Blakely Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 We went from talking multiple times a day, seeing each other once a week to sleeping together on the reg. Then radio silence for a month before he contacts me. Saying he misses me and has to see me. am i ok, he's not heard from me in weeks. Go see him. We hookup, and talk the next day a few times. then i don't hear from him for another couple weeks and the same exact thing happens and we hookup. Today he shot me a text asking how i was doing....hadn't heard from me lately. Tell him what ive been doing and he tells me he was super busy the past few wks. But he just wanted to check on me. My parents don't even text me to check on me. He didn't talk about making plans to see me or anything like that. So what's he want or not want from me is the question!?
90s kid Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Seriously? You can't figure out what he wants with you? He clearly just wants to hook up with you. Once you give him what he wants (and it sounds like you always do), he ditches you until he feels lonely enough to call you again. I don't want to be harsh with you, but it's really not rocket science. He's using you for sex and you're letting him. Remember that it's up to you to teach people how to treat you. 6
Author Blakely Posted November 15, 2014 Author Posted November 15, 2014 denial. Lol. Light bulb started to go off. So what should i say next time he pulls his stunt?
Mrin Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 denial. Lol. Light bulb started to go off. So what should i say next time he pulls his stunt? Ignore and block his number. Or thanks I am not interested. Or thanks I met someone else goodbye. I'd just firmly shut the door unless you're cool with just infrequent NSA sex.
Author Blakely Posted November 15, 2014 Author Posted November 15, 2014 No. not ok with this at all! I'm pretty upset with him actually.
Author Blakely Posted November 15, 2014 Author Posted November 15, 2014 he doesn't want booty everytime we talk though. And i leave ball in his court when it comes to initiating communication. I won't do it first bc I get the vibe he's not into me for the right reasons. I hate players!!
smackie9 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Don't accuse him of wrong doing completely. You never initiated communication....that would make anyone feel less of a priority, so he assumed it was nothing more than casual. 1
Author Blakely Posted November 16, 2014 Author Posted November 16, 2014 Don't accuse him of wrong doing completely. You never initiated communication....that would make anyone feel less of a priority, so he assumed it was nothing more than casual. I know. that's why I feel as though if I'd been less aloof towards him, maybe things would be different. Should i text him and she what happens? I'm confused as to weather he's not into me, or he got the vibe i wasn't into him....
O'Malley Posted November 17, 2014 Posted November 17, 2014 (edited) he doesn't want booty everytime we talk though. He liked the undivided attention that you gave him. He contacts you, you meet up, stroke his ego and possibly some no strings attached sex. Rinse and repeat a few weeks or months later. Nothing you can say or do will change the fact that he's not interested in your romantically. He chose not to call you because you were never a priority. Just block and ignore. Edited November 17, 2014 by O'Malley
Author Blakely Posted November 18, 2014 Author Posted November 18, 2014 He liked the undivided attention that you gave him. He contacts you, you meet up, stroke his ego and possibly some no strings attached sex. Rinse and repeat a few weeks or months later. Nothing you can say or do will change the fact that he's not interested in your romantically. He chose not to call you because you were never a priority. Just block and ignore. I guess I'm trying to keep an open mind because I like the freedom without being pressured to label us. However, Im aware that most people feel the opposite of me in on this subject. I don't mind keeping up with the ace we've est. I just worry from time to time that he feels guilty for sleeping with me knowing he was off limits for anything serious. I like my life just the way it is, but I do have needs at the end of the day. Its refreshing to have no pressure for a commitment. We never discussed a possible future between us. He did tell a mutual friend who weet through that he was looking to settle down but didn't want anyone to know. Knowing that, may have been a reason I never went there while getting to know him. I'm confused. ****. what can i say. IDK what I want anymore. Or what I want from him. I'm very detached when it comes to opening up emotionally to a man. I don't like feeling vulnerable. It scared the crap out of me.
Author Blakely Posted November 18, 2014 Author Posted November 18, 2014 Don't ask me, ask him. I plan on it
CatalystNX Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 I know. that's why I feel as though if I'd been less aloof towards him, maybe things would be different. Should i text him and she what happens? I'm confused as to weather he's not into me, or he got the vibe i wasn't into him.... Honestly, being aloof had nothing to do with it. It's nothing you did wrong, it's just all about the sex to him. Or so it sounds from your story anyway. 1
todreaminblue Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 So what's he want or not want from me is the question!? It is what he expects from you I feel not what he wants but what he expects to get......when he doesn't get what he expects its goodbye and dont cry...... i guess you have to make the choice if you are happy with his expectations of what he gets from you and if you arent happy say goodbye first.......good luck....deb 1
Author Blakely Posted November 20, 2014 Author Posted November 20, 2014 I'm pathetic for being so anxious and hopeful everydayday that it will be the day he asks me to dinner or passes by my place. Or even calls me to catch up. I know he will eventually text me. if I'm this emotionally invested in him I want to cut this FWB off and ignore any attempt he makes to reach out to me. It's going to take A LOT of self control for me to pull that off...as Im still tangled up in my feelings involving this guy..." I do miss the crap out of him and loved the time we did spend togetherx Id stay on cloud 9 for a day or 2 after we parted. I do feel used at this point. Even if he wasn't using me, he never made an effort to make sure I never felt as though I was using. Everythkng was perfect in beginning, which is a red flag for me, but I made excuses for him due to the HIGH attraction levels and charm he Generates! Just ignore him or handle it with a little more dignity?
LilKimmy Posted November 20, 2014 Posted November 20, 2014 If you want a relationship with this guy - give it up. You want a booty call - he's your man. We went from talking multiple times a day, seeing each other once a week to sleeping together on the reg. Then radio silence for a month before he contacts me. Saying he misses me and has to see me. am i ok, he's not heard from me in weeks. Go see him. We hookup, and talk the next day a few times. then i don't hear from him for another couple weeks and the same exact thing happens and we hookup. Today he shot me a text asking how i was doing....hadn't heard from me lately. Tell him what ive been doing and he tells me he was super busy the past few wks. But he just wanted to check on me. My parents don't even text me to check on me. He didn't talk about making plans to see me or anything like that. So what's he want or not want from me is the question!?
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