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Do guys mean what they say? Can someone interpret this?


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Posted

Ok, I've been hooking up with my guy friend for a year. Last week, I asked if he wanted to meet up, he straight out said:

 

Him: Lets go on a break.

Me: How come? :(

Him: Because its what I want right now. No real reason.

Me: How long will this break last?

Him: I have no idea

Me: Do you not enjoy it with me?

Him: I just don't care about it right now.

 

Then, a few days later, I kept texting him and asking if it was because he wasn't in the mood. or if he wants to date others, he didn't respond back. Until 2 days later, when I asked again:

 

Me: How come your not talking to me? I don't mean to bother you, I'm just unclear about the situation.

Him: Its clear. I don't want to have sex with you. It doesn't matter why.

 

Ok, first he said, he didn't care for sex at the moment, since I didn't know what he meant, I kept asking him, then he flat out said, he didn't want to have sex "with me." So, should I assume "with me" that he doesn't want me anymore or since I didn't understand he set the record straight. Now, I don't know if he meant that he really wanted just some space in the beginning. If there is someone else, I'm sure he would have flat out told me, right? Also, we went on a break 6 months ago and that only last 2 weeks, he told me he wasn't in the mood, so then we got back to our regular routine.

Posted

I don't think this needs much interpretation. He said he's not into it anymore. That might change or it might not. Your best bet is to just back away and assume he's looking elsewhere and do so yourself.

Posted

I'm suspicious that he wants to date someone else and come back to you if it doesn't pan out or after he's laid her.

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Posted
I don't think this needs much interpretation. He said he's not into it anymore. That might change or it might not. Your best bet is to just back away and assume he's looking elsewhere and do so yourself.

 

Where did he say that he's not into me anymore? Also, in the beginning, he told me there was "no real reason." If he wants to date someone, why didn't he just say it?

Posted
I'm suspicious that he wants to date someone else and come back to you if it doesn't pan out or after he's laid her.

 

I have a slightly different interpretation. He met someone who really caught his attention so he told the OP "let's go on a break". Then the new girl made it clear she was not going to be a booty call or a FWB, so he stepped up and told the OP he didn't want to have sex with her any more. If he wanted to keep OP on as a side piece, he wouldn't have repeatedly said he didn't want to have sex with her.

 

Question for the OP - did you want a relationship with this guy? It's too late now, but why did you hook up for him for a whole year instead of dating?

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Posted
Where did he say that he's not into me anymore? Also, in the beginning, he told me there was "no real reason." If he wants to date someone, why didn't he just say it?

 

He said he didn't want to have sex with you. Maybe that will change and it's up to you to wait around until it does. But do yourself a favor and don't sit around waiting for him to make up his mind.

 

Also, it's generally bad when someone doesn't reply to your messages for hours or even days. It doesn't take that long to send a text, so not sending a reply speaks volumes about his priorities with regards to you.

 

Again, this is just advice, just words on a computer screen. Do whatever you need to you...

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Posted
I have a slightly different interpretation. He met someone who really caught his attention so he told the OP "let's go on a break". Then the new girl made it clear she was not going to be a booty call or a FWB, so he stepped up and told the OP he didn't want to have sex with her any more. If he wanted to keep OP on as a side piece, he wouldn't have repeatedly said he didn't want to have sex with her.

 

Question for the OP - did you want a relationship with this guy? It's too late now, but why did you hook up for him for a whole year instead of dating?

 

I guess I wanted some sort of relationship to come out of it.

 

What I don't understand why he said that there was "no real reason" for this break. What does no real reason mean in the first place? See, I don't know if I should believe him, I don't want to accuse him of lying. And usually when a guy tells us something-we always interpret it differently.

Posted
I guess I wanted some sort of relationship to come out of it.

 

What I don't understand why he said that there was "no real reason" for this break. What does no real reason mean in the first place? See, I don't know if I should believe him, I don't want to accuse him of lying. And usually when a guy tells us something-we always interpret it differently.

 

You spent an entire year having meaningless sex with this guy in the hopes that it would turn into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? Don't do that again.

 

First of all, you don't have to accuse him of lying because you're no longer talking. That being said I don't think he was honest, either. Most people aren't completely honest with their partners about why they end relationships. They will say practically anything because they just want it to be over. And frankly, there's not a nice way to say "I met someone who I like more than you". He was clear that he doesn't want sex with you any more, which is enough.

 

A guy does not call off a year-long FWB because he has some kind of grand revelation. He met someone who made him want to be a boyfriend. I imagine he sent you the first few texts after they first met, when he had no clue if he could be with her or not. Once he found out he could, he officially called things off with you. It stinks but it happens, and when you aren't in a committed relationship you don't have any say in what the other person does.

 

Don't lower your expectations in hopes of meeting someone else's. Never, ever settle for less than what you want. This new mystery girl didn't; otherwise he'd still be hooking up with you occasionally. When you're interested in someone and you have something going, be very clear about you're looking for. If he's not on the same page then move on immediately.

Posted
I guess I wanted some sort of relationship to come out of it.

 

What I don't understand why he said that there was "no real reason" for this break. What does no real reason mean in the first place? See, I don't know if I should believe him, I don't want to accuse him of lying. And usually when a guy tells us something-we always interpret it differently.

 

It means he is no longer interested in you, not even just for sex. He was pretty straight forward with you as to what he meant. I don't understand why you would even contact him again after he told you he's no longer interested in you. I don't know how much clearer he could have been with his message. Please believe him, it's over.

Posted
Where did he say that he's not into me anymore? Also, in the beginning, he told me there was "no real reason." If he wants to date someone, why didn't he just say it?

 

Basically because it's none of your business if he wants to date someone else or not. He just doesn't want to date or have sex with you anymore and that's all you need to know. Stop trying to read more into it than you need to know.

Posted

You said yourself it was just hooking up, and he's done hooking up with you and moving on. He doesn't feel close to you so he doesn't care to share any reason for it. Probably met someone he likes and doesn't want to be hooking up while pursuing her. If you started getting emotionally attached and he obviously isn't, then he may just feel it's not right to keep seeing you and that so often happens in the supposed FWB situations. One person is actually wanting more. He's gone. He was never really there.

Posted

You gave up sex to early you devalued yourself in his eyes he prob made the decision you were just a bed buddy the first night you slept together learn from it and move on.. im sorry I know it can be a hard lesson for some women to learn..

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