Phalcon Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Hi everyone -- My fiancee and I have been together for 11 years. A long time. I was 19 when I met her, 30 now. She is a few years older than me but that never bothered either of us since she was the perfect fit for me and I for her. She had come out of a very abusive relationship and I counted myself the luckiest guy on earth to find someone I felt so much for so quickly. She had a bad childhood, 5 stepmothers and she lost her mother at the age of 5 to cancer. We had 5 great years. Then she got sick. First a thyroidectomy and a year later total renal failure. She gets dialysis 3 times a week. Waiting for a donor. She was in the hospital for 2 months after the renal diagnosis and I was there, obviously, every day. As I will continue to stand by her. I know the "why aren't you married yet?" question is coming. We were together for 6 years, then I proposed. She wants a big fancy wedding and I know that. Between everything that has happened to her and the jobs I had to support everything I just haven't had the money to give her the wedding she wants even if she sometimes told me that we could go to the courthouse and she'd be happy. Anyway. Two weeks ago she comes to me and tells me we should break up. She has thought everything through and she feels like a sister to me not a fiancee. She feels to much negativity around her and wants to leave. The next day she slept over at lady-friends' house and has done so mostly since then. No matter what I tell her or ask her, she seems to have made up her mind. She wants to start dividing up all our stuff and move out. I'm not emotional, at all. This, however, is getting to me big time. I don't want to go into our bedroom anymore because she's not there. The nights feel darker than ever. I've only managed to fall asleep by putting my Youtube subscriptions on loop and focusing on that. The last year I've not worked as I have been studying. We plan/planned to open a business. She wants nothing even to do with that anymore because "it's taking too long". It seems I have to make peace with the fact that this break-up is unavoidable. I just have no idea how to go on from here. She was my first girlfriend.
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