Author True Gent Posted November 17, 2014 Author Posted November 17, 2014 A they say rome wasnt built in a day. One day 16/17 and it hurts but i feel better for it than i did 16 days ago You're right it wasn't bult in a day! 12 months on and my biggest hurdles have been anger, resentment and the feelings of doubt that it was all a lie and I never knew her. This break in NC has actually done me some good. For one I still mean something to her, she did reply and it was a very lengthy and pretty deep responce. So I know I did matter to her and she did love me and in a way she still does. I can't fully forgive her for what she did at the end, but I do think that she actually is pretty cut up over how it ended between us. I obviously am still in her thoughts quite a bit and she still holds me in very high regard. Maybe I can let go of some of this resentment which I've been carrying around, that hasn't been doing me any good. Neither of us want reconciliation, I doubt that could ever happen unless many years passed by. However what she has said to me has restored my belief in how well I knew her. I did know her and we did share love, I think I've left a positive impression on her forever. If I let go of the weight I've been carrying on my shoulders since our breakup and actually realise that I wasn't totally wrong about her, maybe I can be open minded about future potential relationships. That's got to be better for me than being cynical. There were warning signs that we weren't right anymore, I could of saved myself some of this pain if I faced up to it at the time. I'm not excusing what she did to me at the end, I'll never forget it and I'm still feeling it. I couldn't of done what she did. Hopefully though the things learned from it all will mean I'm better prepared for something brighter later on. I can hold my head a little higher with the thoughts that it was real, she is who I thought she was, we just don't fit anymore. There is some sort of comfort in knowing she suffers for what she put me through and I'm highly thought of. I'm not over it all, but this could be a milestone in my healing. Maybe I won't feel so disillusioned now and get some closure. 2
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