Timshel Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I would date someone with children as I have them myself. For me, the kids do not come into play until.......still waiting............children IMO should not enter the equation until a serious and committed relationship happens. So, dating, doing fun things together when the children are not present and will not be affected, Yep.
organizedchaos Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 If yes does it matter how many? I would date someone with kids but not more than 2. I do and doesn't matter how many. I have one kid. Current gf has one son so it works out great for us.
dj572 Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 Yes but it depends on the age, how many and how well behaved they are. I would prefer to date somebody without kids since I never had any and I don't want any.
d0nnivain Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 When I was under 30 I would not. It was an absolute deal breaker for me. As I aged, I was more open to the idea. 1
E-Squared Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I am not opposed to it at all. I dated someone with a son and the boy was only three years old at the time. It didn't work out, but I am not against dating single parents. I almost dated a girl a few years ago who has a daughter. She was almost four years old at the time. It had nothing to do with the kid. I like kids, so I am not opposed to dating someone with kids.
Awon Apanilerin Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 No way, no how. You will always be second in line to her kids. You also have to deal with staring at what is essentially a mini-clone of her ex.
aggie382 Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I would, yes. I have, and I am now. But it's not the easiest situation to deal with, especially if you don't want to spend date nights alone.
Mangina Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 It depends on the person, and on the kids, Sorry to say, but that's just how it is. Can you elaborate?
Scaatys2014 Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 Absolutely!!! You could be missing out on something great. People with kids aren't any different than people without. Minus the odd scheduling conflicts. I dated a fantastic guy who had FOUR! I think its very narrow minded to exclude great people solely because of kids. They aren't lepers for goodness sakes!
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I don't think so. I'm 26, I want kids someday. I love kids in general, love spending time with my nephews, with the kids of my older friends, it's not that I don't love children. I just think I'd struggle with the dynamic of knowing that they came with an ex who was never going to be in the past, for that reason I don't think it'd bother me anywhere near as much if the guy was widowed with young kids. Maybe that's crazy! It'd be a possibility anyway, but he'd have to be pretty special, and if I had to choose between a guy with kids or a guy without kids it'd be the guy without kids. I kinda want to do all of the pregnancy, and child rearing together for the first time. Not feel like he's already done it all. My co-worker has two kids, he's divorced, and he's just moved into his new girlfriend's house, obviously they've had to make a room for the kids because he's a great, committed dad and has them half the time. But she's really struggling taking on this insta-family, she has no kids and hasn't lived with a guy for ten years so it's a huge shock to her and they're arguing all of the time. Before he moved in things were perfect, now he's there all the time and the kids are there half the time the cracks are showing already. It kinda made me realise how when a guy has kids, if he's a good dad with 50/50 custody, you're not just taking the guy on, you're taking the care of, or spending time with children half the time too, if things get serious. Yeah... love kids, but would rather have several years of just me and a new partner together first before we start being parents.
Art_Critic Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I have many times in my 20's and 30's and in a previous life even married someone with a child so I was a step parent during that marriage. It's all good... I think a real life lesson to be learned is that you can't pick and choose down the the level of things that life has control over... Anyone of us could marry and have a child, then get divorced for no fault of our own and be out in the dating world as a single parent.. every single one of us... So I was single I always preferred to keep my options open and judgment free 1
Scaatys2014 Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 Don't assume that just because someone has kids that they also have the "been there, done that" attitude. I also have kids of my own and been married (obviously) but that doesn't mean that if I met someone special that wanted kids and to get married, that I wouldn't be willing, or JUST as excited to share the experience with them. Kids are awesome and it really doesn't matter if they are yours or someone else's, kids can be stressful, period. If you meet a single guy/girl and have kids of your own, there will be fighting. Its life. Can't blame it solely on the fact that its because of a blended family.
orangetree Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I wouldn't date someone with children, at least not at this point of my life. I'm in my twenties and I don't want someone who already has that kind of responsibilities, plus I want children myself so I'd prefer if he doesn't have to divide his money and attention between two families. BUT when I'm older, let's say in my forties and I'd be single again, I think I would date someone with children, even when I'm childless myself. Many men over 40 have children, so it would be difficult to find someone without children. And if I have kids myself I obviously wouldn't expect a partner to not have any.
