Sane Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 (edited) It has been said that men don't like women to 'help' them with a problem. Men go to their partners to talk and vent about their issues. As soon as their partners try to 'fix' the problem, the man slowly starts to pull away from their partners. Men feel like men when they are left to ultimately figure out things for themselves. Is this true? How can I help my partner feel 'ok' w/o having him feel like less of a man or smothered? There are times when I have to remind him about things that he may forget. I feel somewhat uneasy doing this. Or if there is something important I say, "make sure you do this," or I give him suggestions. Is this too much? Edited November 15, 2014 by Sane
CarrieT Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 There are times when I have to remind him about things that he may forget. I feel somewhat uneasy doing this. Or if there is something important I say, "make sure you do this," or I give him suggestions. Is this too much? Bad words because you are simultaneously telling him what to do while implying that he isn't capable of remembering it himself. It is too much. Ask him point blank if he even wants reminders. Perhaps let him forget and let the consequences fall where they may, if it is something that doesn't involve you directly. If you are involved (like remembering something you are to do together), there are better ways to say it like, "I'm looking forward to ***** together next Saturday." 2
Gloria25 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 (edited) Oh gosh, I thought it was the reverse - which is: women go to their partners and/or friends to "vent", while men are more of the "fixers". Maybe its "how" you express your response to him? I mean, I do agree with you that men aren't like women - they wanna try to figure out things on their own. I mean, I had a gf, and her husband was in the military and had long hours. One day she was venting how he "forgot" again to get the tires fixed on their truck...so, she had to "remind" him again and she's so tired of it. I felt like telling her, "Why don't you just take it to the shop for him?" I mean, if she knew what the truck needed and he's working long hours, then just do it for him instead of nagging....geesh Edited November 15, 2014 by Gloria25
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