LoverOfDance Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 So I've had feelings for this man with a gf for three years now. I told him about my feelings two and half years ago and made the decision to get over him but it never happened for me. I dated others, kept busy blah blah blah, but it just never happened so I just decided to accept things for what they are. I have come to terms with the fact that I may be in love with him and that's ok. I don't think there's anything wrong with loving someone. However, I'm still sticking to decision not to do anything about my feelings for him and also try to find someone else to love. I stayed away from him for a while but then I decided to let myself see him once a week simply because I wanted to see his face. But to be honest, sometimes being around him ends up hurting me somehow. The thing is that I get this feeling that he wants me to stay. During the time when I was avoiding him, I remember him updating a status on social media which said something like this - "After a while, you find out the one who was never meant to stay, and the one who will always be there". He has been with his gf for many years (15 years I think, not exactly sure) so I really felt like that status was referring to me. I really do feel like he wants me to stay in his life but I'm not really sure if I should since being around him always ends up hurting me somehow. I am honestly confused and not sure whether to stay or go. I would really appreciate it if I can get some good advice on what to do in this situation.
eye of the storm Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 God I hate FB. 1. stop reading his FB looking for hidden messages. 2. if being around him hurts you, then stop being around him. 3. being around him is painful, it doesn't matter if he wants you to be around, it isn't good for you. If you had a broken leg and it was painful to walk on it, you would stay off it. If someone wanted you to go dancing with them and you had a broken leg you would not go. Treat this like you would any injury, give it the time and resources to heal. Be realistic, he is quite happy with his partner of 15 years, He is not jumping ship for you. Tell yourself that. Let it sink in. Sometimes setting a broken leg is painful, but it is necessary. Then move on to someone who wants you and is available. You can't move on till you make a conscious choice to let go. you can do this, but you won't until you choose to. Good luck 1
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