn't always know how to show affection, since she never received much from him. I can relate to this, not having a father figure the first 8 years of my life and it took a long term relationship to coax me out of that. Her mother and step father live in Edmonton, so she'll be away for Christmas and New Years and I guess if I don't see much improvement before she leaves, then it'll be a good indication of how things will progress and whether I need to reevaluate/move on.
Author CalvinM Posted November 18, 2014 Author Posted November 18, 2014 If she can explain it to you in a way you can understand, and strike a deal with you, which in fact merely puts you on hold for just a bit longer, then this is a tactic she will always opt for. Because she knows it works. You'll understand, you'll understand, you'll understand. Other than 'trying to be more forthcoming' what else has she agreed she must bring to the relationship? Sorry, but this isn't opening up. This is just more of the same old delaying tactic. Pleading to your "Mr Nice Guy" side, placatory noises to make you think "Hey, hold on buddy, I'm pure gold, when you finally get through the 18" thick safe door..... and the 4' thick solid concrete, steel-reinforced walls - and past the dogs, guards and high-velocity rifles..... and the 7 square-mile perimeter.... honest, it will be worth it!!" Will it be? Do you really think so? What sort of expectations should I realistically be looking for out of a two month relationship that has very little intimacy to it? By this point, I'd already had unprotected sex with both of my last two girlfriends, so being exclusive as you said, seems to be offering little more than a tactic at this point. I'd like to be intimate with her, she'd like to wait. Without being forceful about the situation, there's little recourse here. She did send me a photo of her in her underwear last night, which I had mentioned a few weeks ago enjoying and hoping she'd be able to share given the distance between us, but even that seemed a bit forced.
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