enchanted771 Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 This guy I like told me the other day that he has never met anyone so shy, and I am the shyest person he has ever met. I explained to him that I've been this way my entire life, and I'm just quiet at times. Is this a turnoff? He still continues to talk to me, so I don't know if it's A turnoff or intimidating. I know he's used to women probably being bold and I'm more reserved but I can't change who I am. It's something I try working on, but it is what it is. I have social anxiety. I have known him a while, but we stopped talking and reconnected a month ago. Thoughts?
endlessabyss Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 It's all relative. It will be a turnoff for some, not so much for others. 2
preraph Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 It's not usually a big turnoff to a man if a woman is shy unless it's to the point where they just aren't comfortable at all with interacting and can't warm up and be conversational. 1
PogoStick Posted November 14, 2014 Posted November 14, 2014 It depends on the guy. Shyness isn't inherently unattractive. However, one issue that you might experience is that you won't seem approachable or interested in guys. A guy might like you, but your lack of giving signals will tell a guy to leave you alone. You will probably miss out on opportunities that you would have if you were more outgoing. 1
Author enchanted771 Posted November 15, 2014 Author Posted November 15, 2014 It's something I def need to work on. I am conversational, and even outgoing after I warm up to a person. Problem is when they compliment me I kind of clam up and avoid eye contact.
thecrucible Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I'm a little shy myself. It depends on the type of guy. I had an ex who found it frustrating because he was really outgoing. I realised I needed someone who was more outgoing than me but not to the point of being polar opposites. You've just got to find the right balance.
newmoon Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 it depends on the person. lots of people like a quieter type. personally, i dislike shy people, they are too much work (in a relationship). as friends, they are fine. but he isn't giving you a compliment, you know? your shyness might be interesting and novel if he's used to something different, but if you read between the lines it probably means he isn't interested
Author enchanted771 Posted November 15, 2014 Author Posted November 15, 2014 it depends on the person. lots of people like a quieter type. personally, i dislike shy people, they are too much work (in a relationship). as friends, they are fine. but he isn't giving you a compliment, you know? your shyness might be interesting and novel if he's used to something different, but if you read between the lines it probably means he isn't interested He does give me compliments a lot, and I blush but it's not like I'm cold toward him. He is aggressive and I'm not. Usually women would hit on him and I'm more down to earth. We joke around and laugh and are affectionate with each other I'm just not dominant.
Zippy2000 Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 I suppose there is different levels of shyness. I dated a girl who was really quiet and shy and it became hard work when we actually communicated. She hardly said a word of interacted. On the flip side I've noticed this other girl at my work who is shy but does make conversation. Although limited its different from the first girl i described. For me it isn't a turn off. Just hard work lol 1
Author enchanted771 Posted November 15, 2014 Author Posted November 15, 2014 I definitely interact but I just think I'm not very outspoken where I'll say hey! I missed you, etc. It's not at the level where he's uninterested but when I get quiet he asks if I'm okay. I have to just warm up to a person. Then there are times where I won't shut up lol...was never an issue in any relationships at all. He's just super outgoing so I have to catch my breath to keep up.
CatalystNX Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Personally, it's a turn-on to me. Harder work, sure, but if you can break through the shyness it's usually worth it in my experience.
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2014 Posted November 15, 2014 Join ToastMasters. It's about public speaking but it can really help with shyness. As for the compliments, practice saying "thank you." The way this guy phrased it I suspect he thinks it's cute but if he constantly has to carry the conversations & you just sit there, it will get old.
Recommended Posts