Why do i want commitment?

[Starnette83]

Hello,

 

I just want to say that I've been dealing with this issue for a long period of time, and even though I've trying brushing it off, not thinking about it, ignoring it and even seeing a counselor..NOTHING has helped!!

I've been with my b/f since I was 17 and he was 16. Back then I was a senior in H/S and he was a Junior...Now I'm a Junior in College. and I'm 21 , soon 22.

 

So we have been together for quite a long time..approx. 4 years..and 3 months. Obviously we have had our tough times, REALLY tough times that even led to mini break ups, but no matter what happened we are still together as of today.

 

My problem is that I'm always afraid that this will have to eventually end because of how young we were when we met and besides that we were both eachothers first in making love and first serious bf/gf thing.

So in a way we are both really haven't experimented..to me this isnt much of a problem because honestly i love my bf and i know that even if i go experiment and be with other people most likely ill get boredand ill run back to my bf, so knowing that i just wanna be with my baby. BUT for some reason i thinkthat men need to go through this experimenting stage in order to BE SURE that someone is the ONE!. AHHHH unfortunately the thought of my bf being with another girl both emotionally and physically grosses and bothers me alot!!! I guess when i think about it hard is that well i rather it be just physical then both physical and emotional. Because physical just means it wont be thatimportant. because what me and him is both physical and emotional.

 

So what am i to do???? Hes leaving to a school far away (3 hours) in dorms, were girls are pretty much everywhere and accessible. My bf is goodlooking, and has a charming personality which attracts people (girls). So i have no doubt in mind that my bf will have girls on him, and how will my bf be able to say no? Can he? AHHH this scares me so much...i dont want him to leave yet i cant stop him and i wont. I try to think this way "IF WE ARE MEANT TO BE ITWILL HAPPEN NO MATTER WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" plus if we have been together this long it must mean somethign right? ugh..all this thinking drives me NUTS!!

 

i guess in a way i need him to give me security that he will always be there, but he CANT..hes uncapable of doingthis! I understand in a way, hes YOUNG (20 soon 21) and INEXPERIENCED!!...Geeeessssh...either I let go and just realize "First loves are just first loves"...or STAY..and keep feeling this way or just deal with it in a productive manner!

 

So whats my problem? I'm scared! im scared that imma lose him, scared that im investing so much time and so much ME and that at the end he will be with someone else and ill be a lonely hag who cant get over her ex . But right now im with him , should'nt i be enjoying it and be a smiling lil brat ...ahhhhhh

 

I want to know how i can get back in control of myself, where i dont feel that I NEED someone so much that its always on my mind on how to keep them on how to make them keep wanting me.

 

Ive tried doing things i enjoy, like going to the gym. Working out is the only thing beside my bf that i have, but also school, soon i should graduate and have accomplished something!! but ive realized i have NO friends and it sucks!!!

I dont know why i have such a hard time making friends, but their is no one who i can hang out n talk 2 and i wish i had that. Everyone needs friends, I NEED FRIENDS!!!!

 

I just saw the movie the NOTEBOOK, such a great movie!! it was funny how much i could relate to it and hope that my ending is theway their ending is..together.

 

When she slapped him and hit him when he was kinda dumping her, i could just say "BEEN THERE-DONE THAT" when u love someone u lose control! Also the way they were seperated for 7 years and she had a fiance and he had a girlfriend but they still loved eachother shows that when its REAL its REAL and that no matter if u found someone new that if u really love someone that u still think of them n want to be with them.

Well life isnt a movie but i hope mines atleast turns out that way because honest truth is i neever want to lose my bf forever, i maybe can give him up for a little while if thats what fate wants but as long as fate brings him back to me i wouldnt be happier!

i love him ALOT

[Hund1976]

Everybody is different. It isn't a genetic thing that all guys have to sow their oats. Or that there is an age that is too young. Some people are ready to get married at 20. Other people still want to go out and party and stick their pole in anything they can their whole lives. Your boyfriend should be doing a better job of assuring you he loves you and stuff will work out. 3 hours away isn't too bad, you could still see eachother most weekends.