Paidtheprice Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 I'm having a hard time and feel lost and alone! I've been reading others members posts and it's seriously helped me through this hard and trying time. My story. I met my ex March 2013 and to this moment feel like she was the one that got away (the one that I pushed away). When I met her she was 23 and I was 31. We met through mutual friends and from the get go she felt special and right to me. Everything was good and I introduced her to my my little kids approximately six moths after we started dating. I was cautious as far as her meeting my kids to soon because she has none and because she was so young. From the beginning i was a little afraid that it might not work because of that but it's not like I wanted to keep her away from my kids as they are the most important thing in my life and I also have them 50% of the time. The problems (for me) started when one of her ex's started contacting her. This made me feel very uncomfortable and I told her that it bothered me. At first she agreed and said that she would cut off communication with him. I know that she didn't like it when I told her it bothered me. Another problem (with me) is that she was very close to three of her male friends and found out later that she had a past with one of them. Well she said that they never had sex and that they stopped before the act happened. I was also not comfortable with that and we fought several times over that. I believe we even broke up once because of that. I set boundaries and told her that it wasn't ok with me to hangout with him one on one. She lived with her parents so I had to have her home before three a.m. and I could understand that. I always had her at her house on time with the exception of a few times. What also bothered me is that the curfew did not apply when she was hanging out with her friends and we also fought about that because to her it was ok. Through out our relationship for whatever reason her ex's (a total of four) kept texting her at what seemed to me odd times of the night and with some she would reach out to. That really made me insecure and I started questioning her intentions. Eventually we broke off a couple of times and it led to our break up on November 5th. I know that it was my problem and that I should have acted very differently. I was controlling and possessive. I regret that now, I know I have a problem and and all it took was loosing the woman that I was planning to spend the rest of my life with. I know people go through different stages after the breakup and although during the first week I reached out via text twice, I know in my heart that I would not accept her back into our lives (me and the kids) because she broke up with me via text and I feel that she should have done it in person. It feels that she walked out on me and the kids and I will never be able to get over that even if it was my fault because of my ways. I recognize that I have a big problem because it's not the first time that I have acted like this. I've bought two books that are helping me. One is Getting Past Your Breakup and the other is to help me with getting over my preoccupied anxiety in my relationships. It's made me really open my eyes and pin point the source of my problems. I know it's over!! I'm just really having a problem grasping the situation that I am in. It's been one week NC and I've had terrible downs where I want to break but I know it's for the best. Looking for words of wisdom and strength. Any other input is welcome as well. Thank You
lyndaaxo Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 Realising how you acted was wrong is the first step to changing. You both did things wrong, and maybe when you deal with both of your issues something could come from it again, you never know. Keep focusing on yourself, what you want to become and who you're looking for, it'll fall into place eventually.
Author Paidtheprice Posted November 16, 2014 Author Posted November 16, 2014 Thank you for your reply... Been hitting the gym pretty religiously and feel good of the results. Just when I'm alone im the most vulnerable. I turn to LS, and reading others peoples posts i can relate and know that im not the only one!
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