creyente7 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 (edited) Is it too late at this point? We've been broken up for almost a month now. I want her in my life. I can tell part of it is my ego talking and feeling rejected. But after some time of thinking and somewhat accepted that she simply just fell out of love that maybe there is a way to get her back. I mean there were too many redflags that I was too blind to see because i was in love but now that I've gotten more of a clear head. Ive been able to think whether I really want this girl or Im just lonely and bored. Ive realize that she is an overall great girl, good morals, ambitious, independent, sweet, and caring, almost too prideful as well. Although I can fully say I can let her go and not look back, I feel I should fight for her. I was thinking, how can a girl think I cared about her when I would always pick fights and argue. I wouldn't. I know she got exhausted and wanted out. I remember her saving a pic on my ipad when I let her borrow it that says "If you feel unloved, unimportant, or uncared for remember to whom you belong" another one that says "I always wonder why birds always stay on the same tree when they can fly anywhere, then I ask myself the same question." That just means, "why am I with this person, when I could be out living freely". Im going to admit, I was controlling, possessive, needy and clingy because of my own fears. But after this time apart, Its opened my eyes that I don't have control over someones freewill, they can choose to live however way they want. I want this girl, I know she just gave up on me. Before we broke up she said "When I talked to my mom, she said that people can't change" I know how much she values her moms opinions which is why I believe she just had to let me go regardless of how painful it is for her. Her mom, who she looks up to alot, always gave her advice. Ive been working on myself, going to counseling and learning where the core problem lie within me. Ive learned alot, and learned that love can go both ways, and that you can choose the way you give it. In my case, I chose to love that person in a way that I was afraid to lose them, I lived in fear thus where all my behavior of controlling and possesiveness came from. I can either choose to learn from this, move on, and treat the next girl the right way. Or I can fight for the one I lost and show her the changes Ive made. So with all this said, how should I approach this. Im planning to keep NC longer and plan to set a time to meet with her when I do contact her. But I also want to be sure I will be okay regardless if she accepts or not. Which at this point I'm not ready for. Any advice out there? Edited November 15, 2014 by creyente7
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