Blocked contact but seemed really keen before!?

[CardiffJamie]

Hey everybody.

 

So yeah, I met this girl on Wednesday night from Tinder. When we were Whatsapping beforehand she seemed really keen and was very flirty. I met her at her flat and we chilled out in her room. We had like a cuddle and a kiss (she didn't seem overly keen but we'd just met!). She's 19 btw and I'm 26... So I think she's probably a bit young anyway and she wasn't mature.

 

Half way through the date she goes into the kitchen as her flat mates are in their rooms. When she comes back, she suddenly sits at the opposite end of the bed and starts to use her phone more. When I arrived her phone would buzz but she wouldn't bother checking it as we were talking... And now suddenly she can't wait to reply to whoever!?

 

I have a horrible feeling her flat mates may have said something? I know that girls talk...

 

I was probably looking my worst to be fair... Didn't make an effort as I wanted to give off that "I'm awesome and don't need to make an effort" vibe but it may have backfired. I seem to get told I'm hot a lot so perhaps I was relying on that too much but looking back now... A hoody, flat hair and a semi-beard seems like a really bad idea and looks scruffy on my part.

 

She also didn't make any hints about being tired etc (wanting me to leave etc)...so it's all really confusing. She was really flirty before in texts and when she came to the door she was wearing the shortest shorts I have ever seen... And the fact she wanted me to come to her flat tells me she wanted one thing... Sex?

 

I made no approach to seduce her and maybe she got bored and lost interest in the idea? Or her friends influenced her decision? Cos I am 26 and she'd literally just met me for the first time... They may have been like "who is he? Why have you brought a random guy over whom you have never met!? That is creepy..." I don't know? She also kept saying how old she thought I was, and that I was older than her oldest sibling!?

 

When I left she said bye and by the time I got home she had blocked me on Whatsapp and unmatched me on tinder.

 

It's weird cos I went on another date last night to a bar with a girl much prettier and smarter and she seems interested as she's happy to meet for food and drinks next week.

 

I think with this original girl being 19 and in university accommodation she is surrounded by people giving her advice and influencing her decisions... I could hear her flat mates giggling!

 

I think I made her feel dumb too. She thought Canary Wharf was a block of flats dkwn Cardiff Bay but it's the business part of London. I think I made it known that it was one of the dumbest things I had ever heard.

 

During the good part of our date we were making jokes and she kept on reverting back to the funny parts etc... It all seemed okay until she went to the kitchen. I have a feeling it was a result of possibly her friends influencing her, coming across as maybe a bit "scruffy" (which I do regret now), waiting too long to make a move and seduce her (before she went to the kitchen) and making her feel thick.

 

It's all done now and I have no contact with her, but I guess I want closure really? Opinions? I over think everything as you can see.

 

Cheers guys and girls

Edited November 15, 2014 by CardiffJamie

[acrosstheuniverse]

Let this be a lesson: before you meet somebody from Tinder, ask them what they're looking for. If you KNEW all she wanted was sex, you'd have been quicker to make a move. If you KNEW she wanted to take it slow and was looking to date, then you could have asked her out on a proper date instead of going round to her place. I would guess that if she invited a stranger into her room, onto her bed, and was wearing skimpy clothing then yes, that's what she was expecting to happen. But maybe she's just utterly clueless and didn't actually think that that's how her actions would come across (unlikely but maybe she's an extremely naive 19 year old).

 

Some people think Tinder is a 'hook up app' and I'm sure it can be used in that manner, but personally I've had some great dates with great guys on Tinder who never pushed for sex, and I met my current boyfriend on there. You never know what the other person is thinking. I never used it to hook up for a one night stand but I'm sure many people do.

 

She probably got cold feet afterwards, maybe felt rejected because you didn't make a move, or maybe felt embarrassed because she'd portrayed herself to be one thing (flirty minx) and the reality was quite different. Don't sweat it either way. Find out what someone's intentions are before you meet next time and make yours clear too.

 

And please, out of respect for the other person whether you're dating or just looking for a ONS, make a bit of effort. It wouldn't kill you to put on some nice clean clothes, brush your hair, have a shave and put some aftershave off. Just because she may have wanted a ONS doesn't mean she wants it with somebody who looks like he doesn't give a toss and just crawled out of bed!

Edited November 15, 2014 by acrosstheuniverse

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, you're really over-thinking this. She's a virtual stranger. Maybe her flatmate's influenced her, maybe she got another hit she liked more. Don't waste more energy trying to figure it out. Next time, find out ahead of time what a Tinder match is looking for. Don't take it too personally.

[smackie9]

Everyone knows TENDER is just a hookup site, not really a regular dating site. Try OK cupid or POF.

[d0nnivain]

You two are not compatible & you are at different life stages. Let her go.