MapleWish Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 The guy I'm more "courting" than dating says he can't fully commit to anyone, not just me, dating wise right now because he's just been through a divorce so he's not totally ready emotionally yet but he also tells me he's not ready because of God. He says God is telling him its not the right time to date yet or He's maybe telling him I'm not the one for him. But that doesn't make sense to me, isn't that for us to decide? My guy has been through a divorce hence he's been married already, did God tell him "yes this is the one, marry her" and then later be like "nevermind she's not, here's a divorce". Idk it confuses me. I wouldn't think God is telling us who we should and shouldn't be with but I believe he can at least guide us to the person, like be in the same room or meet by chance. Can does god really decide that I'm the one or not? My guy is so set on the future and not wanting to go through heartbreak again, he's usually focusing on if I'm good enough to marry or if God is saying so, but I'm not even worried about married yet, I'm just talking dating. And no this guy isn't making up excuses, I know how strongly he believes in his faith and his convictions, if he didn't want to be with me if he didn't think I was right for him he'd tell me, right now he's relying on god's judgement
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Some people believe that. If this guy is telling you "not now" for whatever reason: God; he's still hung up on his Ex; it's Saturday; you wore a color he didn't like last time -- the reason doesn't matter as much as the message. It's not going to happen now & there is nothing you can do about it. This guy isn't ready. 3
PogoStick Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 And that's happening in Iowa? I'm embarrassed. Is he Mormon?
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Even if I were religious, I'd really hope that He isn't the one deciding. Have you seen the "Separation and Divorce" forum? He's clearly terrible at it. 3
cif Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Well, hard to know for certain but I think God presents us with opportunities and then we decide which ones to go for.
Mirages Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Your religious perspective is just that, yours... In the Judeo-Christian side of things, Adam and Eve, not too many choices there, conditional selection, unusual process. Isaac & Rebekah, this was Abraham's idea, pre-arranged, not by God. Hosea & Gomer: This was an illustrative marriage, not to be a precedent. Some individuals purport to have a clearer channel with God than others do. Whatever is going on, there is little evidence that I know of to mandate God's selection. It will be difficult for him to frame a doctrine on God's selecting a wife for him. He can however be more attune to the Holy Spirit in all manners of things, and may be just this, good for him. The presence of strong faith will often lead to a better or worse relationship, it is intensity of thought amongst frail humans. You must be on the same page of understanding on this, i.e. interrogate his views, this is big. If you two do not see these matters similarly you will feel like a cat in a monastery in a few years.
stillafool Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Whether God tells us who to marry or not your guy seems to think so and doesn't think God is telling him you are the one. Don't waste anymore time with this guy because it isn't going anywhere. I think he is still hung up on his ex.
LisaSmith_1970 Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 I would assume so, but at the same time, I think I'm being punished seeing that I'm struggling in the dating world. Its frustrating.
Tayken Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 @OP......now are we talking the almighty GOD or little gods that people give sacrifices to? I personally believe in destiny i.e. we've all been dealt cards when we were created, so whatever is happening is as a result of the kind of card you have in your possession. Funny how arrange marriages always seem to work eh....I have been looking for a potential person at church.
xXMarlboro_ManXx Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 No, but I don't believe in God so take that with a grain of salt Some people use god as an "excuse" for behavior or actions and some don't, it really depends on the person. If the guy is religious using God as an excuse for saying they are not interested should be blasphemous. 2
Coe Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 God is too busy causing earthquakes and killing babies in Africa to care who anyone dates... 1
90s kid Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 The guy I'm more "courting" than dating says he can't fully commit to anyone, not just me, dating wise right now because he's just been through a divorce so he's not totally ready emotionally yet but he also tells me he's not ready because of God. He says God is telling him its not the right time to date yet or He's maybe telling him I'm not the one for him. But that doesn't make sense to me, isn't that for us to decide? My guy has been through a divorce hence he's been married already, did God tell him "yes this is the one, marry her" and then later be like "nevermind she's not, here's a divorce". Idk it confuses me. I wouldn't think God is telling us who we should and shouldn't be with but I believe he can at least guide us to the person, like be in the same room or meet by chance. Can does god really decide that I'm the one or not? My guy is so set on the future and not wanting to go through heartbreak again, he's usually focusing on if I'm good enough to marry or if God is saying so, but I'm not even worried about married yet, I'm just talking dating. And no this guy isn't making up excuses, I know how strongly he believes in his faith and his convictions, if he didn't want to be with me if he didn't think I was right for him he'd tell me, right now he's relying on god's judgement Speaking as a Christian, I believe that God has a plan for each of our lives. Sure we have free will. We can follow our own impulses or desires anytime we want. But sometimes that can lead us astray and ultimately hurt us in the long run. Christians are taught to lean on God and listen to His voice for guidance. Trust in Him and he will show you the way. This is not limited to dating, by the way. You can pray to God for guidance on any aspect of your life. Essentially he's telling you that his intuition is steering him away from you. In other words, he does not believe that you're the one he's meant to be with. Perhaps he felt that he made a bad decision in his first marriage and he's looking to God to help him make a better decision this time. Respect his decision. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't believe you're the one?
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