LoverOfDance Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 So I've had feelings for this man with a gf for three years now. I told him about my feelings two and half years ago and made the decision to get over him but it never happened for me. I dated others, kept busy blah blah blah, but it just never happened so I just decided to accept things for what they are. I have come to terms with the fact that I may be in love with him and that's ok. I don't think there's anything wrong with loving someone. However, I'm still sticking to decision not to do anything about my feelings for him and also try to find someone else to love. I stayed away from him for a while but then I decided to let myself see him once a week simply because I wanted to see his face. But to be honest, sometimes being around him ends up hurting me somehow. The thing is that I get this feeling that he wants me to stay. During the time when I was avoiding him, I remember him updating a status on social media which said something like this - "After a while, you find out the one who was never meant to stay, and the one who will always be there". He has been with his gf for many years (15 years I think, not exactly sure) so I really felt like that status was referring to me. I really do feel like he wants me to stay in his life but I'm not really sure if I should since being around him always ends up hurting me somehow. I am honestly confused and not sure whether to stay or go. I would really appreciate it if I can get some good advice on what to do in this situation.
irresolute Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 I think you should do an effort and move on completely from him. When yu decide to move on, you might be surprised of all the time you've lost pinning for someone that doesn't give a sh.it about you. you might also find that there are lots of other interesting guys out there that can give you what you want. Please, do not lose your time with this one. You know, things won't change, and he might want you for sex or whatever, but you deserve more, for sure. I'm truly sad for you and I wish you he best 1
d0nnivain Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 It doesn't matter what he wants. You have to take care of you. Being around him & wanting more hurts you. Therefore you need to add in a lot of distance so you can get over him. 2
JCG Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 I know how you are feeling. I also posted a similar story last night around the same time you did. "Mixed Signals?". I know that my rational mind knows better than my hopeless romantic heart. My advice: don't initiate contact. Cut him off. It's only hurting you. Time will heal you. I know it doesn't seem that it will right now. One day you will wake up and wonder why you spent so much time pining. You will feel liberated and empowered. Know that you are beautiful and the right one who appreciates you, respects you and knows your value will be there. Once he realizes you have cut him off, and you have boundaries, he will see your value and HIS loss. Stand your ground. You can do this. We have your back 1
Author LoverOfDance Posted November 16, 2014 Author Posted November 16, 2014 Thanks for the replies everyone. I really appreciate it. I'll try my best to stay away from him. My head says that this is the best decision for me right now but my heart is saying something different. But you're all right, I need to choose the option that doesn't lead to me constantly getting hurt. Thanks again for the advice. 1
FitChick Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 Don't be like his girlfriend who has stuck around for fifteen years and is still just his girlfriend. You are an ego boost.
howcouldInotknow Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 After a while you will begin to feel used and start to hate him. Caring for someone who doesn't return it is draining. It leaves you feeling like you've been wrung out to dry
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