preraph Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I would much rather not, and no way with kids under 10 or 12, but there are circumstances with people I already have established relationships with where I would at least consider the logistics. But I did consider logistics about 12 years ago with an old complicated bf who had a youngish teen and brought him across the US to meet me and felt me out and things. At the time I was actually re-in love with a different old flame and it was still up in the air, so I didn't have to think long. Not sure if I'd have given it more thought or at least a temporary try at a time I wasn't feeling involved with someone else. Alas, this man sunk back into alcoholism, if indeed he had ever completely gotten out.
regine_phalange Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 No, I don't think so. I like kids but I wouldn't be comfortable.
Carolinagrl Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 Yes but not if they had children with multiple women. I'd love to date a man with children. It´s very attrative when somebody is good parent and they usually have their priorities straight if they are one.
GemmaUK Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 Yes, I would prefer to date someone who has children actually. I have dated men with children in the past. It's no issue for me. 1
bdhouston Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 If I really liked the woman and saw myself with her long term, yes it would be an option.
preraph Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I do agree with a couple of the posters above that dating a man with children is a good way to see what kind of father and what kind of relationship they maintain with the mother of the kids is. If he's handling it well and doing his half of the parenting and not just bringing in a woman so he doesn't have to care for the children after divorce or he's not having his mother do it, but he's actually taking full charge of his half the custody and care for the children, then yes, that's a good thing to look for in a man if you want children yourself. But so often, you will find him leaving the kids's care on you so he can just keep doing what he was doing before he got divorced, and that should be a red flag, IMO, not to consider having kids with him. Plus whatever his relationship with the ex tells you a lot about him. If it's chaotic and bitter, that's how you will usually end as well. If it's civilized and mature and everything focused on the kids' benefit, that's a great sign.
Mangina Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 I personally like kids and wish I had some. There is a lot of bad talk about dating a single mother but they are usually good purple
USMCHokie Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 My SO has one kid, and if I was ever in a position to have to find a new relationship, I would never date a woman with children. My SO's daughter's dad is still an active part of her life, so I do not consider myself a stepparent in any sense of the term. However, there are occasions where I have to pay for things for SO's daughter, and to be honest, that bothers me a little. So for me, I just don't want to foot the bill for some other guy's kid(s).
Gloria25 Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 My SO has one kid, and if I was ever in a position to have to find a new relationship, I would never date a woman with children. My SO's daughter's dad is still an active part of her life, so I do not consider myself a stepparent in any sense of the term. However, there are occasions where I have to pay for things for SO's daughter, and to be honest, that bothers me a little. So for me, I just don't want to foot the bill for some other guy's kid(s). But what about being exposed to the kid? I mean, they do eventually get attached to the person the parent is dating and a lot of times suffer another loss if/when the parent breaks up with that person they were dating. I think it's wrong for people just to drag their kids around someone they're "dating". But, then again, too many people who call themselves "parents" are just worried about their needs and the kids are just along for the ride. Oh, and about me? The only way I'd date someone with kids is if I wasn't involved with the kids. I don't have any and am not raising anyone else's kids. I've also seen some guys just want to get with any chick to be a mommy/maid to their kids since mum is no longer in the picture. I'm not some guy's nanny/maid.
USMCHokie Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 But what about being exposed to the kid? I mean, they do eventually get attached to the person the parent is dating and a lot of times suffer another loss if/when the parent breaks up with that person they were dating. Her daughter is in college and I only see her maybe twice a year for a week at a time when she visits her mom (where I pay for her flight out here ). She does not consider me a parent and I do not consider her a kid. I think it's a mutual unspoken understanding. 1
Gloria25 Posted January 20, 2015 Posted January 20, 2015 Her daughter is in college and I only see her maybe twice a year for a week at a time when she visits her mom (where I pay for her flight out here ). She does not consider me a parent and I do not consider her a kid. I think it's a mutual unspoken understanding. Ok, we're talking about over 18 yrs....fine by me then.
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