thecrucible Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I find this bit do hard. I hate rejecting people so I just keep interactions strictly friendly and don't flirt. I'm scared to online date cause I don't know how to deal with a situation in which it isn't going anywhere or there isn't mutual attraction. I faded on guys in the past, and many fade on me but I have a huge guilt complex about it. So guys, what's the best way for a girl to tell you she's not feeling it?
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Well, I usually assume the girl isn't feeling it anyway. But, really not contacting me, taking a really long time to reply to texts or IMs, or never replying. When you see me having stiff body language, not mentioning anything you want to do together, treating me more or less like you would a stranger. Those are pretty good ways of letting me know it's not happening.
Author thecrucible Posted November 15, 2014 Author Posted November 15, 2014 Well, I usually assume the girl isn't feeling it anyway. But, really not contacting me, taking a really long time to reply to texts or IMs, or never replying. When you see me having stiff body language, not mentioning anything you want to do together, treating me more or less like you would a stranger. Those are pretty good ways of letting me know it's not happening. What if you act like that and the guy keeps trying?
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 What if you act like that and the guy keeps trying? Then you'll probably going to have to be pretty blunt with him. Nobody wants to have to come out and say it with brutal honesty, but sometimes you have to.
mrgoodcat Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 So guys, what's the best way for a girl to tell you she's not feeling it? Tell him YOU'RE NOT FEELING IT unless you have doubts! I hate when women "fade" or flake or make excuses. Just wastes my time thinking about them, no matter how much I can be occupied with something else. It's the mature thing to do and the right thing to do. Always. Grow up and tell guys what you're thinking. You will actually get a lot of "thank you's" because it's to their own benefit and not yours. Fading is the cowards' way out. Hate those. 1
leavesonautumn Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 "I don't see this going anywhere" "I'm not interested in dating you" I've basically said to a guy once that I wanted to be upfront with him and that it would be best if we didn't continue seeing each other. He thanked me for being honest. It was tough initially but I was 100% behind my decision by the next day and felt relieved. I've been in another situation which basically faded on both ends. It depends on the circumstances.
mightycpa Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 You're really nice, but the truth is that I'm not feeling the spark. I think I could be friends, but nothing more. You seem like a decent guy, so I didn't want to just fade on you. I thought I'd try telling you the truth. 1
CatalystNX Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 You're really nice, but the truth is that I'm not feeling the spark. I think I could be friends, but nothing more. You seem like a decent guy, so I didn't want to just fade on you. I thought I'd try telling you the truth. This. Upfront, but nice about it is better than just fading or ignoring texts/messages.
Tik Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I find this bit do hard. I hate rejecting people so I just keep interactions strictly friendly and don't flirt. I'm scared to online date cause I don't know how to deal with a situation in which it isn't going anywhere or there isn't mutual attraction. I faded on guys in the past, and many fade on me but I have a huge guilt complex about it. So guys, what's the best way for a girl to tell you she's not feeling it? Why? You've done nothing wrong nor should you be. If a guy becomes 'butt hurt' as they say, it is their fault not yours. It takes two to tango. Always be blunt and straight to the point otherwise guys will continue to persist thinking they have a chance. 1
smackie9 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I can't count the times we had guys posting threads on here asking "Is she really busy or is she blowing me off?". And it will go on and on for pages. They text, try to set up another date, they don't get a call back, they keep saying i"ll give her another week, excuse excuse excuse. She called and apologized, then stopped responding, haven't heard from her it's day 5 now, blah blah blah.
Tik Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I can't count the times we had guys posting threads on here asking "Is she really busy or is she blowing me off?". And it will go on and on for pages. They text, try to set up another date, they don't get a call back, they keep saying i"ll give her another week, excuse excuse excuse. She called and apologized, then stopped responding, haven't heard from her it's day 5 now, blah blah blah. Yeah I use to be like that but one soon realises that if a girl was really intersested, she would stop at nothing to be with you. As such a 2 strike rule applies. You're better off spending your time focussing on yourself. Heck you might even meet someone new 2.0 while out doing your hobbies rather than waiting for said other chick to reply.
Harradin Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I'd rather she told me with brutal honesty that she wasn't interested. I wouldn't be offended as its life, I'd win some and lose some. Then I'd thank her for her honesty and let her move on with her life.
Trane Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 This is always the tough thing to do in dating. Like I said, the truth is never easy but it will set you free. I appreciate women who are honest and upfront without being mean about it. "I enjoyed hanging out with you and gave US a try but I don't want to lead you on and waste each other's time. I would be lying to you if I told you differently and it wouldn't be fair or right for the both of us."
Author thecrucible Posted November 16, 2014 Author Posted November 16, 2014 Thanks. I'll give those a try. Just don't know how to phrase it. I feel I don't want to jump the gun because sometimes if the guy doesn't ask me out but likes me, I'd rather him think I didn't notice his moves then lose dignity. Plus sometimes I don't want to act presumptuous. I'm okay being outright honest usually but certain situations are harder and I feel tied about how to approach it and whether or not it would hurt his feelings. But I have also been on the receiving end so I know dragging things on is unnecessary.
J21 Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 "i think you're really nice, and I enjoyed meeting you, but I don't think the chemistry is there"
WomenWubber Posted November 16, 2014 Posted November 16, 2014 "Sorry, not interested. :)" The best, imo.
Recommended Posts