bitter_taste Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Three years... three years she's been hung up on this mutual friend of ours and I'm trying to get her to snap out of it. Is there anyone who can help me? I desperately love this woman and can take care of her but she's noting being reasonable and clinging on to the idea that he'll dump his current girlfriend and date her finally... I'm hopeless, heart broken, and seething with jealous rage that I cannot think clearly. I'll be monitoring this post closely tonight so any input or questions will be answered promptly.
smackie9 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Doesn't matter if she is hung up on your friend or not....she's not into you regardless. You are the one that needs to snap out of it and get with other girls. 4
Author bitter_taste Posted November 15, 2014 Author Posted November 15, 2014 Defriended her on Facebook, removed her from Skype, and try to avoid her at work. It's crushing me like no other...
smackie9 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 There are others in your midst but you are too busy obsessing over this girl to notice....so many lost opportunities my friend, so many lost.
Mrin Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Defriended her on Facebook, removed her from Skype, and try to avoid her at work. It's crushing me like no other... I look forward to reading her WTF? post on here soon then... ;-) In all honesty what you did might actually be the best course of action. Sometimes you get hung up on a person and can't break free. And you have to realize it is your issue not theirs. Sure it can be noisy and awk as you slam the door and take your toys home but in the long run it is best for everyone. Good luck and consult the NC guide 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Three years... three years she's been hung up on this mutual friend of ours and I'm trying to get her to snap out of it. Is there anyone who can help me? I desperately love this woman and can take care of her but she's noting being reasonable and clinging on to the idea that he'll dump his current girlfriend and date her finally... I'm hopeless, heart broken, and seething with jealous rage that I cannot think clearly. I'll be monitoring this post closely tonight so any input or questions will be answered promptly. You can't. Are you sure you're not also being unreasonable? Three years is a long time to be upset about something like this. It sounds like you're also clinging on to the idea that she'll finally let go of him and date you. If it were going to happen, it would've happened already. As others said, you're missing so many opportunities and wasting a lot of emotional energy on this. It's time for you to let go too.
Gloria25 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I feel ya, you see someone you want and they want someone that you can see from a mile is "not it"... Oh well, it sucks, but it is what it is. BTW, just cuz you think you can make them "see the light" doesn't mean they will be able to see what you can offer them. A guy I was seeing came from a divorce with a manipulative byach. When things got sour with us, he dumped me for the town skank. After the town skank was done with him, I thought I could make up for what went wrong in our RL.... Well, I ran into him and he got married again - after only knowing some foreign skank for 6 months. Thank God, by then I moved on and will/would never, ever waste my time with an idiot who preferred manipulative skanks.
Author bitter_taste Posted November 18, 2014 Author Posted November 18, 2014 I look forward to reading her WTF? post on here soon then... ;-) In all honesty what you did might actually be the best course of action. Sometimes you get hung up on a person and can't break free. And you have to realize it is your issue not theirs. Sure it can be noisy and awk as you slam the door and take your toys home but in the long run it is best for everyone. Good luck and consult the NC guide She simply texted me a few hours later, the text was something like, "Defriend? bitter_taste, I don't know what to say, I'm sorry and I understand... I guess."
Author bitter_taste Posted November 18, 2014 Author Posted November 18, 2014 You can't. Are you sure you're not also being unreasonable? Three years is a long time to be upset about something like this. It sounds like you're also clinging on to the idea that she'll finally let go of him and date you. If it were going to happen, it would've happened already. As others said, you're missing so many opportunities and wasting a lot of emotional energy on this. It's time for you to let go too. Yeah... after a long shower and a walk to re-evaluate what happened, I was totally unreasonable and acted like an ass trying to convince her other wise...
preraph Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 You're working on the false premise that if she wasn't into him, she'd be into you. Not true. Once she moves on from him, she'll find someone new. She's not interested in you that way. Sorry. Unfortunately, just because we love someone doesn't mean they love us back or that it's meant to be or any of that fairytale stuff. Don't waste your time on her. Don't hang around and force her to tell you "I don't like you that way." 2
todreaminblue Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 I was hung up on a guy for quite a while the only thing that made me move on was me ....i dont think about him that way anymore......because i just grew out of it i guess......it became less and less over time that i thought about him and thinking about him now doesnt upset me..i guess it was easier because he was quite ignorant towards a friendship with me....maybe that was gods gift ....to let me see that.......i wish him happiness with whom ever he is with though ....i would consider a friendship with him if he was interested in one...i do care and i think at the moment his heart is sunk.....doubt that friendship will happen though what it seems like to me is she is hung up but so are you hung up on her ....and the quicker you deal with the futility of the situation the quicker you will be able to move on...avoid contact where possible...it does get easier...time has it.......deb 1
Author bitter_taste Posted November 18, 2014 Author Posted November 18, 2014 You're working on the false premise that if she wasn't into him, she'd be into you. Noted and I've seen the errors of my ways. I've already told her before I've cut ties with her that If it's not me then I would help her find some other guy who's willing to love her just as much... That is up to the point when I made a conscious decision to avoid her like the plague.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 18, 2014 Posted November 18, 2014 Noted and I've seen the errors of my ways. I've already told her before I've cut ties with her that If it's not me then I would help her find some other guy who's willing to love her just as much... That is up to the point when I made a conscious decision to avoid her like the plague. Why on earth would you tell her that? More to the point, why on earth would you put yourself in such an awkward position?
Author bitter_taste Posted November 19, 2014 Author Posted November 19, 2014 Why on earth would you tell her that? More to the point, why on earth would you put yourself in such an awkward position? I'm an awkward person in general. Hah
smackie9 Posted November 19, 2014 Posted November 19, 2014 I can totally understand making such a statement to her....it's all part of the "letting go" process. This is where you can vent more so you can heal.
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